A Right-Wingers’ Guide to Left-Wing Wackos

This was inspired by a sudden idea last night that someone should make a Left-Wing Heroes counterpoint to the chickenhawk cards. Since that would be too derivative, I decided to take this tack instead. What do you think?

A Right-Wingers’ Guide to Left-Wing Wackos

Russ Feingold: Wacko who wants to censure Bush. How dare he take such a radical stand and advocate such a drastic step that does nothing? You can tell he’s doing it for political gain because of all the other lawmakers who are jumping on his bandwagon. Two whole co-sponsors!

Jack Murtha: Wacko who wants to cut and run from Iraq. What the hell does he know about combat? Also, he is going around condemning our Marines before they have been tried. Innocent until proven guilty, Murtha! Keep it up and we’ll lock you in Gitmo! (BTW, OJ was totally guilty.)

Michael Moore: Fat Hollywood liberal. Obesity, after all, like being rich, is only allowed if you are as dirty with your money as possible. Rich people and fat people are not allowed to be ethical. We are fairly sure that he wants to run for President someday. Hell, we’d nominate Mel Gibson.

John Kerry: Hopeless flip-flopper. He voted for the $87 billion before he voted against it. BTW, Senate Republicans should refuse to vote for any immigration legislation, no matter how important, unless Tancredo’s felony provision is preserved. Not that this has anything to do with what we just said about Kerry’s flip-flopping.

Al Gore: Screechy and unhinged or flat and boring, depending on the day. Also, have we mentioned he thinks he invented the Internet?

Al Franken: Absolutely the most far-out left-wing wacko on liberal radio. We can’t bring ourselves to listen to that crap. See also Randi Rhodes, Mike Malloy.

Randi Rhodes, Mike Malloy: Who?
Also, have we mentioned how far-out Al Franken is?

Harry Reid: He’s neither screechy nor far-out, so he must be corrupt. Quick, someone find something on him. C’mon.


Please add your own. :)

The Morans Guide to Left-Wing Wackos

But then, in my world, willfull ignorance is shamefull and wrong.

In America it seems, it's a point of pride.

apparently i should not quit my day job.

:hide:

Tragedy no longer suffices as comedy.

Bill Frist: Wacko who wants to lick Bushler's ass. How dare he take such a radical stand and advocate such a drastic step that does nothing? You can tell he’s doing it for political gain because of all the other lawmakers who are jumping on his bandwagon. Too wacko for president!



Donald Rumsferatu: Wacko who wants to kill more American soldiers in Iraq. What the hell does he know about combat? Also, he is going around condemning our Marines to certain death or injury by cutting their troop levels. Innocent until proven guilty, Rummy! Keep it up and we’ll lock you in Gitmo! (BTW, Ollie North was totally guilty.)



Rush Limpballs: Fat Oxycontin Fascist. Obesity in rich piggies, after all, is only allowed if they are as dirty with YOUR money as possible. Rich people and fat rich people do not have to be to be ethical. We are fairly sure that the Fat Nazi Lizard wants to run for Supreme Asshole someday. Hell, we’d prefer to nominate the Antichrist.



George Dumbya Bushler: Hopeless flip-flopper. He voted for protecting the USA then he voted against it because his buddies want to become rich from fear-mongering. BTW, Senate Republicans should refuse to vote for any immigration legislation, no matter how important, until certain law-breaking republicans are put in prison. Not that this has anything to do with what we just said about Bushler’s flip-flopping, but since Right-Wing Wackos love Red Herrings and the Strawman... ;)



Ann Coulter: Screechy and unhinged or flat and boring, depending on the day. Also, have we mentioned he has a HUGH1! Adam's Apple?



Sean Hannity: Absolutely the most far-out right-wing wacko on neo-nazi radio. We can’t bring ourselves to listen to that crap. See also Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, and Rash Limpballs.



Dennis Miller: Who?



Rick Santorum: He’s a screechy far-out, and corrupt. Quick, someone find something on him. C’mon.



Also, have I mentioned how much I hate these creatures?



:D

I avoid FOX and go on DU for this very reason.

that was way too tongue-in-cheek for a GD posting.


now if i could just keep my knee from jerking.

Guide for the Liberal/Progressive Left covering Key Righ-Wing Anti-American**-Wackos.

**Where Anti-American in this case means: attempting to overthrow the U.S. Government by having covertly taken control of one of two primary political parties with the objective of destroying the existing Democratic Constitutional Republican form of government and then replacing it with a new type of government (combining elements of Aristocracy, Corporatism, Oligarchy, Oligopoly, Christo-Fascism (Christian Theocracy + Fascism), and Totalitarianism/Despotism/Absolutism/Authoritarianism etc).

Alas, I can't seem to discover proper words for either the subversive behavior of our ruling elite or even a word to describe the Christo-Fascist Aristo-Coroporatocratic form of government they seem to be trying to create...