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I come from a chemical dependency background. I have gone round and round with addicts and if you haven't debated with an addict about the reality of their chemical use or some aspect of the harm it inflicts, well you just really haven't had a debate yet. They learn all these "skills" of denying their problems, and continue to use them in all aspects of their life. So you either learn your own set of skills to deal with them, or they chew you up and spit you out in 30 seconds flat, and that's just for sport.
First, you never listen to their "junk", not ever. That's the back-up part. Then you focus your attention on the harm they've caused and demand it be cleaned up. That would the the reframe part. That's the two most important things to do, with ignoring their junk being the most important thing to do. You can stay lost in somebody else's addiction for years by trying to debate/reason/argue with their bullshit excuses and attacks.
Now, what you do from there depends on your own mental chess skill set and/or the knowledge you have about the issue at hand. If you're 100% confident in your ability to win, you go ahead and attack. (It really is necessary to get through to some people.)
If you're not, you skip the attack part and go straight to your own expectations and solutions. And then do it again, and again, and again.
So yeah, I think they've got it just about right. Ignore their junk, refocus on your own agenda, and attack AND/OR demand solutions.
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