My dad's death

My dad died Sunday morning. He was at home on hospice care, so while it was expected, it wasn't expected right now.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you all my personal experience. My sister called me Sat. morning & said that dad was not responding. I made it over there by shortly after noon. All day we had people in and out visiting, and late that night we drank a toast of wonderful Quebecois wine to the greatest dad in the world. Everyone left except me and my sister. She & mom went to bed. I drew 1st shift - we were going to take shifts being with him through the night.

I sat for about 20 minutes & held dad's hand. I talked to him, thanked him for being my dad, recounted amusing stories of the 2 of us, and sang "Raindrops on Roses" from the Sound of Music. When I was 4 y.o., he sang that to me during a thunderstorm, and from that point on I wasn't afraid of storms. I told him it was OK to go Home, that we would take care of mom, that we love him and will miss him, and I breathed in rhythm with him.,

The dog & I curled up on the couch together. Suddenly, he started pacing the house. I kept telling him to sit with me, no - he couldn't go out, etc. Within 5 min. my dad drew his last breath. The dog knew.

I feel very privileged to have been there. I wonder why he chose that moment to pass. My sister & mother are both nurses, so they probably understood the process better than I.

Within a short amount of time, my BIL, nephews, and minister were with us. Mom was hysterical. My husband couldn't come over because he had to stay home with our girls (8 & 9 yo.). I took a smoke break on the front porch and paced the sidewalk as I did years ago when my grandmother died in our house.

I was standing at the edge of the porch and heard faint music. I turned my head to see where it came from, and it stopped. I stared again into the night and heard it again. It sounded like a harp. I quickly looked at the wind chime and it was still. A minute or so later, a breeze came up, and I looked at & heard the wind chimes as they moved. It was not the same sound that I had heard before.

I believe it was my dad telling me that he is OK. I haven't told anyone about this, even though I debated 'round and 'round as I prepared my eulogy for his funeral yesterday.

Boy that was tough! I wasn't sure I could do it, but I kept hearing dad saying "Come on Lizzie, you can do it! Your mom needs this", and when I was done, I heard "Good job!"

I feel I've been truly blessed, & that my spiritual senses have been awakened through this experience. Where do I go from here? What do I do? What I experienced Sun. AM doesn't fit in with any organized religion. If you can point me in a direction, I would greatly appreciate it.

I'm glad you got to experience that and know your dad is okay. I believe the harp was from him as well. I have heard a harp before and other musical instruments as well from spirits so it wasn't unusual that you heard a harp. :) So I do think it was probably from your dad, and yes animals can sense spirits way better than your average human. I think where you want to go is up to you. Once you're involved in the spirit realm it's hard to close the door again. Just try to stay safe and becareful.

even in such a time of great loss.....my condolences to you.

I also was privileged to take care of my Dad and be there when he died at home with Hospice care in 1997.

He was a "problematic" Dad as well, as he had ruled our family as a tyrant or military officer while providing us with a good material life and one filled with exciting travel experiences - a "mixed bag" Dad, in other words!

What to do now? I don't know - I had my younger sister to talk to on the phone with after Dad's (and Mom's) death, as we were on a very similar wavelength. After their deaths I did go for about a year to a Unitarian Church, but that is the only church that felt a little like my own beliefs and philosophy.

All the best for you all. Hope your Mom has the strength and support to work through her grief.

:hug:

DemEx

My dad was terminally ill in the hospital for two weeks (after two years of illness).
We got to talk and share. He admitted some regrets, and I told him, "oh no, you didn't make any mistakes". He felt a great burden for leaving us behind.

Our lifetime (mine) of togetherness made everything special. I don't agree with everything he stood for. But he was my best friend. I was living 60 miles away then, and drove up every day to stay. He left when I wasn't there. Sunday a.m. His best friend from college had finally arrived the night before. I think he left everything in his friend's hands. He could finally go on to rest. He was so very tired.

He came to me in dreams for a couple of years. Now, I believe, he has moved on. Found a new place. Here or there, I do not know.

They will always have breath. That's you and me.

Your experience doesn't need sanction from 'organized religion'.
I was in shock. The worst thing that ever happened, losing him.
Most tell you, "the pain lessens". I have found that it does not. It become less frequent over time, but not any less.

My sincere condolences. It only happens once.

Your story is truly heart warming.

I believe there is much more to this world of ours than our minds can EVER conceive. I believe animals have many more senses than we do or even have knowledge of. (incorrect english) sorry

I believe love will endure over and beyond and through consciousness, but, if it doesn't I have lost nothing by my beliefs.

Hugs to you

It's quite a touching post. And good you had a last toast with him...

Be well, take care -- and my hunch is the musical messages are okay...

My father died in January and it was unexpected. I know how hard it can be.

I have had several experiences since he died that are unexplainable. I have started to believe that what you experienced is "normal". I hope that you keep listening and just realize that you will find the place you need to be. I went to Unity several years ago and I really liked it. It was just what I needed at the time. :hug:

it can be dreams or just odd little quirks like you experienced, I am glad that you had
this psychic flash. It will help you get through the bad times.

Not long after my grandfather died last July (just a few days after my birthday in fact) I was really missing him a lot and I told my guides how I missed my grandfather and would like to see him sometime. Than that night in my dreams I got to visit with him. In the dream I could only see, hear and talk to him so that was special that he came to see just me. When my geat-grandmother on my dad's side died I could feel it in my heart and when her funeral happened on the way down the whole way I smelt cooked ham. My grandma (dad's mom) later told me that was her favorite meal. I don't feel her pop around anymore though but she did shortly after she died since she knew I could feel her. My grandfather is still with my grandmother looking after her and I can always strongly feel him there and he's popped in here every once in a while. Whenever you miss them just try calling for them and they'll come when they can. It always happens and works. Maybe not right away but it will eventually because with them they have no time like we do.

One night I was sleeping and I kept hearing my dog barking, I remember telling her to quied down and when finally I woke up and realized that there had been an intruder in my apartment, my front door was wide open, my dog, my childhood pet had died 10 years earlier.
But I know what I heard and the intruder did too.

The sure knowledge that a being does continue beyond this plane is a wonderful gift. Your father must have loved you very much to leave you with this demonstration of life's continuance in the midst of his passing.

May your burdens lighten soon, and please know that I'll carry you in my heart during this painful time.


Laura

When my father died unexpectedly, I hurried to the hospital after getting the call. I had a friend ride with me. I was in a daze and I guess I was speeding. The police pulled me over--they got out of the car but never made it to my car. Apparently, an emergency call came over their radio and they got back in their car and sped away. I went on to the hospital. There I saw my dad. He was still warm. I kissed him. I was in shock. I think that the one thing I take away from that experience is that when someone passes, and you get to see them for the last time cherish it. Because, that's it. I carried a deep sense of regret that I was not there for him when he died. I had a dream within a week of his funeral. He was at my house, he held my hand and touched his heart--as if to say he forgave me, that he loved me. I never dreamed of him again.

When my cousin died, I was at his house with relatives. We were talking about what to do with his belongings, I was standing by a window. The window blew open. Hard. We had all been talking. Everybody shut up. It was as if he wanted us to know he was there.

Just my experiences.

Cherish the memory of your dad. Cherish the last time you spent with him.

My husband passed away last year before the holidays too. It's hard, I know. I too was blessed to be with him when he passed. Like your father, it's like he waited to be with me for it to happen like it was their last gift to us.

I was lucky enough to be with my mother when she passed 4 yrs ago. It is something that I never will forget. The night before she passed, I sat there quietly with her. My inlaws had been in earlier and she had been talking to them. She kept insisting that someone else was in the room with us. She had been having difficulty speaking but she managed to reach up to me, grab my ear, pull my head around and say "Harry". He was her brother and the last relative to pass. I told her "Mom, I don't see Uncle Harry. But if you see him, I'm not going to tell you that you don't". She settled right down. Every once in awhile, she'd put her finger to her ear, like she was hearing something she couldn't believe. She had a total look of wonder and awe on her face. I had to leave her (sick kid and new infant at home) and I told her I'd be back first thing in the morning. She patted my hand and I kissed her.

When I arrived in the morning, she seemed mildly reponsive. I told her how much I loved her, what a good mom she had been, how I hoped to be able to be as good as she was, that I would watch over my older brother and my kids and husband. I told her it was OK to go, that she needed to go and be with my dad. After I finished that sentence, she took another breath or two and then just didn't take another one. As I was sitting there holding her hand, I felt like someone hugged my heart, and from that moment on, I felt as though I had just sent Mom on a happy journey that she wanted to go on.

I'm failing miserably trying to explain it. It was the most peaceful experience I have ever had. I know there is something on the other side, not quite sure what, but I just know. It seems, in our family at least, that the last person to pass comes and helps the dying person with their journey. It made my faith and belief stronger, rather than question my faith.

I send you my deepest sympathies for the loss of your beloved father. Thanks for sharing your story. I was touched to read it. You were, indeed, blessed to be with your father as he crossed over. How wonderful you were able to be so present for him in such a beautiful and profound way. You have been touched by the Mystery.... Be at peace and know there are simply some things in this world that cannot be explained or made sense of. And, remember: True love NEVER dies. O8)

Blessings to you,
Shine

message from your father.

In reference to what to do next, that's tough because I'm also searching to find my path. I think that every path is different but the main thing is to find things that allow you to connect with your higher self. Do you meditate? If not, that might be a good place to start. Also, journaling your dreams can be really interesting. I'm not sure if this is the type of thing that you're looking for; if not, please forgive my misunderstanding your question.

:hug:

for your kind words of sympathy and sharing of stories. As silly as it sounds, I feel like I'm the only person who can comprehend what I'm going through.

For as long as I can remember, I've had a passion for the "paranormal" - ghosts, clairvoyance, angels, etc. I have read and studied extensively on my own. I feel like this is the Creator's way of saying "OK, now it's time for action", but I don't know which way to go.

I've tried meditation, but always end up falling asleep! Part of my problem too is that my husband scoffs at all things spiritual. He has no belief in the Creator or an afterlife. I have no one to talk to about all of this. My mother & sister are deeply involved in their mainstream Presbyterian church. The only person I've told about the music (besides you folks) is my cousin who flew in from Florida. I felt comfortable telling her after she told me that she awoke at 1 AM (his time of death) and couldn't get to sleep until 5 AM (the time that everyone went to bed after the funeral director took my dad's body). That was significant too.

I went back to work today, and all day all I could think was that I am meant to be doing something more.

I'll continue searching to find out what.

but I also fall asleep during it. My husband's even a meditation teacher! However, he says that it's not necessarily a bad thing because it can get the cognitive mind and ego out of the way. It still feels as though I've done nothing more than just slept.

It sounds to me as though your soul is restless and longing for more connection.

(On edit: I just felt drawn to check where you live in your profile. If I understand where you live, I live about an hour from you. :hi: Do you ever go into Pittsburgh?)

but hate driving downtown. The only time I haven't gotten lost in town is when I learned how to use the navigation in my car!

What part of the area do you live in? I live in No. Huntingdon, but work in the South Hills (Bethel Park).

:)

I also live near Pittsburgh.

about your Dad's passing. It is very good that you, and the rest of the family,got to be with him at the end. I'm sure it will be a fond memory. One thing I've noticed, and try to remember when friends and loved ones pass.. that, though it is an inconceivable loss, it is also a new beginning for them. It is a completion, and a time for them to return home. Though difficult to bear in mind, (amidst the loss)I find this to be a helpful thought.
I was especially interested in hearing your experience, because my own father is not too far away from that point. Though I hope he still has a few years left. My dad is a really crusty old fellow who swears like a sailor, but looks to my mother to be the one who is "in charge". I've been dreading the time when he will go, but so many people here have posted about 'passings' so I guess it can be dealt with. I hope you will be open to any signs of communication from him, however subtle.

It was in February of 2000. I had to go to Las Vegas for business and knew(rather felt)that this may be dad's last day. When I finally got home that night, my stepmom was sitting with him and he was in the last stages. It appears he had hung on all day, breathing labored, until I got home. Within minutes of me lying with him in bed and holding him and telling him he could let go, he took a last big inspiration of breath and left on the exhalation. The most rewarding and beautifully painful experience of my life. I can tell when he's around when I get a faint wiff of Old Spice aftershave.

Cherish that memory and feel honored he wished to share his last breath with you. And always remember, he didn't die, he was born into a different reality.

Blessed be

Last night, after posting the above message, I decided to look for a book in my vast collection for something that would provide comfort and guidance. I found a box in our bedroom (from when I put them there 8 mos. ago!). Right on top was a book called "A Glimpse of Heaven", by Carla Wills-Brandon Ph.D. On the back, it says, "If you've ever had a spiritually transformative experience, you will findf support and guidance in this unique book."

I bought the book at least a year ago (copyright is 04), and never looked at it until now. I've done that before - bought a book, put it away at home, then picked up some time later and found it to be precisely what I was ready for.

I really miss my dad. I know he is happy and joyful to be Home, it's just that there is a big hole in our lives right now. I'm jealous too. I'm sick of the drudgery of this world and want to go Home, but I'm not the self-destructive type. I want to find more meaning in my life - make it more worthwhile as I wait my turn to join him.

That happens to me a lot with books....I love the joy and surprise when I "re-discover" them!

I really miss my dad. I know he is happy and joyful to be Home, it's just that there is a big hole in our lives right now. I'm jealous too. I'm sick of the drudgery of this world and want to go Home, but I'm not the self-destructive type. I want to find more meaning in my life - make it more worthwhile as I wait my turn to join him.

I too can empathize with these feelings about wanting to go home, although I am torn between this desire and the desire to stick around for and with my children and other loved ones here.

:hug:

DemEx

for you to discover. Several years ago, I felt the same way you do and decided to go on a spiritual quest. I started reading everything I could get my hands on--from the library, metaphysical bookstore and borrowed from friends. It's helpful if you can find some like-minded souls to discuss these things. My husband also scoffed at anything spiritual although in the 6 months before his death last year, he had begun to see the truth about the terrible situation our country is in. He was a wonderful, kind, caring person, and I can't help but think he would have eventually stepped onto a spiritual path. He had multiple health problems and died (last year) of a massive heart attack. I wish I had been with him when he died. I know that he is happy now to have a perfect lightbody and is probably doing cartwheels.

Try to get involved in some sort of volunteer work where you can give to those who are in need. There you will find your heart and that "hole" will soon be filled with joy. Your father was a very lucky man to have such a devoted and loving daughter. You will miss him forever, but know that you will see him again one day.

Love and peace.

very moving - Please get the Conversations with God books - Volumes 1-3 and then get Tomorrow's God by Neale Donald Walsh. These books have given me such great peace and understsanding - actually totally changed my life. I had a dream last night that my Dad died - And I really, really hope it wasn't a prophetic dream.

"I feel I've been truly blessed, & that my spiritual senses have been awakened through this experience. Where do I go from here? What do I do? What I experienced Sun. AM doesn't fit in with any organized religion. If you can point me in a direction, I would greatly appreciate it."

You go on with your life. Love your children and family. Take care of your Mom. And remember and honor your father. That's what he wants you to do. Enjoy life and remember Him.

Light and peace be with your Father.

:hug:

:hug:

I had several 'out of the ordinary' experiences after my mother died. I had asked her when she was dying, if she could let us know, if possible, if she was okay when she passed.

All the members of my family had 'visits' from her, each of us in their own way. For me, it was aural, for one sister, presence; for another, her fragrance. For my father...he saw her.

I had also had her come into my dreams; my grandmother, too.

As to what to do...I cannot say. I imagine grieving will take precedence right now. I read a lot of books, and opened up to people, many of whom had the same types of experiences. It certainly broadened my spiritual horizons, and gives life a whole new dimension.