Am I too harsh to my Step Dad?

I'm not the most cordial writer in the bunch. Who knows how many people on DU have me on ignore, so at times I come across like an asshole. I believe in what I do, and sometimes that gets the best of me. My Step Dad is a very good person. He's not a racist, he doesn't think in hate radio terms. Never listens to Limpballs, and has a good head on his shoulders, and got genuinely pissed at Bush* (never liked him anyway) after F9/11. On e-mails though, he seems to turn his critical thinking cap off, and just passes on anything...most of which are right wing, or racist screeds without authors, or attributed to George Carlin, with appeals to "pass this on to everyone you know. If you don't agree, then you are a traitor and you should delete it and shut up and let us be in our fantasy world that everybody agrees with us that all brown people should stay in Mexico, because we cannot be questioned!" ...or something like that. He's gotten pissed at me (he never says it, but Mom told me) for cracking don on some of his previous pass alongs.

So, I get this one about how "These Senators voted to give Social Security tio illegal immigrants" when knowing that it's not that simple, and partly false, when you actually look at the legislation. I wrote a reply with the Snopes piece, and further wrote this...

As in most things, the issue is a lot more complicated than it appears, or can be simplified by by a reactionary e-mail started by someone far away, with no name attached, a month, or even a year ago. I'm not making excuses for these Senators, who most of them deserve to be thrown out on their asses, but this reason shouldn't be the catalyst.

You have been pissed that I respond to some of these with abrasive, or assholish language at times. I'm sorry if it offends you, and I could be quite a bit nicer. I just respect you enough to know that you are usually smarter than to just pass along what could be lies as a call to arms by others. I hope you can look at these with a critical eye, and maybe my verbiage is too much, but I honestly am not beating up on you, or calling you any names. It's just that sometimes, I read these things (and they're not only from you, *my uncle* is much worse with his Jesus saved an old lady but let everybody else die in a plane crash BS), and my blood gets boiling with what is obvious lies, or right wing propaganda, or subtley disguised racism. That you pass it on, makes me think that your not looking very closely at it, because I've known you long enough to know you are not really the person who would agree with some of this.

Who wrote it? Do you know? Is there any way to find out? Is what is said true? Is it an emotional appeal, or are there facts that can be looked up? This one... There's no Senate Bill number. There's no Senate phone number to call them and express our democratic rights to our officials (It's 1-866-SOBUSOB very easy). Why? If this is an important issue, then why couldn't they take a little more time to give us some facts to verify? Perhaps they didn't want us to find out, and were counting on our good will to take things at face value, or just didn't respect us enough and counted on us just swallowing their whole line without double checking. The website I linked to has many of these listed in there, and whether or not they're true. It's good to keep on your favorites list. The one focusing on e-mails is called "Inboxer Rebellion". It's good shit.


So... is he still going to hate me. I'll wait for 5 replies before I hit send.:scared:

What if you just email him real truth pieces every day, with a note to send to everyone you know? There's a lot of good stuff here.
As for your note to him, I don't think it's harsh. Maybe tough love, but it's how you feel, and it's the truth. If you care about him, he deserves to hear it from you.
I have a step-father too, who is a good and decent man, and when I have to say things to him that might hurt his feelings, I feel bad. I know how you feel.

NINE THOUSAND MILLION A MONTH! It is the difference between any alleged payments by the SS Admin. to illegals and the tab for the Iraq war. In short, he is focusing on the breakfast menu on the Titanic and you are focused on the iceburgs.

....not deserving of the respect you showed him. It's obvious from the reply you wrote that you not only respect but also love this person. I can find nothing wrong with it. In fact you paid him the compliment that you knew he was too smart to just take everything he sees/reads at face value. Very good imho :applause:

It's not harsh at all; it's a very thoughtful & respectful reply. I think the nice, personal words in regard to your feelings toward your stepdad will stand out more than the fact that you've disagreed with his e-mail. :)

It does have a name, but a Little Rascals character is not a real name. I added some more...

As in most things, the issue is a lot more complicated than it appears, or can be simplified by by a reactionary e-mail started by someone far away, with no name attached (Spanky? c'mon!), a month, or even a year ago, which includes a previous lie that's been proven wrong (Senators don't pay into SS. They do, and always have). I'm not making excuses for these Senators, who most of them deserve to be thrown out on their asses, but this reason shouldn't be the catalyst.

:kick:

Only 4 people don't have me on ignore?:cry:

a link that debunks the garbage or delete it. Very rarely, I send my own comments, but the problem is, they can send it but have hissy fits when anyone calls them on it....

My advice is to simply send on the snopes or whatever links show this to be wrong and leave it at that.

and trust me I have been, it makes us all stronger and better persons

:pals:...but I would save that email and sleep on it before sending it.
You sound like you were upset when you wrote it, although you make some excellent and well supported points.
You are also questioning the message, and not the messenger.
Good job!
Sleep on it, and see how you feel...you may decide you want to phrase things a bit differently.

Just my two cents...s'what I do when I REALLY NEED TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY CHEST :argh:
but I want to be taken seriously and DON'T want to be a total jerk about it.

on mass emailings. Sometimes there's political content -- like the one you've just described -- sometimes it's "inspirational" stuff or a list of jokes or the latest urban legend. It's always hard to know how to respond. Sometimes I imply delete a post without responding. Sometimes I do a "reply all" with a note to check out snopes.

Recently I had a rather vitriolic exchange of emails with a number of people because of something a cousin of mine sent me, and I did a "reply all" and a reference to snopes. It was amazing, and the first time ever that a number of people included in the original email found it necessary to send me hateful emails. I responded to a lot of them, and after a while realized I was best off simply ignoring and deleting them.

But in a case like this, where it's your step dad, I think you're essentially right in trying to get him to think about this, and to stop just passing on things that match his own biases without checking them out. Step dad is married to mom, right? How's she on all these things? Do you see them often?

We're in the midst of a very divisive era in our history, and all of us are running the very real risk of alienating or being alienated from our families over these issues.

from my rather naive niece. I just returned it with a link to snopes and "Or maybe this". To those who ought to know better I generally say, "don't send me this crap", and nobody does and nobody has disowned me, well except at DU!! :)