FINALLY A SAFE PLACE TO ATTACK JOHN KERRY: IF YOU DARE

THE DAY THE EAGLE CRIED

Once upon a time in the land of Chicken-Hawk Haven an eagle was born. Not long after he learned to fly, a war with some well-trained falcons broke out on the other side of the planet.

Falcons are seasoned fighting birds born into a war that constantly rages in their land but this is not a falcon story. Instead, this is a tale of the species Chicken-Hawkia, which only slightly resembles the birds of a feather cliché. Gold feathers adorn not just the wings but also the nests of one class of hawk, while the others have mostly tan or brown feathers. Of course the golden feathered Chicken-Hawks willingly welcome fine feathered eagle families into their nesting tree because hanging with eagles is sophisticated and stylish for the smaller raptors.

The bird wars seem unfair in retrospect because gold-feathered hawks started the trouble and then ordered the brown hawks to try and win the battles, often with dire consequences. In fact, high-class hawks, like eagles, did not have to fight at all and believe me MANY upscale Chicken-Hawks made that very choice.

Strangely, however, the Eagle DID decide protecting other birds was important enough to risk his life and proved to be a valiant, victorious fighter, until one day when his heart cried out war is wrong.

Slightly forlorn, the Eagle flew home only to be greeted by chicken-like cackles and crowish caws that he had not yet done enough to serve Birdom. Undaunted, the Eagle actually agreed and promptly picked up a sign to protest war and save hawk lives. Still, those haunting cackles raised his hackles by screeching not enough Eagle! NOT ENOUGH YET!

So the Eagle decided to serve Birdom again and lead his local flock in a way that was more fair than they actually deserved. He served many years in Birdington DC before once again nay saying cackles raised his hackles. NOT ENOUGH, NOT ENOUGH, they chirped.

You see, some 24K nut-case cackler had somehow snatched control of Birdom and he was quite tyrannical, considering 24K was one of the most cowardly Chicken-Hawks ever. Reluctantly, the Eagle stepped forward to run against the better financed bird in Hawk-idential elections. The Eagle would have gotten that top job handed to him years ago, like Chimp-Hawk, had he simply taken all those golden feathers powerful Chicken-Hawks offered him. Ole' 24K even owned most of the bird-media, including the New York, Fly-by-nightTimes.

With not only media against him but also a lot of public opinion, Eagle ended up using many personal feathers in the race. Considering 24K was an incumbent Chicken-Hawk dealing from his own stacked deck, so to speak, the Eagle flew pretty well. Still, the cheeping of Hawks split the night air with, "NOT ENOUGH, NOT ENOUGH EAGLE."

After an all night feather count in a very close race, tensions at the Eagles Nest ran high. Then, the outcome was revealed. From his frustration, Eagle screamed for a recount of the almost won contest. Eagle was not used to losing because he was a winner. His call was heard throughout Birdom but down at Bird-beach where 24K's bird-brained brother ruled, the count was already cast in stone. Still, Eagle watched patiently from his perch until all manner of breaches in birdism broke out. Then, Eagle flew home because he was very tired and sick that the very Birdom many of his comrades-at-wing had died to protect was now reduced to a vulture's buffet.

As Eagle flew away to a much deserved rest, he could still hear the cackles say, "NOT ENOUGH, NOT ENOUGH EAGLE" but will it ever be enough for every bird in the forest? While the Chimp-bird shows you can fool all of the birds some of the time and some birds all of the time, all Eagle proves is that some birds will screech, NOT ENOUGH anytime, no matter how much you give.