Grieving Parents Find Comfort in Each Other

Grieving Parents Find Comfort in Each Other
Army News Service | Elizabeth M. Lorge | October 12, 2007


WASHINGTON - Losing a child in war is like losing an appendage, said two military wives and mothers whose sons have made the ultimate sacrifice in Iraq during the third and final Family Forum at the Association of the United States Army Annual Meeting Wednesday.

Retired Marine Sgt. Maj. David and Deborah Tainsh lost Sgt. Patrick Tainsh in Iraq in February 2004 when his convoy suffered an improvised-explosive device and rocket-propelled grenade attack outside the Baghdad Airport. Severely wounded, he fired over 400 rounds with two guns and waited until the battle ended before telling his commander of his injuries and dying. He received the Silver Star for his actions. Mrs. Tainsh immortalized their story in "Heart of a Hawk," a journey of healing.

Maj. Gen. (then Col.) Mark and Carol Graham's son Kevin was an ROTC cadet who committed suicide in 2003. His older brother Jeffery, already a lieutenant, was offered a stateside assignment, but he wanted to serve his country in Iraq. He died seven months after his brother, also in February 2004.

"I can remember so clearly that morning. I'd gotten up about five a.m., only to find on the internet that two Soldiers had been killed. I asked Mark if we would know by now if it was Jeffery or not. Deep in my spirit, I had a feeling it was him, but the rational side of my brain could not even begin to think that it could be our son. It could just not be true. Not again," said Mrs. Graham.

"I was well trained in deployments and support groups during my husband's career but sending a child to war is an experience that has no expression," said Mrs. Tainsh. "You have to be a parent to understand because parents give life to protect that life. We never expect our babies to go out to protect us. For us and those like us, our worlds have been changed forever."

She said they have lost the future: they'll never plan their son's wedding or have grandchildren. They've also grown apart from his fiancée, who was once like a daughter to them. They don't even put a tree up at Christmas anymore.


Rest of article at: http://www.military.com/features/0,15240,152533,00.html

spirit too.

It hurts.