Funny Smackdowns

So I was talking to a friend here and congratulating them on winning a DUZY this week (in fact I noticed several of our skeptical friends won DUZIES this week) But it seems to me that the people in this group are the masters of the hilarious put down/snark with the woos but almost never get recognized (as someone put it, I doubt they look at health for nominations and thats where some of my best work is). And I recall what Cosmik Debris said about how laughing at the silliness of the woos is our best weapon. I notice that its usually these snarks back to woos that make me laugh almost more than anything else here..
So I think it would be cool if you guys shared your favorite one-liners (without being overly specific of course) from here or elsewhere.

I know what mine are.First is the response R_A gave me when not long after finding this group I complained about the anti-Gardasil idiots and their lack of biological knowledge.specifically women spontaneously ridding themselves of HPV.and I got this suggestion "Now, visualise yourself ridding yourself of a virus.... then slap some sense into yourself with a wet tuna, and go and get the fucken vaccine."

:rofl: On of these days I AM going to use that in the Health Lounge...
Then there's the zombie bacteria/irradiated food thread..I have this bookmarked because the whole thread is just priceless:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x592557#593123

I have a new funny one though just recently..In response to people who think Athiests should keep their mouth shut R_A suggests that we should tell those people to play "hide and go fuck yourselves"....
:rofl:

What did response #9 say?

"You realize that zombies are make believe?
Just checking. "....
:rofl:
(It might be worth doing a temporary "unignore" there..its hilarious)

On one of those innumerable vaccines 'n autism threads, someone said, "I don't know if it's been proved, but why take the chance?" Orrex replied, "You're much more likely to be eaten by a shark the next time you ride the bus. Why take that chance?"

Sharks and other keystone predators are serious issues on public transportation.

Now go eat some zombie bacteria.

if they try to give you an MMR vaccine!

Geez, get with the program!

Surefire cancer cure, doncha know?


Boy, whoever came up with this sharks-on-a-bus joke in the first place is a genius!

of twisted genius, but they also have an unhealthy obsession with bad 80's pop music singers...I can only conclude that this person's mouth is full of teh evil dental amalgams, causing him untold mental problems.....:evilgrin:

:cry:

Oh! It's the chicks, isn't it?

I read the DUzys sometimes, and meh... for every laugh-out-loud comment, there are ten which barely raise a smile. Obviously, YMMV. But you know what will happen: your most brilliant barbs will be greeted by the sound of crickets, and then some lame comment you put no thought into will get a DUzy.

I don't know how the damn things are selected. A lot of the comments aren't funny at all. More than that, check the names and you'll see that a lot of them are...frequent.

I have a sicker sense of humour than the Duzy compiler.

P.S. I don't really give a shit about Duzies...I've clicked on them twice the whole time I've been here and haven't even searched my name. I could have a hundred of them and not even know it.

No doubt. To be honest, I guess I really want one to kind of give myself some validation.
Honestly I have struggled with infereriorty complex and self-esteem issues for much of my life.
I used to wonder, am I really that intelligent? Am I really witty or am I just imaginining it?
Funny thing about DU, is that it actually HAS made me realize that I am fairly intelligent (well practically a genius compared to the health woos, really;-) ) and hey, I have had enough feedback to realize, yeah, I can be witty too.
But sometimes, you know, I am still surprised to see anyone responding to my posts...:)

That being said, I still would like a DUZY...almost as much as I liked the card I got at work from my boss recently thanking me for my hard work in getting an important project done on time. Postitive feedback rocks!!

You have to persist in GD for a while to get attention. You'll never get one for posting in the more obscure groups.

I got one for this post responding to a whine about the opening day of deer hunting season.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=2329557&mesg_id=2329589

But I didn't get one for an even funnier post on the No True Scotsman Fallacy.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=214&topic_id=152661&mesg_id=152790

That's when I lost confidence in the whole DUzy affair.

So don't count on strangers for validation. We all think your slams are funny. Especially when you smack down philb or one of his sort.

Yeah, I know its kind of a popularity contest and I do find more validation in making someone in this group laugh.
However, I have become a bit of a lounge poster (well more because I enjoy pestering the hell out of Orrex:) ) tuning up my silly bone there.
But the sad part..."don't count on strangers for validation"... I do-- cause I sure as HELL can't count on my family supplying that....x(

But I really don't think RT is included in the Duzy contest.

Popularity is important as well, I think.

I'll tell you something....I thought I was pretty damn smart until I got into grad school. Grad school has a way of beating at your self-esteem. I did well enough (managed to publish two papers with my masters, and got my name on another one), but it didn't really help all that much.

I would actually look around at the other grad students, who were so good about reading papers and loved to talk shop, and would wonder what the hell was wrong with me. I was sure that they thought I was the dumbest one, because I'd rather spend my free time playing video games and hitting on girls then joining the journal club (yep, we had one). I also had grave doubts about my prowess at lecturing and seminars.

Wasn't until recently that I found out that many of them thought I was a stellar speaker and that my work was respected. A girl I know actually admitted that she thought we all thought she was dumb (which was the furthest thing from the truth).

Everyone has doubts, turtlensue.

Its been a realllllly bad week.....x(

I'm going to be applying to the post office while I wait to hear about job I applied for :cry:


Edit: Oh yeah, and thanks for the comment about my "healthy" ego. That's the first time my ego has ever been calling healthy :rofl:.

my field. Good luck with the job application.

Gotta be better than retail.

About 5x my maximum retail salary.

Anyone interested in knowing whether they have one can search in General Discusssion for posts by JeffR with their own username as keyword!

I got no results.

Meh :shrug:

On edit: Holy shit..I just checked his journal. On the first page, I had two of em. :rofl:

you have to change the date range so that it goes back further than one month, which is the default.

I know all this from checking the posting history of certain quacks!

I posted this in another thread here, but it fits the OP subject.

I had fun not long ago looking at a website for British pSyKiKs.

This exchange really tickled me:

Psychic BS'er: Prophet Mohamed says to me that the world shall be free of war and sufference by the year 3000.

Response: Can you please ask the Prophet about the year 4321 AD? I heard that something really nasty will go down that year and that makes me nervous. I would like to know some details about that year, not just vague rumors. Thanks.