9/11 widow: Don't judge

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/427727p-360655c.html

9/11 widow: Don't judge

Says Father's Day is toughest for family


I am not a "harpy." I am not a "witch." I have never taken a moment's pleasure from my husband's death on Sept. 11, 2001.
What I am is a "9/11 widow." I am a mother of three, and I dread today - Father's Day - more than any other.

For four straight years, Father's Day has been a raw reminder of what I - and thousands of women like me - lost on that cloudless Tuesday morning almost five years ago.

Today, I will watch my three beautiful daughters and be amazed at their resiliency - and how their lives honor their father every single day. Of course, I will also think about what we might have been doing today as a family - what we should be doing today. A barbecue, probably, or maybe a day at the beach with Dad. Today, the hole in my heart will grow a bit bigger.

...

This is my fourth Father's Day of being angry because thousands of kids have no father, thousands of women have no husband. But this year I'm also angry about being judged. Angry that people are telling me how, and how not, to grieve. I want people - especially those who think it's okay to reduce our situation to an unflattering one-word stereotype - to know that our families still struggle to get by. That some days are harder than others. That there is no single, easy or "right" way to get through what we must endure.

So before you pass judgment, again, I ask: Does anyone want to trade places with me today?