Michelle Malkin: Anchor Baby

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Michelle Malkin: Anchor Baby
11 April 2006 by Mark

Watching Michelle Malkin's blog descend into the undeniable, historically-proven abyss of Fascism -- blaming an internal enemy for a nation's problems -- doesn't have to be all gloom and doom. Sure, she's unhinged. Sure, she's a mirror image of almost every enemy our country has ever fought against, cloaked only in a thin disguise of uberpatriotism. But we can still have fun at her expense.

And, of course, we should.

Having fun with neoconservative pundits is easy. All you need to do is spend five minutes researching one of their "hot button" issues and apply it back at them. Because inevitably you find out that their views never jive with their own actions. They never actually teach by example, or do the things they insist of others. The Jonah Goldbergs avoid real military service, the Anne Coulters plagiarize stuff, the John McCains make shady campaign deals, the Bill O'Reillies shove falafels into all kinds of strange orifices. It's like the rotation of the planets: completely and mathematically predictable. Betting men can make fortunes on this irrefutable reality.

So it behooves us, then, to poke around in Malkin's own backstory a bit to find blobs of truth which we can then stretch into gooey hilarity through the taffy pull of satire. It doesn't take long to find one such bit: Michelle Maglalang was the product of one Dr. Apolo Maglalang and his wife, who he inseminated during what can assume was a disgusting act of utter perversity. Doc Apolo -- sounds like a Marvel Comics villain! -- still works as a pediatrician in New Jersey. He came here on a "work visa" from the Philippines. Shortly thereafter, little Michelle was born, causing (one can assume) great pain as she violently stretched her mother's vagina to the breaking point. (I add that last bit of color commentary only because I know it will drive Malkin absolutely nuts to hear me talking about her mother's vagina, even if only in a clinical way.)

A cursory review of Doc Apolo's medical background comes up empty. He doesn't have any lawsuits pending against him, even though one could argue that conceiving a neo-Nazi* should probably be illegal. He hasn't any citations against him medically, and holds the required medical licenses, etc. But the timing of Malkin's birth is what's important. She was, in fact, what the Right likes to call an "anchor baby" or "jackpot baby":

-more

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the hypocrisy. But it sure is blatant, isn't it?

I'll remember that Michelle Malagulag is an "anchor baby" next time some Nazi brings up that Nazi talking point.

NT

Father Christmas, almost.

... and I'm not talking about "V for Vendetta"...

According to the facts, Doc Apolo arrived in the US under a work visa sometime in 1970, and Malkin was born "months" later, in October. Now it's conceivable that Doc Apolo arrived in the US in January, immediately knocked up the missus, and never intended on using the fetus as a convenience. It's conceivable, but unlikely. The window of opportunity there is just too small, and in all likelihood Doc Apolo arrived here with the full understanding that he was bringing with him a pregnant wife due to give birth sometime inside the term of his visa. But even if he didn't intend on little Michelle being a jackpot baby, the fact that he stayed in the US through October, rather than return to the Philippines like a good immigrant, means Michelle was a jackpot baby --- a fact which immediately granted Doc Apolo's caterwauling spawn legal US citizenship, and tossed a whole bunch of US rights into his family's lap.

What does Ms. Malkin have to say about "anchor babies"? Here's what:

During my book tour across the country for Invasion, this issue came up time and again. In the Southwest, everyone has a story of heavily pregnant women crossing the Mexican border to deliver their "anchor babies." At East Coast hospitals, tales of South Korean "obstetric tourists" abound. (An estimated 5,000 South Korean anchor babies are born in the US every year). And, of course, there's a terrorism angle.

Ouch. Okay, but Malkin's dad came over legally, right? So she's not technically an "anchor baby," is she?

Wrong. According to the Right-wing talking points on immigration, a baby born to immigrants here on work or travel visas is still an anchor baby, because the baby lubricates the "guest" worker's path to premature citizenship, and immediately heaps a load of Federal benefits on the baby-- all of which Michelle herself took advantage of, we can assume. Take a look:

Whole industries have now developed around abusing the Fourteenth Amendment. Pregnant Korean tourists come to the U.S. on travel visas to have their "anchor" babies. Coyotes dealing in human traffic are paid $1,500.00 to $25,000.00 per person to shuttle pregnant illegal aliens across our southern border. Our politicians and elites wink at this blatant law breaking and do nothing. The colonization of our country continues with the cooperation of our government. That means your senator and representative aid this illegal baby invasion. None dare call it treason. Most Americans mistakenly trust their politicians to do the right thing. Congressional members from every state betray that trust daily. (Link)

that she's a hypocritical blow-hard???

k & r