Do you let your kids use MySpace?

More and more stories like this keep popping up. I was wondering if parents are having any concern with this MySpace phenomenon that seems to have grown into a haven for sex offenders...

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DETROIT - A 16-year-old girl who tricked her parents into getting her a passport and then flew to the Mideast to be with a man she met on MySpace.com has returned to Michigan.

U.S. officials in Jordan persuaded Katherine R. Lester to turn around and go home before she reached the West Bank. Lester arrived at Bishop International Airport in Flint late Friday and was taken to a private area to be reunited with her family.

She disappeared Monday after talking her parents into getting her a passport by saying she was going to Canada with friends, sheriff's officials said.

She apparently planned to visit a man whose MySpace account describes him as a 25-year-old from Jericho, Undersheriff James Jashinske said.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060610/ap_on_re_us/myspace_mideast_trip;_ylt=AhSnE4lxkREiARMe53VokN9vzwcF;_ylu=X3oDMTA0cDJlYmhvBHNlYwM-

That story has little to do with Myspace and a lot to do with insanely stupid parents.

My daughter does use MySpace. She doesn't "go to Canada with friends." A passport? For Canada?

We don't need a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. We need a Constitutional amendment to ban idiotic parents.

I could not agree more!

:hi:

I find it disgusting that people blame problems like this on the internet instead of crappy parenting. Yeah, I went places in HS and I told my mom I was somewhere else, but I didn't FUCKING FLY TO JORDAN! It's one thing if you're kid says they're hanging out a friend's house, but they went into NYC with friends. It's a whole 'nother ballgame when the kid flies to Jordan and you don't know. It's not like you pay a $7 bus ticket to go to Jordan.

As part of new Vaterland Security regulations to go into effect later this year, you'll have to show a passport in order to return to the U.S. from Canada. Remember, "9/11 changed everything"... :eyes:

Oh, I can already see that conversation with border patrol in my head. I can't come back? Well, thank gopod for small favors.

Any good prices on land in Canada anyone knows about? I may be seeking to purchase.

Ya know, I try, I really, really try to be a patriotic American(tm), but these bastards in charge sure as hell make it difficult.

we are taking a trip in July to check it out.

Here is a good link....http://www.mls.ca/map.aspx

And yes I have to get passports for my sons before we go.

My eightysomething, proud-to-be-a-Luddite mother (who has used a computer once in her life and hated it) has an unerring ability to pick up every story from daytime talk shows about children lured into pornography/prostitution/whatever via the Internet, and is sure to tell me all about them, along with how "dangerous" computers and the Internet are for children. It's as if every kid who surfs the 'net is likely to wind up as the drugged sex slave of a pedophile ring. :eyes:

Since there are many (particularly among those who dislike computers from the start) who seem to share that opinion, I have to wonder -- if Oprah or Dr. Phil had a show about a bunch of "nice, suburban" high-school girls were making money running a phone-sex operation, would that be "proof" of what a horrible influence telephones are, and how no one under 18 should be allowed to use them without a parent listening in? :crazy:

One will need a passport for Canada at the end of this year. There is talk of creating a cheaper card but that has gone no where. So getting a passport for Canada isn't as absurd as it sounds to you.

The passport to Canada was the least absurd thing about that story.

No reason we should exempt the neighbors, and no reason they should exempt us.

I grew up near the border; my parents let me go to Mexico with friends on a fairly regular basis.

Still, not the brightest of families. Child definitely reflects the parents.

Not yet ... only because many border citie's have been throwing political fits. There has been a lot of action to require passports ... the status of the plan is in limbo and many are confused.

I posted this as an aside ... I can't fathom what the heck these parents were thinking (in this case not thinking).

My daughter uses Myspace, with the understanding that I need to be aware of whom she is communicating with (she's 12 and we review her space together).

I have it blocked. We monitor our children's online activities pretty heavily.

To not only know what your daughter is doing online but to also not know where she's flying internationally.

but you are right - GOOD LORD MAN!!! GET A GRIP ON YO' KID!!!

I'm afraid I might accidentally meet my daughter while I'm stalking young girls. How embarassing would that be?

:rofl:

AS SOON AS I STOP LAUGHING :D

MySpace is a large place where people interact...like a shopping mall.

I trust my 15-year-old son to go to the mall because I believe he understands what I expect of him.

Likewise, I'd trust him on MySpace.

...is how did she pay for the flight? I doubt a 16 year old has over $1000 laying around somewhere.

That's usually how it works.

...is how did her parents not verify where she was going and who she was staying with before they let her go?

her parents are divorced and I think the Mom was working two jobs
and wasn't aware that the daughter even had an acct. there.
The daughter is the class valedictorian.
Smart girl but naive'! What 14 yr. old isn't?
:shrug:

The problem with myspace is the information kids put out there. its really easy to forget WHO is reading these pages, its just not kids in your school, your friends. ITS ANYONE.

If you have kids with myspace, check and see if they list their hometown, the school they go to, the GRADE they are in. Most kids write messages talking about where they are going to be at a particular time.

It could be harmless enough, but i found my cousins myspace, with her name, age, school, and extracurlicular activities as well as WHERE SHE WORKED.

On my own myspace, i have taken off my hometown instead to just list my state, and i never post current places of employment.

My kids are too young still, but if they want to use the site when they're older I probably will let them -- with one caveat... no private information.

You have to make sure your kids aren't giving out information.

Good kids put out too much information. They just dont think about it, because what it is is like a social club, so you want to post what you are doing. They just think its them and their friends. Its not, its everyone else, even cops troll myspace.

...don't trust your kids with technology that's way over your head.

My son's 15 and a computer geek, but I still know a LOT more than him. I know what to warn him about and HE knows that if he screws up, he can't cover his tracks...I'll find out.


All in all, it's worked pretty well for us.

...for a while I had her believing I knew everything she did or said on the internet. One day after I allowed her a little alone time with the computer I asked her if she had run across anything interesting. It took a while but she eventually told me about the porn site they'd stumbled on while doing research on Victorian fashion for a school project. Since I had already reviewed the internet cache I knew what they'd found - and how quickly they were flipping through pages trying to get out of the site (about 30 slides in 10 seconds).

That illusion fell apart a couple of years later when she asked me to retrieve an IM conversation she'd had with a friend a day earlier....but it was a nice illusion while it lasted.

That said, I agree that its mostly about parenting and your relationship with your child - BUT even though my daughter is very reliable and I trust her fairly completely with use of the internet - she is not allowed to have an account on Myspace. It's not her I don't trust - but the slimeballs who troll there. I spent far too much time counseling rape survivors not to have a grudging respect for the skill with which molesters can manipulate even very intelligent kids/teens. At nearly 16 she still needs a few more years of experience before she's ready to be left alone with that kind of evil.

(which yours certainly seems to be)


I'm taking issue with the uninformed "MySpace is bad and parents shouldn't let their kids go there" crowd.

:hi:

And any parent who lets a teen loose on the internet without having visited myspace to inform him or herself should have his or her head examined. And after the visit, whatever the decision about letting the teen use myspace, there needs to be some serious conversation about internet safety - informed by whatever the parent will inevitably discover on myspace. (There are other places to learn about what not to do on the internet - but its pretty concentrated on myspace - a good way to get an instant and thorough lesson.)

... things that make the parenting job EASIER, and other things that make the parenting job HARDER?

Or is there just no such distinction, because "it's all about parenting?".

If there IS such a distinction, which side would myspace fall on? (And why?)


I take the above as being a CHARITABLE interpretation of the OP's question, as opposed to some of the uncharitable-apparently-aimed-simply-at-showing-up-the-OP replies.

i have been in there a handful of times for different threads at du and other reasons, when i am directed. and it is just not someothing i want to have to miss with, with my boys. tooo much stuff that isnt appropriate.

Sure, his not driving would make parenting "easier", but I'll give him ample training and trust that he follows direction.

I can't protect him from everything, not do I want to. I CAN, however, allow him to experience things from a position of understanding. That's what I consider one of the jobs of a parent. Educate your kids (and, occasionally surreptitiously monitor them) but let them experience things.

Though I'm kind of outside the main demographic, I know quite a few others in their late 20s/early 30s who use MySpace as well.

My kids are still young and I have boys, if that matters. But like all the others have said - this is not about MySpace. This issue is about parental vigilance and awareness. When I was in high school I tried to skip school and sneak off to the nearest big city for the day, about an hour and a half away. I even got busted doing that. :rofl:

Parents need to pay attention. I am empathetic to parents being busy and am aware that teenagers can be pretty sneaky when they want to be, but I have no idea how a kid could go out of the country without their parents having a clue!

I have lots of "friends" who have similar music interests. You can "google" your favorite obscure 60s artist and lots of people-matches come up. Exchanging notes can be enlightening. Sure lots of teens have "added me" as a friend - some with provocative home pages. Havent run across any sex offenders yet, but I'm pretty sure I may have been "baited" by cops posing as 15 yr olds with horny come-ons. I envision Alberto Gonzales in some dirty basement room standing behind a mustachioed detective as he types away. (Call me paranoid as I know Bush would NEVER allow this type of activity).

there too. I was invited to join from a movie discussion board I frequent on IMDB.

and be back by three, as the bell rang. the school would call after three to ask parent if absence was excused. i jsut made sure i answered the phone, lol. i think it was much easier three decades ago.

I'd rather be out of that crowd.

I had a MySpace account for about 6 months and the whole high-schooly "ooh how popular and outrageous can you be" thing is just as lame now as it was when I really was in high school.

I think the site's a waste. That said, I also think in this case particularly, and similar ones generally, the parents are definitely at fault for not knowing WTF their kids are up to. I mean, c'mon. :freak:

...I ended up finding a bunch of people I used to know from high school and college who I hadn't seen in a long time! That's like, a big draw for older people there.

my band has booked a large percentage of our gigs through myspace. it's also great for discovering new music. (almost) every band or solo artist in existence has a myspace page with music on it. there's a lot of good stuff on there, and of course, a lot of crap too.

We'd love to play your band on our station; here's our URL:

http://www.radioenigma.com

We'll add you ASAP...

I don't let them do anything. They make their own decisions.

They have used Myspace to stay connected with classmates, promote bands, send birthday greetings, blah, blah, blah.

Kids who fall for predators are kids who get too little parental attention and supervision.

My youngest does not have Myspace, but I always warn him when he's on Lego.com that some of the other kids might be 60-year-old men with beer guts. He laughs and doesn't mind that I hover over his shoulder.

If you can't take some time for your kids why have kids?

The people in Detroit are smarter, we teach our kids about strangers, and the internet. People in the burbs shelter their kids.

She's from a tiny town in Tuscola County. That's the next county over from mine so I know a bit about it. Very rural, very poor, lots of farmers and Amish people. I'm honestly not too surprised that a kid from there would be less than street smart.

Remember a few summers ago when we kept hearing about people getting attacked by sharks, and it turned out that there wasn't really an unusual number of shark attacks, it's just that the media got into a habit of covering them? I think it's like that.

It's a huge site; there'll be weird stories due just to it's scope.

The reporters keep failing to mention that according to Myspace rules nobody under 16 is allowed...of course it's easy to lie about your age, but the point is that if parents don't make themselves aware of what Myspace is and what the rules are, you can't really blame the site itself for what happens.

I'm in college, and I've found mySpace to be very useful for keeping up with current and old friends, and improving my writing skills...heck, I've even learned some html code so that I could personalize my page. I realize that there are risks in using it, but for me, the benefits outweigh them.

I am old (50's)and have an account just to see if I can find some friends that I've lost track of. Plus, as someone mentioned, people with like interests gather there. This definitely is a case of parents having their heads up their butts! How their kid got out of the country without them knowing it is indicative of parents not paying attention.

JG

One is age 32, the other 27.


:shrug:

i don't think it is an healthy environment and there is plenty for the kids to do on the net, they dont need to tangle themselves up in that site. they are still young. but they pretty much know what i will allow and if i find they go somewhere they know i won't like i yank computers out of house. but what i have seen of the site, i don't like.

access on the internet, mostly because she doesn't know they exist, she can also only watch pg movies and play e for everyone video games. I worry, can't help it but i'd like her to be her age and not try and act older.

i have also found it incredibly easy. since they were the littlest to understand, from powergilrs (always angry) to ed ed and eddy (honoring stupid) to pokeman (not cause bad but they manipulate children for a need to suck parents dry).

i could explain to the children why we did not watch some things other parents allowed kids to watch. made sense to the kid. now my oldest is 11 and he sees what culture is doing inmanipulating outh and will not watch on his own, and come talk to me about why it is bad, what is happening.

but that is my feeling too. i dont need my children to be learning beyond their years. i would prefer they did it in the natural course of their timetable

Part of good parenting is monitoring what your kids do online. The internet can be a very dangerous place. And you are basically your kid's only safety net.

Make your profile private.
Add only friends you know directly.
Share your password with me.

the game board my youngest is on has all messages to him come to my email. i like

And our teen's computer is located right in our living room -- not much privacy for her there, but, it works for us!

i like. gives me all the info, what they are denied, ect.... and the reasons why

She's a single mom with 2 girls and she works a lot. So she can't really watch every second they are on the computer. But she got really concerned because she found out some guy was sending one of her daughters some pretty perverted e-mails.
So I helped her set up a program that sends her an e-mail of where the girls are going or tried to go and who they are chatting with. She says it is working out really well and relieved some worries and stress she had since seeing those e-mails.

... plus the only online access for the children is in our living room.

the worst thing I could do as a kid was to tell a lie. Though of course I did tell "small" ones, the day to day kind about what my friends and I were up to (which amounted simply to juvenile stuff like trying cigarettes, peeking at old anatomy books at the genitalia), but the idea of breaching the trust that they had in me by actually leaving the country while telling them something else? I guess growing up in the "old-fashioned" way, of doing things AS A FAMILY--weekend family outings like bird-watching hikes, picnics at state parks (sounds real cornball now, but boy do I miss that, back in the early 60s)--we were a unit (3 kids) and the idea of lying to each other would have been unimaginable. My parents trusted me, we trusted them, and we were open with each other and I would have rather died than destroy that.

Kids are growing up too fast. After age 13, they no longer want to hang out with their parents. They no longer want to go on family vacations. They start disrespecting their family. Suddenly their friends become the most important thing in their life. And if they hang out with the wrong friends, that's where trouble begins to brew.

My co-worker was telling about his daughter. About how when she was little they were like best friends. Now today, she's 15, and acts like she doesn't even want to talk to him anymore. Rolls eyes, ignores him, etc...
If I were to do that to my dad when I was little, i'd be in deep sh--! Times have changed I guess.

my oldest adventured into a little of the mouthy. about a week into hangin out at the pool we came to the observation of the kids behavior to parent and attitude of control with parent, and parent allowed it. i told son, yawl even try that you will end up on your ass......(i dont hit my kids, i would certainly handle it in my way, and they know it). out of all the different groups, econimic, racial and religion that kids have hung out in, the rich children are by far the self absorbed and centered, out of control, rude children i have seen out of them all. summer after summer, it is a whole new wake up call to me and surprises me everytime.

it doesnt have to be that way, but something i have noticed in children tv is the continual lessons and examples reinforcing that kids are NOT suppose to like hanging out with their parents. that they are suppose to roll their eyes. my kids and i talk about how the children shows reinforce this fro kids today, and it does not have to be that way. wasnt in the family i was raised in, and it wont be in mine.

they are still in it, as I have morphed into a crotchety old hillbilly, but my middle and youngest four - 17-22 never mind spending time with me.

They are almost always respectful in public (some of the time in private;) ), they encourage me to try new things. We share the same friends - young and old - and we have played on stage together, travelled together, gone to parties together, attended funerals side by side, voted together, worked together, put up campaign signs together, laughed and cried together.

I'm wrong as much as they are in day-to-day life.

It's not a good idea to generalize about "kids today." People were wrong when they did it in 1806 and they are wrong when they do it in 2006.

Most of the young people I know are pretty decent people. I can't always say the same about my same-age peers.

so do I or I did until some freak guy kept messaging me. He was really creepy.
But I didn't post any personal info there.
I deleted my account for lack of use but my son's all use it.

It is the parents NOT keeping a watchful eye on young teens that are the problem!
I checked my youngest son's account. He won't even post a pic! lol
And he has a screenname. He doesn't use his real name or any correct personal info..

and they are old enough to protect themselves.
My youngest is 17 yrs. old.

i dont think it is indicitive of retarded though, in innocence, inexperience and naivity.

$0.02.

:eyes:

AG REILLY DEMANDS CHANGES TO MYSPACE.COM WEBSITE TO PROTECT TEENS FROM ONLINE PREDATORS
Calls on website to take immediate steps to be
May 2, 2006
CONTACT: MEREDITH BAUMANN
(617) 727-2543

BOSTON -- Attorney General Tom Reilly is demanding that MySpace.com, the popular social networking site, make dramatic changes to its web site to ensure the safety of minors who use MySpace.

In a letter to company officials, AG Reilly demanded that MySpace increase its minimum user age from 14 to 18 after an investigation he launched in March 2006 revealed that MySpace does not have sufficient safeguards in place to protect children from sexually explicit and other inappropriate content.

AG Reilly's investigation also raised concerns that potential child predators use MySpace to locate and communicate with possible victims and that MySpace is also used to post violent images or content to bully or threaten children.

"MySpace allows 14 and 15 year-olds to register as members of its 'community' and claims to be able to protect their safety," AG Reilly said. "Our investigation revealed that these measures are not effective and do not protect children from being exposed to inappropriate content they just shouldn't see."

AG Reilly called on MySpace to improve the safety and security of its site by:

* Instituting an age and identity verification system;
* Equipping every MySpace page with a "Report Inappropriate Content" link;
* Responding to all reports of inappropriate content within 24 hours;
* Increasing significantly the number of employees who review images and content on the MySpace website;
* Implementing filtering technology that effectively blocks sexually explicit or violent images;
* Immediately deleting any profiles that violate MySpace's Terms of Use Agreement and permanently banning those members from using the site;
* Immediately removing all advertisements and other MySpace sponsored content that are inappropriate for children; and
* Offering free, downloadable software that allows parents to block use of MySpace.

AG Reilly's staff met with MySpace in March 2006 to discuss their concerns with how the website operated. Although MySpace maintains that only members under the age of 18 can view the profiles of members ages 14-15 years old, AG Reilly's investigation found that MySpace does not have any system in place to verify its members' ages. As a result, an adult can register as a minor member and use that profile to seek access to the profiles of countless underage members.

AG Reilly's investigators were able to register as minors 14 and 15 years old. The investigators were then able to gain access to numerous profiles of children between the ages of 14 and 17 years old.

The investigators also discovered that any user, regardless of age, can browse the MySpace website and find forums where children are posting messages. In these various forums, adults can not only view the child's picture, age, and hometown, but they can also communicate with the child.

AG Reilly criticized MySpace's own content on its website for contributing to the exposure of children to inappropriate content and communications. For example, the investigation revealed that MySpace regularly advertises 18+ "Intimate Dating" sites in its "High School" forums. During the investigation, MySpace's own search parameters allowed 14 and 15 year olds to search the site for "swingers" or designate themselves as "smokers" or "drinkers" in their user profiles.

AG Reilly's Office has become a known and respected resource on the ever-evolving world of the Internet, particularly as it relates to child safety. Since taking office, AG Reilly has devoted unprecedented resources to protecting Internet users and has dedicated staff specifically to education and training efforts.

As part of an effort to enhance parental awareness of online safety for children, AG Reilly's Office is leading a series of workshops throughout Massachusetts to educate parents about the dangers that children face when using the Internet. Today AG Reilly will conduct an Internet Safety program for parents in Weymouth warning them of the potential dangers that exist when their children use the Internet. In an April sting operation, AG Reilly charged six people for allegedly using the Internet to possess or disseminate child pornography.

AG Reilly has also worked to make the Internet safe for consumers, recently publishing a revised Consumer Guide to the Internet that provides parents with tips on how to make their children's online activities safer. Safety tips also describe how to avoid identity theft and so-called "phishing" schemes

http://www.ago.state.ma.us/sp.cfm?pageid=986&id=1664

Note to mods: Full transcript posted as it is a press release and not copyrighted material. Highliting is mine.

Using My Space is now part of growing up! I teach my kids not to talk to strangers on the street. Do the same with the internet. My kids have PC's in their rooms. I trust them! They are always coming to me with these "Oh this one poster said!" stories. They know who to look out for. And if they are going to start really getting close to someone, they have me check them out first. I will post as if I am them and see what the guy is up to. This has worked pretty good so far. It gets my kids to trust me and I get to know who they are interacting with. Sometimes it feels like I am spying on them, except they know about it.

You can set it so that only people that you have listed as friends can see your profile. If you are worried about your kids' safety on myspace, tell them that they need to set it so only friends can view their profile and only friend people that they know in real life.