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Edited on Mon May-17-10 11:06 AM by MorningGlow
Just this morning. Burned through more than 500 pages of reeeallly tiny type in just a few days--can't remember the last time I managed to do that. (I now STRONGLY suspect that the death of my MacBook was part of some secret plan to get me to read it right NOW. Oh--and greetings from the new MacBook Pro! :hi:)
I still don't want to tell y'all the name of the book, mainly because of all the painfully personal details--the not-good ones, that is. And they did continue throughout the book. Let me see if I can share my experience without giving away too much of the plot and totally humiliating myself on the WORLDWIDE intertubes...
Basically the novel was two in one. The main character (who was my doppleganger) had a neutral sort of life, then was faced with a major choice. Half of the book followed what happened when she followed one path off that single moment, and the other half of the book followed what happened when she followed another path.
In Path A, let's call it, the main character's life continued unchanged, and she made the most of it as it was. But it was far from perfect and didn't end happily.
In Path B, she took a leap of faith, and it was hard. It didn't bring her complete happiness, but at the end of it, she realized that if she had to do it all again, she would make the same choice.
Path A mirrors my current life. At the start of the book, the path paralleled my life starting about a year or two ago. The book's plot caught up to my present and passed it, but the details that matched my life did continue up to where it hit my "present day". (Confused yet? :P)
Path B is not in my current reality, even as an option. However, over the past couple of years I HAVE experienced this life, but in a series of very powerful, not-your-average-brain-dump dreams. Trust me, these were reality-shaking, and I have always woken from them all kinds of "out of it" for hours, and sometimes days, at a time. So I have experienced some of Path B, but not in this dimension. I have come to learn, however, that that alternate dimension is quite real, not a figment of my imagination, and, in a way, more powerful and more real than this 3-D existence. I'm not sure I can explain it any better than that.
I'm still reeling from all this and am still working out what it all means. Why was I led to read this book, and why now? What is the lesson for me? I can think of several, but I'm not sure which one is the most pertinent--or should I pay attention to several of them, or all of them?
I have been scribbling in my journal all morning trying to figure it out. I have come to a few conclusions, albeit tentative ones. The path I'm on, Path A, is less than ideal. Can it be yanked back onto the rails before it's too late? And was reading this book a warning to do just that? Possibly. However, what if it's supposed to take this trajectory? What if I'm just being prepped for my future? I don't know the answer to that. Path B, as detailed in the book, gave me a dose of "reality"--the good that I experience in my dreams tempered by the nasty bits that have been kept in the shadows (for me). Do I want that? Really? I don't know the answer to that either.
Most important, however, is the entire time I was reading the book, I desperately wanted the main character to jettison BOTH realities and choose a third, middle path. She was almost self-destructive, hurtling down both of them, letting other people in her life influence her so completely, that I wanted to scream "Stand up for yourself! Tell those people to get off your back! Don't choose EITHER PATH!" Perhaps that's my lesson--that there's a middle way that's preferable.
Oh, and one other thing--the main character was a damned sap! :rofl: I wanted to slap her and tell her to snap out of it. She was SOOOOO easily influenced and malleable and, at times, downright codependent. I do hope I'm not that bad. I don't think I am... :P
Anyway, that's as much as I know right now. I may add to this thread if I have any revelations, but my brain is pretty fried right now (as you might imagine).
But if anybody gets a vibe off of all this, PLEASE let me know. I think I'm gonna need all the assistance I can get. And you can believe that I am going to assault my guides in my pre-bed meditation to ask for some insight. I think I might need a little clarification here...or, you know, a lot... :crazy:
On edit: inner grammar cop came out
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