A question for my fellow females and sensitives

Do you find your sensitivity increases at certain times in your cycle? I had noticed this in the past but chalked it up to PMS but since I have taken my empathy seriously I noticed that during that time of the month I am extra sensitive. Too permeable might be a better term. It is so much harder to shut out other's energy. This one has been especially bad. My Mother started to tell me some things going on with friends, some really tough stuff and I could feel her (justified) anger and outrage on their behalf. It felt like someone scraping sandpaper on exposed nerve endings, like I had no skin on plus it filled me with anger I was too overwhelmed at first to redirect harmlessly. I was in the car with her so there was no getting away short of jumping out in traffic so I had to ask her to stop and forced a change in subject. Maybe it would not have been so bad with anyone else just then except it was my Mother. I can't totally filter her out no matter what I have tried.

However, I'll pay more attention now to see if such a pattern exists for me.

And, like Dream, I've never tracked it and compared it to where I was in my cycle. I will do that!

However, we are not trained to recognize it, much less appreciate the cycle.

I just discovered Dr. Christiane Northrup this week and got her menopause book from the library immediately.

Be good to yourself.

Here's a snip from her website (she describes the entire cycle and I recommend reading the whole thing) >

http://www.drnorthrup.com/womenshealth/healthcenter/topic_details.php?topic_id=138

Since our culture generally appreciates only what we can understand rationally, many women tend to block at every opportunity the flow of unconscious "lunar" information that comes to them premenstrually or during their menstrual cycle. Lunar information is reflective and intuitive. It comes to us in our dreams, our emotions, and our hungers. It comes under cover of darkness. When we routinely block the information that is coming to us in the second half of our menstrual cycles, it has no choice but to come back as PMS or menopausal madness, in the same way that our other feelings and bodily symptoms, if ignored, often result in illness.

Wonder what she has to say about menopause or post-menopause regarding that 'flow' of the unconscious lunar info?

I got from the library as soon as I saw her on Oprah
http://www.drnorthrup.com/bookstore/northrup_products.php?product_id=198
"The Wisdom of Menopause"

She says that during that time, we are more focused, we can see more clearly, and we have reached a point where we have to live our truth. She says many marriages do not survive it. I've only started reading, and it has already helped my mood immensely.

things that normally make me a little tiny bit frusterated make me angry to enraged. Or things that might make me a tiny bit sad or sentimental like a tear jerker commercial makes me cry or even sob.

In my case part of this is shadow stuff, things that were too overwhelming at the time jostling to get released and things that I try to avoid are in there. For years and years I avoided anger for fear of turning into a rageoholic like certain people I know. Plus there was the 'nice' and 'spiritual' people don't get angry load of nonsense so I didn't alow myself anger.

Also with PMS comes not just lack of tolerance for self but lack of tolerance with others - and sometimes it is a good thing. I would sometimes stand up for myself more to my sister during PMS than when not driven by all that bugbling anger to motivate me. In other words I didn't tolerate the crappy behavior like normal. I just couldn't take it any more. I guess it was the level of ability to repress things was lowered.

your last line is exactly what Dr. Northrup says about being anywhere close to menopause. Maybe the PMS part of the cycle simulates menopause hormonally. Without looking it up, I don't know if estrogen levels drop during that time? Those symptoms are very much like the ones that drove me to HRT. I was going to trade school and the other students annoyed me so much, I had to leave early a few times to avoid making a scene. I'm so glad you explained that because it helps me better understand what Dr. N. is writing about menopause. We can't take it any more! She writes about her own divorce and how she had to have her voice. It could no longer be repressed. Maybe those moments ARE trying to tell you something that isn't noticeable other times.

and now you're ON IT!!!"

or 'I'm mad as hell and I am not gonna take it any more!'

My anger will feel like a volcano preparing to erupt. The trick is finding ways to diffuse or redirect the eruption so it can be used in some way or at least harmlessly redirected. Then there is the pit of sadness, all the unmorned things that are stuck in limbo as well. During that time these emotions are so near the surface there is no way to totally avoid them. I try to not surpress my emotions but I think I need to give myself a bit more space especially in that time to let nature take it's proper course when emotional stuff comes up.

I keep an accurate menstrual chart, so it shouldn't be too hard to do.

and, as such, am having periods only sporadically now. Used to be, when they were regular, I could tell before they came because of the sensitivity you are talking about. Now--well, they come upon me as a surprise. I feel instead an underlying sense of calmness that is there even when events are spiraling out of hand...it is as if I'm detached, watching events more than participating in them. This could be an emotional defense mechanism kicking in, rather than the result of becoming a wise woman--I don't know at this time.

... since I am post menopausal now I am calmer most of the time. With no cycle evident it appears to me that I am becoming the Crone. I am much more settled, if that is the word. I am understanding more now why in ancient times in my culture (Irish, Swedish, and German) they chose older women as the healers and community leaders. After our children are grown, our homes settled, our relationships less volatile, we become wiser because so much of our "radar" is honed into something finer, unaffected by our cycles.

In my youth in this culture, we did not even recognize empaths, sensitives, or mediums and unless you had a metaphysical talent WAY beyond most, one you could not ignore, less affected girls who became women affected by their cycles did not understand what was happening when the din of the world invaded their conscience and un-conscience world.

I am glad you asked, because as I reflect on your question, I believe I understand more fully what was happening to me when the PMS stage of my cycle manifested itself. I was one of those who went beyond crying, every single bad mistake and sudden decision that eventually affected my life came at that time. I am now thinking maybe this was because that was when everyone around me seeped into my conscience and I was helpless to stop it because I did not know where I began and they ended.

As it was, I am one who could walk into a room feeling just fine and if there was someone, stranger or familiar, who was depressed, in grief or whatever, I would be affected, sometimes deeply affected. While with family, etc I think I had somehow learned to shut it off most of the time, it was a psychic windstorm tossing me here and there and I thought I was going nuts ~ especially during my cycle times. It took me YEARS to understand that it was not me, but that my radar was picking it up. It was only then when an older sensitive told me she saw this in me that I was able to begin my own journey into accepting this empathic part of me, but I was quite ignorant of this ability and in my late 30's before I even heard anything about it. Without that, perhaps I would still be ignorant and in grief with misunderstanding as to who I am. And now I am seriously considering that my cycle affected me deeply because that was when I got into the most trouble, lol!

The reason your question is important is because younger women might be advised to figure out within themselves what is happening with their cycles. And I do hope folks like the woman's website above will help we older women so we can mentor and help our younger generations to understand and accept themselves. I often try to help those young women around me who I sense might have abilities and not know it or what to do with it. I am sure my grandmother was one, but she never accepted it because well ...it was "strange" and so she could not directly help me come into my own. Thus I never was able to fully use that talent where it might have done far more good and been tuned better. If I would have had someone like that who could help me integrate my empathic nature into who I was, I believe my life might have gone a whole lot smoother ...


So keep asking those questions. And seek out others who are older who know what you have going on psychically. Perhaps they can help you with how to close yourself off during those times.
Love
Cat In Seattle

I'm so glad I found Dr. Northrup's book. I have been grieving my periods for seven years. Mine started early and abruptly from a pharmaceutical "side effect". I still have anger about that. I certainly wasn't planning to have another child, so it was only about me. Cycles are about so much more than bleeding. Her book is helping me get beyond the anger and grief.

I am concerned about the women who are using the birth control that makes their periods last only three days. I get that as barbaric, demonic torture! I struggle most against those who would usurp Mother Nature. She has it figured out! It is our duty to follow her, not tie her up with chemicals!

I have been in a terrible funk since Thanksgiving. Shut off my friends and isolated at home. When I saw my gyn at the end of December, I asked her to put me on HRT because I was so tired and depressed I could not function. She advised me to see a psychiatrist! I hate doctors like that. I fired her and later got a certified letter that SHE was discontinuing our relationship. I have some very ugly thoughts about that. I was on HRT for about a year five years ago, and it helped me so much. I don't want to take it for the rest of my life. Things are so dry that her exam was excruciating. I was crying and screaming during it. She offered me NOTHING! But, see a shrink. Malpractice, me thinks.

So I went and bought my own hormone cream. I got Emerita's Phytoestrogen. After only a few days use, my nesting instinct is back! I knew something was terribly wrong with me, I didn't feel like doing anything. But I didn't realize that the NESTING was missing. Its' Back :D I have more energy. I have contacted several friends I haven't spoken to in over a month! I'm civilized again.

I, too, really want to see our generation change the way our culture deals with this subject. Life and it's cycles are to be honored and respected, and in doing so, we reap the multitude of rewards that come with this gift from the Life Force.

People like that should not be doctors or in charge of the care of any living creature!!!

It's your body you know what you need better than anyone else. I am glad you have finally found something that helps you. I have been learning more of herbal and natural medicine to help me with my PMS since I have trouble finding medications that don't contain things that I am allergic too, just plain do more harm than good, and I prefer the less toxic approach when ever possible. I over use advil for years which I believe is part of the reason I have so many digestive issues. It was just easier to take a couple tablets than really treat my pms especially since most docs push stronger meds than advil.

because I had a lot of water retention. But then I discovered Corn Silk, which is a natural diuretic.
a bit OT .. It was always obvious to me when I ovulated. I went through a period of years of intense pain during that time. It was usually brief but intense. Sometimes I went pale and sweaty, almost passing out. There are other more fun signs of the event. Most women are probably aware of it, aren't they? I really never asked.

These days I would try homeopathics for menstrual pain, just as I try to do for other pains. You know, that reminds me. I did begin to use Sepia, on the advice of my homeopath. I'm really embarrassed to admit this, but at that time, I could identify with snipers who get on roofs and fire randomly. That's sick. And a concern. Another symptom I had was tightness in my lower back. After Sepia, I felt like a heavy load had been lifted from my shoulders. The citizens of Las Vegas were safer that day.

edit: I have always believed that women are the better doctors. I've had great experiences. I mentioned to her that women usually care about other women's feelings. Not so in her case. She's about seven months pregnant and I hope she doesn't return to practice.

things like that help enough that most months I only need the heating pad at night. If dandelion root isn't enough I take one juniper berry capsul. It's much more potent so I don't take it unless I really need it. I used to take Kava until it was dropped from the market after some people had bad reactions. From what I could find it seems they already had liver trouble and took the extract form. I always try to take whole herbs which may not be as potent but probably is safer for it. I also try to stick to things either well studied or have a long history of common human use. Start with a low dose and don't mix unless again it is tested or commonly used. The one time I took a big dose of something while still within the directions I basically stopped my cycle with Yarrow. This reminded me it is wise to respect the power of herbs even ones dismissed as weeds.

I can't do homeopathics because they contains lactose and I have dairy allergy. And with my probable ibs I can't use any her ever used among other things to relieve constipation. This means no dong quai which is just about the most suggested thing for PMS. One of these days I plan to try vitex aka chaste berry which is supposed to be a good modulator of hormones http://www.herbs2000.com/herbs/herbs_chaste_tree.htm

a combination? I don't remember ever reading about these for pain. And juniper berries are excellent for pain?

You can get liquid lactose free homeopathics. One online supplier is >
http://www.elixirs.com/

Vitex is very good. I still use it from time to time. For herbs that I use more for nutritional support, oats, nettle, corn silk, etc., I prefer a tea form. If I need them for a specific issue, I like tinctures. Those are becoming more readily available in alcohol free products. Capsules are my last choice. There were times I took St. Johns Wort (hypericum) for PMS depression. I still use hypericum homeopathic preparation for some depression symptoms.

I'm such a plant lover, I wish I knew so much more about them.

Since my bod doesn't agree with dong qui for tea I often use yogi's mother to be tea ( http://www.amazon.com/Yogi-Womans-Mother-16-Count-Boxes/dp/B0009F3SF0 ) since most PMS/moontime teas have one type of angelica or another. The Mom to be tea's herbs are Organic Raspberry Leaf, Organic Peppermint Leaf, Organic Stinging Nettle Leaf, Organic Dandelion Leaf & Root, Organic Spearmint Leaf, Organic Anise Seed, Organic Cardamom Seed. All are good safe tonic herbs so I don't worry about drinking it all the time.

Dandelion is good for the liver and digestion plus is a gentle diuretic. It's liver healing helps the liver deal with the excessive hormones associated with PMS. If the Liver isn't happy no one is happy. More on Dandelion here:
http://www.herbs2000.com/herbs/herbs_dandelion.htm

Raspberry is the one that seems to help with the pain. Traditionally it seems regarded as a cure all or at least a help all for anything to do with the female reproductive system. http://www.herbs2000.com/herbs/herbs_raspberry.htm

Juniper is a diurectic but irritating to the kidneys so I only use it when I *really* need it and in the smallest does possible and then drink lots of water :) http://www.herbs2000.com/herbs/herbs_juniper.htm

Corn silk does not agree with my digestion but I know it works wonderfully as a gentle diuretic for others. When my Mom had a bad reaction to a cholesterol medication and started retaining water (among other problems) she tried this so she wouldn't have to take lasix (sp?). http://www.herbs2000.com/herbs/herbs_corn.htm

One of my favorite herb books is by Dr James Duke http://www.mothernature.com/Library/Bookshelf/Books/41/1.cfm

Some day I would love to have a little herb garden and grow a little of my own herbs. There is the small problem of me having a black thumb in spite of grandmothers both genetic and adopted who can make anything grow like weeds :p

I'm glad that you're starting to feel better.

:hug:

I would come home from school and cry for hours until my eyes burned and never understand why. I was diagnosed with various problems such as school phobia and being overly attached to my mother as I turned into a school refuser. I also found I could make myself sick in about 3 days time I would have a whopping sinus infection which at least gave me a few days off without having to fight and beg. Eventually it became too much for us all and my Dad pulled me out of school and I started getting tutoring one on one with a few teachers after regular school hours. I finally got someone in school who didn't treat me like I was just making everyone's life difficult just for the fun of it who had some tests done which showed i have a physical thing science accepts (Tactile Defensiveness) so they finally took me seriously instead of trying to get me sent to a special school for kids behaving badly usually because of henious abuse and neglect. My parents took me on a tour of that place once to get them to stop badgering us about it and it gave my parents the creeps. Then my fav cousin who was a dropout went back to school in adult ed so I started taking classes with her. It was so much nicer than regular school. Everyone was years older than me, classes were small, the teachers treated us as adults and i had my cousin that first year as my safety blanket.


It was back in school I noticed that during my moontime esp the first few days I felt like had no skin over my nerves. actually I felt like that most of the time but it was much worse. actually it felt like my nerves ended about 2 1/2 inches off my skin and all raw and exposed. Every emotion I picked up from others was like sandpaper on a wound. If someone was in a temper I felt like I was being sandblasted. Some people were prickly feeling in chronic crankyness. There were a rare few I could never pick up anything from. And put me in a movie theater and I would get high off the vibes there. I loved movie theaters because people only went there to be amused. My friends would threaten to never go out in public with me because at the theater I would be giggling uncontrollably as we waited for the movie to start. Once it started I would calm a bit as everyone focused on the movie so my friends never did abandon me :)

those of us who are sensitive are more aware, on the physical level also. It just goes with the territory.