Survey finds women approve of abusing men

More than half of women questioned at a Glasgow university said they approved of wives hitting their husbands.

The Glasgow Caledonian students were among 6,500 women surveyed from 36 universities for an international study into attitudes on domestic violence. Of the 200 women, 60% said it was acceptable for women to hit their husbands while 35% admitted assaulting their partner.

Among European students, only English women were more likely to have carried out assaults, with 41% admitting that they had punched or kicked their partners.

Worldwide, more than 4,800 female students approved of assaulting their partner and 2,000 admitted to pushing, shoving, slapping, throwing objects and twisting their partner's arms or hair.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/5092100.stm

for two years. It was horrible. :-(

I have known several battered husbands: their situation is not pretty because, of course, it could never, ever happen that a woman would physically abuse her husband. The man is always, ALWAYS at fault.

I have seen them cart away Women for hitting their husbands, scratching their husbands, so it is working both ways these days....

He was pulling her hair and she turned around and slapped him, He called the police and they took her to jail for spousal abuse.

She shouldn't have worn the skimpy dress.. been out at night..
When you see the STATISTICS of how many women are battered it is scary.It means MEN need to look at their attitudes.Their position of privilege and quit abusing power.

You might not hit women other men might not either and this is good but there are many men that DO do it and some even brag about it.History is filled with violence and men do alot of it..And Many women that can't cope with it.And sociopath in general is on the rise.There are woman sociopaths.And it's ugly.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, from 25% to 50% of all women in heterosexual relationships are abused. The Surgeon General has reported that battering threatens the lives of more women than rape, cancer or car accidents combined..
http://womenscenter.virginia.edu/sdvs/domestic/myths.htm

Think about it 25% to 50% fucking percent..!!
Look also at how violent movies,music and TV shows are twords women it sells for a reason.Violence to women is everywhere!


So that said..what is the percentage of men being battered by women,Do you know??
Police and court records in the USA consistently show that 5 percent of men are victims of domestic violence (Dobash et.al), expressing the need to consider men's experience of violence by a female partner.
http://www.xyonline.net/Maleviolence.shtml

5 percent!! 5!!
Compare the stats..5% men getting abused by women VS 25%-50% of women being battered by men. That means 1 in 2 or 1 in 4 women you see everyday could be beaten .
Who is more likely to get the shit kicked out of them from a spouse? WOMEN.

Women need more help and resources out there because more women are being hurt by men. Men need resources and help when they get hurt in a battering situation too..Battering women are just as dangerous as men batterers either way ALL Domestic violence HAS to end.As well as this cultures domination,objectification elitism and sexism.
PLease don't play games with domestic violence realities,because we DO live in a patriarchy that is getting more noxious to women by the day..I am so very sad that a woman hurt you,it's wrong And I hope you are safe and got away. I hope every abused person in a domestic violence situation gets out and heals..

Since it is usually male-on-female violence, ALL men must adjust their attitude because of the horrible actions of a few. The small numbers of abused men mean they can be dismissed as irrelevant. That seems to be the point you are making.

You say that five percent of all men get battered by women: that is about 1,4786,706 men in the United States using the latest census estimates. Do you really mean to say that almost one and a half million people being abused can be dismissed as irrelevant? How very, very sad for you.

Edit: Restated my paraphrase, as the original was incorrect.

nt

What she did is prove that more women are battered than men... period.

She also did not say that battered men should be ignored, in fact, she said that battered men deserve access to help.

What she DID say is this: there are still millions more women abused in this patriarchal society than there are men and that's a fact.

There was no bullying of men, literally or figuratively, in her post.

It means MEN need to look at their attitudes.Their position of privilege and quit abusing power. (sic) The poster repeats that theme in several ways and uses the greater number of women abused by men to dismiss as "play{ing} games with domestic violence realities" the fact that according to the statistic she herself provided amost one and half million men in this country have been abused by women and the fact that one in every twenty men will, at some time in their lives, be abused by a female intimate.

I did overstate my paraphrase, however, and have corrected it.

Women need more help and resources out there because more women are being hurt by men. Men need resources and help when they get hurt in a battering situation too..Battering women are just as dangerous as men batterers either way ALL Domestic violence HAS to end.As well as this cultures domination,objectification elitism and sexism.

She didn't say that battered men were irrelevant. She said they weren't as common or as likely, and so the collection/condition of battered men is less in need of resources than the collection/condition of battered women. She didn't say these men didn't matter or were irrelevant.

That was my point. She never once said battered men don't need help - in fact, she said the opposite.

She asserted a grossly disprorinate rate while the most current studies show its much closer to even. Not that it excuses domestic violence of any kind.

I also said I hope you got out and are safe now. I said battering is WRONG.
I also said women that batter men need to stop it.. and I was sad for you and the other battered men..All domestic violence needs to end.
Funny how you just omitted that part of my reply..Why did you do that?

Was it because I also mentioned how men cause a disproportionate amount of domestic violence and the media supports patriarchy and depicts violence twords women as 'entertainment" Just watch a SUV episode ..Almost every time a woman is killed..or raped or abused. All crime shows feature battered,raped, or killed women..Why? It sells.. to WHOM? Men.

But I also showed how.. 5 percent is less than 50 percent

I gave you statistics,Apparently it's the numbers you don't like.. Sorry 50% of men are not victims of domestic violence .It's 5 percent of men who are.Don't get "hysterical" on me ok?
That's what SOME men say to women when they get upset you know.

So,if YOU are one of those five percent, I will say to you,like I would say to ANYONE who went through domestic abuse.. I hope you are safe now if not GET OUT..AndI hope you heal and stay away from bad relationships and learn to recognize the red flags of an abuser and stay far away from them..

It means MEN need to look at their attitudes.Their position of privilege and quit abusing power.

PLease don't play games with domestic violence realities,because we DO live in a patriarchy that is getting more noxious to women by the day

Reading this as a man who has been in abusive relationship myself, what I see you saying is: men are inherently abusive, and they are the only ones who need to "look at their attitudes." I find that offensive in the extreme, and no different at all than saying that, just because some women are {insert rude word meaning "female dog" here}, all women are inherently {female dogs} and should "look at their attitudes." Stereotyping is nothing more than naked bigotry, no matter who you stereotype.

Also, please be aware that the 5% statistic you quote is misleading. Women are less likely to be physically abusive than men, but are much more likely to be emotionally abusive than men. Studies which have investigated the occurance of emotional abuse (I will do some research and find cites) show that some 25% of men suffer physical and/or emotional abuse from women intimates (wives, girl friends, etc.) As I am sure you know, emotional abuse can be far damaging that physical abuse.

No one is saying that resources should be taken away from the very real harm being done by men who abuse women. But don't you dare try to shut up people who mention the very real harm being done by women who abuse men, and don't you dare make all men out to be abusers just because some men are.

It means MEN need to look at their attitudes.Their position of privilege and quit abusing power.

PLease don't play games with domestic violence realities,because we DO live in a patriarchy that is getting more noxious to women by the day

<Reading this as a man who has been in abusive relationship myself, what I see you saying is: men are inherently abusive, and they are the only ones who need to "look at their attitudes.">

I never said ALL MEN are abusers.
I said ALL men do have a social privilege in this culture. And men abuse their social RANK without thinking it is abusive,It's the blindness of privilege I am speaking about here. A social position and power that men have that others do not,that comes with social rank. Why else do women get less pay for the same job? Men have a position of power denied to women in this culture.It's a fact.

<Also, please be aware that the 5% statistic you quote is misleading.>

Is it? I think police reports are pretty accurate for gathering statistics better than a religious organization ,or promise keepers or something like that...or.You know those fathers rights groups..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_rights
But there are other places to get statistics than father groups..like the Dept of Justice.
http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1479
http://members.aol.com/asherah/cts.html


That said ..
I also know alot of abuse cases go unreported.Charges are not pressed when they should be .Both men who get battered and women who get battered,and it is staggering how many rape cases go unreported.It's awful.It is so WRONG.



<Women are less likely to be physically abusive than men, but are much more likely to be emotionally abusive than men. Studies which have investigated the occurrence of emotional abuse (I will do some research and find cites) show that some 25% of men suffer physical and/or emotional abuse from women intimates (wives, girl friends, etc.) As I am sure you know, emotional abuse can be far damaging that physical abuse.>

Will those stats be coming from "father's rights" sites? Did you know those "fathers" or mens movement sites are often funded by those "private" contributers" who coincidentally want to BAN gay marriage??!! Yes indeedy!...
http://nafcj.org/
http://www.now.org/issues/right/alerts/10-20-99.html
http://www.glennsacks.com/

Since more seasoned critics than I have denounced the twisted logic and ulterior motives of father's rights advocates -- big name supporters of father's custody include right-wing radio personality Glenn Sacks, archetypal anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly, libertarian commentator Wendy McElroy, and masculinist Warren Farrell, who rated a section of his own in Susan Faludi's Backlash (Farrell's latest book purports that women are paid less because they're less willing, or less able, to compete on men's terms) -- there's really no need to go into the details of the weird disintegration of my communication with Ms. Stoddard.
http://www.mothersmovement.org/features/05/dads_rights/wounds_p2.htm

<No one is saying that resources should be taken away from the very real harm being done by men who abuse women.>

I didn't read that in your posts.Why are you assuming I thought you said that? I didn't.

But don't you dare try to shut up people who mention the very real harm being done by women who abuse men, and don't you dare make all men out to be abusers just because some men are.>

I will point out an abuse of cultural privilege when I see it.
I will shut abusers up regardless of their gender .
And I will expose manipulating neocon front organizations manipulating men.
I will not extend my sympathy that I have for abuse victims like you, to a political ,sexist,"privately funded" mens rights'Father"organization hooked up with the neocons.

And You know damn well I didn't shut you up.I can't shut you up..Get realistic here.. this is THE WEB and you can post here to your hearts content.I cannot shut you up here. I can just ignore you for myself if I choose to,you are not censored by me here .So why make such claims..You trying to incite something?


I Offered my sympathy to you and gave you some statistics that you didn't like to hear.Oh well..Shall I find more you don't want to hear? ? Where should I go ..hmm father's rights orgs? I asked who FUNDS these movements for mens rights talking about battered men the loudest??. So I found out. It's all private funders on the right wing,..The anti gay marriage, the neocon orgs.,"family values" churches. And right wing radio hosts..Fancy THAT!!So I have EVERY right to be suspicious of the "mens movement" agendas.

Funny how the"men's movements" numbers are so much higher than the department of justice's numbers.. why is that? Can you explain this?

If you were abused and I have no reason to doubt what you say is true,again I say to you,AGAIN,since you haven't noticed my sympathy directed twords you yet.. after repeating it for several posts, ALL DOMESTIC ABUSE IS WRONG.. Please, Get some HELP soon.Get out of the bad relationship if you are still with her,and get some help to heal NOW. You need to keep safe. You need to learn about abuse dynamics.You need a good counselor.
Take care.Please,look at and learn to recognize your triggers they might be interfering with your ability to clearly read my posts to you. I have PSTD I know myself how triggers mess with my head.Anyone who had been a victim of trauma or abuse can have triggers,So Take a deep breath and reread my posts slowly,I am not your ex.ok?? I am not her.

I think we can all agree more or less that physical violence is unacceptable. However, the degree to which a woman can hurt a man if she does hit him is usually significantly less and many times it's in self-defense. So, when men seize on these stats about women hitting men as evidence of male abuse and equate it to male endangerment, it's really comparing apples to oranges.

i put a man in the hospital who broke into my house, and that was *before* i studied martial arts - AND i'm 'only' 5'2" and weight 110 lbs.

I know many women who could do serious harm to men. your statement is ridiculous. further, i suspect men who are physically abused by their partners are much less likely to report it because of attitudes like that - 'beaten up by a girl', etc.

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I don't see a red herring I see a cultural attitude that perpetuates abuse and I called it out with an analogy.

"I have known several battered husbands: their situation is not pretty because, of course, it could never, ever happen that a woman would physically abuse her husband. The man is always, ALWAYS at fault."

This person said if a man gets scratched it's the male who's * always* blamed for her actions .No mention about HIS part in the power dynamics that may or may not be there,it was an unfounded blanket statement.The cops arrest both men and women in domestic disputes nowadays.This statement men always are blamed is a red herring..a bit of flamebait.

In response I said if a woman gets raped she is told to not go out at night,to not dress a certain way as if she caused it somehow,caused a male to be an asshole as if a man has no choice to NOT rape someone.
And this is a blanket assumption about rape victims our culture DOES do to blame the victim.It isn't a red herring it's a FACT.

And these attitudes are insulting to men (make men out to be controlled by their dick)and dangerous to women(blaming her)
Alot of sexist cultural attitudes help perpetuate domestic violence twords men AND women.And they all need to be looked at honestly.

25-50%? What are they defining "abused" as? I very much doubt it's a terribly useful or tight definition, if they're getting that high a result for it.

Certainly, to compare a figure for "abused" (especially one from a pressure group with a vested interest in the result being high) with a figure for "domestic violence" from police records seems dubious methodology.

Domestic violence, while not as rare as it should be, is not common.

However, while I'm very suspicious indeed of your statistics, I think the basic point that domestic violence is a serious problem is probably sound - IIRC, 90% of the murders here in the UK are committed by the victim's spouse, with husbands killing wives considerably more often than vice versa, but wives still killing husbands far more often than strangers kill either.

Murray Strauss and the Family Reseach Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire routinely find that when you ask mem and women about the rates of hitting, scratching, kicking, etc. you get similar overall responses.

The problem of course is that men, on average, or stronger than woman, on average and therefore women get hurt and killed more. Plus men are probably less likely that their women are beating them because of the obvious social stigma.

The 5% stat looks at victims in the system. The article you cited even acknowledges the differences between the rates of responses, but doesn't suggest the obvious reasons why the differences exist. I have no idea why since only a person with a biased agenda would not acknowledge that Dobash and Strauss were measurin two different things.

http://www.musc.edu/vawprevention/lesbianrx/factsheet.shtml

About 17-45% of lesbians report having been the victim of a least one act of physical violence perpetrated by a lesbian partner (1,5,6,13).

It sounds like couples have a hard time getting along, even with no men around.

How many men report getting their ass kicked by a woman? The problem with your post is on the one hand you belittle the violence against men and then on the other you actually do indicate violence against men is bad.

The underlining tone of your post indicates men who get abused are wimps. Read you're wording the men in question "abused" but the women are "battered" and "get the shit kicked out of them" and the "patriarchy is getting more noxious to women by the day" and "MEN need to look at their attitudes.Their position of privilege and quit abusing power."

But, you are correct ALL Domestic Violence needs to end.

"I think she has a gun."

That gets them there quick.

hitting kicking pinchin them and the girls do not get in trouble. if a boy looks cross eyed at a girl the teacher jumps on it, (because of the projection when they grow older and lessons learned) but the girl gets away with it consistantly, and the three different schools boys have gone to. i have to see it as an overall issue. so much so the boys recognize. what is htis teaching our boys and girls? we often have had conversation about it throughout the school year.

i tel my boys we are teaching our girls wrong and these teachers don't realize what they are doing to these girls, and boys by not addressing the issue

the boys are suppose to be tough. girls can't hurt a boy unless the boy is a wuss. they are suppose to suck it up

not good for our girls. unfair to our boys. and we are allowing it

undergroundpanther's stats in the earlier post show 5% of men report abuse by women and that's 5% too much, regardless of how high the percentage with the genders reversed. There's also spousal abuse in same sex relationships too.

Adults who can't resolve their issues without hitting or beating their partners need to find other ways to deal before they end up in court or in jail.

That is the REAL POINT here People!!

". . . addictive relationships . . . become that of two children in adult bodies, slugging it out, unaware that they are transferring all their anger and hurt about their parents onto their partner."
-- Charlotte D. Kasl, Ph.D. in Women, Sex and Addiction

The expectation that her search for love will be rewarded at last
by her own love-needy infant is the tragedy of many a woman.
And of course, it is a looming factor in the quality of deprivation suffered by the child. . .
What could be more pathetic than a child crying for want of mothering and the mother striking out at it because it is not mothering her in answer to her longing?"
-- Jean Liedloff in The Continuum Concept

(Her longing to be accepted and loved by whom? her or his partner,or humanity in general.)


"Each generation begins anew with fresh, eager, trusting faces of babies, ready to love and create a new world.
And each generation of parents tortures, abuses, neglects and dominates its children until they become emotionally crippled adults who repeat in nearly exact detail the social violence and domination that existed in previous decades."
-- Lloyd deMause in The Psychogenic Theory of History

. . . To be fully open to the baby's emotional needs
is to become reacquainted with oneself as a baby,
to reexperience the pain of being totally dependent and
desperate in love and yet being shut out and feeling unwanted."
-- Robert Karen, Ph.D

gag" of a character named Andy Capp in a British comic strip where his wife would beat him and he'd appear with bandaids, splints, and bruises. (This is way back in the 60s and 70s.)

:nuke:

:hi:

address the issues with their daughters. i hve seen it in schools and what it creates. why ignore and yell flame bait instead of addressing?

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If people think posting the factual results of a survey which is less than flattering to women is flamebait, then their assessment of what constitutes women-bashing is probably similarly skewed. I'd have to see it, because I'm not going to believe it wholesale from people who want to tell us what facts we can discuss.

issue seems to suggest we are letting men off the hook for abuse. that is bullshit. i think we can say to little girls, no hitting kicking pinching biting of boys and the same with boys. it will behoove both genders. what does it teach the boys? i have literally had a girl tell me oh the power, when i told her she was not allowed to pinch son's ears. that he is not allowed to do anything to her.

when these boys grow, there is going to be a disrespect and feeling of unfairness, and those boys that are being abused today by girls are being conditioned to retaliate at later years.

how does that help and protect our female?

how stupid to create such an environment out of a misplaced fear that if we call it on a girl we are weakening the case of male abuse to female

Nobody has to hit pinch poke verbbally abuse anyone,kid or adult. It has to stop NOW.

Your harping on the fish comment only demonstrates how silly and unreasonable you are. Does anybody else on this thread *really* think that Tahitinut meant anything sexist in the "silly fish" line?

Flamebait=bait=fish taking bait -- this ain't freakin' rocket surgery people. :eyes:

like to abuse women and get off on it.

After all DU once had an ad for a place on the FRONT PAGE that sold a t shirt that said "the way to a woman's heart is through her ribcage." Until some of us DU feminists pointed out how offensive it is and it was removed.


So Yeah there are men who like abusing women and approve of it. PLenty.
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1996/05.02/WhyDoMenAbuseWo.html

it is only flamebait because it projects an image of girls that is less than flattering. Females are human beings just like the rest of us, which means they are generally total screwups just like all the other members of homo sapiens :)

Now, get back to whipping me senseless you wicked ladies. And don't spare the brands of hot iron XD

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The OP did not offer any commentary that would in any way lend credence to a theory of flamebait. There was a study done and this was the results of it.

I don't find the OP to be flamebait, but I do find responses to it that lack any counter-position but attack the intent of the OP, instead of discussing it, to potentially be flamebait.

This study just shines a light on the fact that domestic abuse goes both ways and that no form of it should be considered acceptable. You would agree that domestic abuse is wrong regardless of gender correct?

A study that widens the scope of domestic abuse doesn't undermine the fact that many women are abused, and even abused worse, it just means there are other areas that should be paid attention to as well. I see nothing flamebaiting about that.

My wife and I were talking about this just the other day. Why do some people seem to think it's ok for one side to get physical or aggressive but not the other? The example she offered was her boss at work. She had slapped her husband once, her hand was still in the air when he slapped her back, then they just stood there looking at each other for a minute. Neither ever did that again. They divorced years later due to other things but violence was no part of their relationship and they parted on good terms.

If we don't want people to respond with aggression we shouldn't start it. There's no excuse for it from either side.

All violence is violence and gender is irrelevant. Violence has no place in a relationship.

Oh no! Is Sociopathy on the rise with women?

Also did these testers ask the women why they approved of hitting men? Was there a place for self defense against battery or rape? Or were the questions a catch 22? I don't so easily trust studies without asking who funded it and why?

I am suspicious of this study considering men for ages have abused women in so many ways not just domestic violence but in com-modifying their bodies,paying them less wages than men for the same work,making laws to control their bodies, men excusing rape,and men judges not enforcing protective orders so women get hurt by abuser spouses if they leave.A million things men do to control women and of course I can see why women are pissed. Society IS guilty of treating women as lesser beings.
And considering the fuundys want to control women because they think thier god wants to dominate the world. The submitted wife is not a free and equal human being,she is chattel and right wingers want this klind of stratified world. I see a very dangerous thing a public manipulation,and social engineering potential being unleased by such a study.


I can also see why women would want to knock the shit out of men in general,but I gotta ask will it really help women's causes to beat up men who are not hurting any women and can't get why women might be furious at men ,and men who are too defensive to listen to women?
I don't think beating up random men is an answer..Education has not done all that much either tho.Feminism is still a dirty word to some people,even women.Something must be done about the inequality inherent in patriarchy.

Is beating men up an answer to this intractable bigotry so entrenched into our culture that the ones with the privilege think it's normal?? Do some Women want to dominate men now, since they are failing in getting equality with men and in danger of losuing what rights they got from the women's sufferage before? Are too many women complicit in the taming of the shrew myth? Matriarchy is no ethically better than patriarchy.But being an object and a second class citizen sucks too.

This speaks volumes about frustration I think.And the gradual chipping away of womens rights and the loss of focus in feminism.

“Was there ever any domination that did not appear natural to those who possessed it?”
]John Stuart Mill (1806-1873) Economist and Philosopher

This is not good.

...this is a horrible double standard. Women should not abuse their men for the same reasons men should not abuse women. The result of this survey is disappointing.

I hereby submit this as evidence that feminism isn't about equality of the sexes, so much as completely turning the tables on millenia of patriarchy. :D Of course, this is the UK we're talking about; seems like everything is gyno-friendly over there. Friendly custodial battles, divorces, abuse claims etc.

Also, I don't necessarily consider this bad news either. The thought of woman discovering the joys of violence... well let's just say I find it enticing. :D

But only if the wife is dressed in leather and calls the husband a "naughty puppy."

TlalocW

..;

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

Hard to tell WTF the methodology was on this thing. And why did it only ask students (who one would assume are newer to marriage than a wider population)?

While they don't give a clear picture of their methodology, I thought this line showed what the sponsor were really after:

Professor Murray Straus, co-author of the study, told the paper there was a need for better rehabilitation programmes for women with violent tendencies.

Not that there is anything wrong with funding programs like that but it should be based on better science IMHO.

An innovative approach..


While offender programs have typically looked at how batterers use violence to control their victims--or counseled them on how to manage "out of control" anger--staffers at Travis say this program assumes that violence arises from a decision based on deeply-held beliefs of male dominance, not a flash of "uncontrollable" emotion

http://www.feminist.com/news/vaw57.html

Like they say in the army you must dehumanize the enemy to kill them,That is why calls of"raghead" and such is so offensive to us durring the war over here. Men call women thier wives ect.bitch,ho,slut ect.and eventually women stop being people and become punching bags for arrogant domineering men who think they are superior because they have dehumanized women and the women are so brken they just submit. Domination is the evil heart of the kind of "family values" of wingnut republicans..

http://www.feminist.com/news/vaw34.html

Not that he would but really. What sort of idiot thinks this is 'okay'? And what about the children? Is it okay to beat on them too?

Animals fight.

Its good when those urges can be suppressed and things can be resolved without physical conflict.

However, civilization is not very advanced

When Any country anywhere has a significant problem with husbands having arms and ribs broekn by their wives, and being killed for honor or for religion, let me know.

Crikeys.

Of all the times my wife's hit me, usually after some wiseass crack about her sister, it's never actually hurt.

If I ever hit her, then by all means call the police and have my ass dragged off to prison.

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so your suggested cure for this supposed misogyny is to replace one-sided anecdote with one-sided anecdote?

Men are most certainly not the only problem, even if we are to believe your stretched, generic disclaimer that only males commit violence they (the violent men) are only part of the problem.

Main stream feminism is not only hypocritical, it is dead (or dying) in the developed world, and this total lack of perspective is exactly why.

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O, my mistake. Those people and their built-in predispositions, I shoulda known. What exactly do I hate again?

I gave away nothing except passionately felt, genuine beliefs. Crime?

and you just proved HiddenStillness point BIGTIME.

HS:
"It accomplished the goal, however, as reliable as Karl Rove with some people--it has a thread-ful of woman-haters attacking women for being the cause of violence in our lovely world, and taking the spotlight off males who are the threat, completely. Grab your chance when you can get it, and this dishonest thread was, at the moment, it."

You:
"Main stream feminism is not only hypocritical, it is dead (or dying) in the developed world, and this total lack of perspective is exactly why."

Your lack of perspective and respect DU does not need more of. See #39.

Until the leaders of the nations trying to annihilate the planet are NOT men, HS has every right to make the statement she did. See #39.

If you are interested in perspective........................................

1. did you actually rebut anything I said? or did you respond with just a bunch fist-wringing and histrionic?

2. you hint that your entire, nebulous point is that two r0ngs=right. Let me make one thing VERY clear. As long as people, no matter how few, take exception to me and treat all my choices as suspect because I have a penis, they can expect the same archaic treatment from me in kind. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind", and all that.

3. Respect must first be given before it can be recieved in return. With your unspoken hatred and fear for the other gendre, I neither want or need any of it from you. Perhaps when you bring your rotten, antimale attitude forward 30 or so years and then maybe I will be willing to talk to you.

4. It's a cheapshot, but I just couldn't refuse to bring up the fact that THE OP HAD THEIR POSTS DELETED. ><

RE:WritingIsMyReligion...

My responses deal with the folly in the logic of others; these 'damsels in distress' seem to think that 2-40 thousand years of filling the more domestic, submissive roles in society justifies holding the other half of the species guilty until proven innocent. That would be one reason why the movement fails on the whole.

If you are so eager to have your beliefs deconstructed, why don't you lay them bare and I'll do my best to pick 'em apart. (slight sarcasm)

Simply speaking, I'm intellectually superior here because I'm gender-blind, in every way. You think I'm arrogant? Maybe you should try THAT for perspective.

This feminist is waiting for you to tell her what she believes, and what she is therefore doing to our society.

:eyes:

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, from 25% to 50% of all women in heterosexual relationships are abused. The Surgeon General has reported that battering threatens the lives of more women than rape, cancer or car accidents combined..
http://womenscenter.virginia.edu/sdvs/domestic/myths.ht...
An attack on wiomen for sure..


According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, from 25% to 50% of all women in heterosexual relationships are abused. The Surgeon General has reported that battering threatens the lives of more women than rape, cancer or car accidents combined..
http://womenscenter.virginia.edu/sdvs/domestic/myths.ht...
Think about it 25% to 50% fucking percent..!!
Look also at how violent movies,music and TV shows are twords women it sells for a reason.Violence to women is everywhere!


So that said..what is the percentage of men being battered by women,Do you know??
Police and court records in the USA consistently show that 5 percent of men are victims of domestic violence (Dobash et.al), expressing the need to consider men's experience of violence by a female partner.
http://www.xyonline.net/Maleviolence.shtml

5 percent!! 5!!
Compare the stats..5% men getting abused by women VS 25%-50% of women being battered by men. That means 1 in 2 or 1 in 4 women you see everyday could be beaten .
Who is more likely to get the shit kicked out of them from a spouse? WOMEN.

Abuse begs abuse, in a culture of fraternal abuse... the ugly repressed seed of fear and
self loathing rots away in the british soul, outwardly projected as lashing out, racism,
(wars), and inwardly towards abusing itself. That official culture is what breeds the wars
and the institutional hate, drugs wars and stupid shit like that... Its no shit rape is
normally unprosecuted in the UK by that official culture. It has become a split britain,
where the sane part is not in the official body politic, much like the US. Its no suprise
blair took the UK official crony culture in on the side of the bush white supremecists,
and no suprise there is plenty of flexible labour cannon fodder to abuse another nation.

Gosh, wouldnt it be nice if official culture was not based on abuse, slavery, crime,
murder and death... for lack of a civilisation, a web screen.

... ie - they're specifcally trying to get us to believe in a false moral equivalence.

From looking at this thread, looks like lots of DUers are more than ready to subscribe to the memo.

Even DUers.

Unless in self defense, if they so choose. But there is nothing wrong with play hitting.

Both times I gave her a pass, but have since let her know that atacks will be responded to in kind. It seems fair. I'd never hit a woman, so why should I be subjected to being hit by a woman?

to live with or associate with someone that has committed crimes against you.

that are currently controlled with medication. She's a wonderful woman with a troubled past, and hopefully her meds will help her deal more efficiently with frustration.

Besides, she doesn't throw a very good punch. ;)

I'm of a different viewpoint than most when it comes to this stuff. But I don't know you and you aren't asking for my thoughts or advice so I'll just leave it at good luck and hope none of your words come back to haunt you.

She's pulled this crap twice and if your "respond in kind" as you say above (I assume you mean self-defensively not as retribution), you'll be sent to prison. Lose the head-case.

but if your SO is taking meds for anger mgmt you need to find a new dr.

People wonder why abused women stay with their abusers. What's your excuse?

If you and your girlfriend are anything like the majority of male/female couples, then you are likely bigger and stronger than she is. NO, this is in NO WAY suggesting that makes it ok for her to hit you - that is abuse, it is wrong and the whole point of this post is to encourage you to get out of the relationship.

That said, if you are bigger and stronger than she is and you decide next time to hit her bacl, I hope you don't put her in the hospital. I also hope she has not caused you any physical damage as a result of her outbursts. Understand she has caused you emotional harm (admit it or not).

Violent relationships are not healthy relationships. I hope you find your way out of it safely.

and this is the part they chose to report thereby obfuscating the intended topic of the study (see below). Filing this away under "things that make me go, "hmmm?" For those interested in viewing information about the actual study rather than the BBC's chosen cherry:



I don't see the results of the study posted at the site. Do you think the study results might encompass anything more than what the BBC felt compelled to report?

Hmmmmmmmmm.

It's hard to find the conclusions in that link.

But this all did remind me of this that I had run across recently - on how the media cherry-picks this stuff:

I think they may wait until after they publish their completed results in whatever scholarly tome they publish in before posting to their website. Waiting for peer review and such.

Looking over Straus' publication and research list, he appears to be concerned with violence in relationships, whether they are dating, married, or familial relationships. It looks as though he's look for treatable causes for our propensity toward violence.

The fact that so many in the "news" media feel they need to constantly point out the anomalies, i.e., "women do it, too" and try to make them appear as the norm, as shown by this reporting, the info in your post, and on and on, is what concerns me the most. Because "women do it, too" does not give men a license to "do it." Just as, "it happens to men, too" does not make it any less important that "it" happens to more women with greater frequency. Whatever the "it" may be.

I'm quite tired of the media trying to promote anomalous behavior as the norm. It does nothing but cause fear by creating the idea that we're all homicidal sociopaths and we must constantly be on guard against our neighbors, our friends, and now, even our family. It's a great way to keep the "unwashed masses" divided and afraid of coming together. Wonder why "they" so fear our coming together?

Do humans have some weird fascination with seeing car wrecks by the side of the road? Yes. Can we overcome it? Yes. Should the media report on car wrecks? Okay. Should they put neon signs over the car wrecks so we don't miss them? Er, why? Should the media create the car wrecks so they can put their neon signs over them? No! Emphatically. No.

http://www.xyonline.net/Protectingperpetrators.shtml
http://www.mothersmovement.org/features/05/dads_rights/wounds_p1.htm
http://www.gate.net/~liz/fathers/
http://members.aol.com/asherah/nfi.html
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3820/is_200001/ai_n8888223
http://www.msmusings.net/archives/2005/09/se

Damming stuff...

It boggles my mind that so many men will come together to fight for their "right" to brutalize, maim and kill their "loved" ones.

Though how the hell they define love completely escapes me.

wouldn't your headline more accurately represent the article if it said "some women surveyed approve" ...

you can't possibly mean that ALL women approve of abusing men, can you? especially since that is NOT what the study found?

This article reports that an alarming number of women think it is okay to hit men (though I immediately question how many of the respondants were acknowledging playful hitting). Me and my fiance playfully hit eachother all the time, its fun! :spank:

of domestic Violence done by women..25 to 50 percent of women are victims of domestic violence done by men.


Some sites state 5% others 15%

Intimate partner violence is primarily a crime against women. In 2001, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence (588,490 total) and men accounted for approximately 15 percent of the victims (103,220 total).8

# On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 2000, 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 440 men were killed by an intimate partner.16
# Women are much more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. In 2000, intimate partner homicides accounted for 33.5 percent of the murders of women and less than four percent of the murders of men.17

http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/
Funds cut..http://www.feminist.com/news/violence.html
http://www.xyonline.net/Protectingperpetrators.shtml
http://www.mediavillage.com/jmentr/2005/06/14/jmer-06-14-05/
Hunting for bambi remember this one? ..Funny right? no it's sick!
http://www.now.org/issues/violence/072403violence.html

Is our culture misogynist?? You decide..
I don't see naked men being shot by women with paintballs as amusement.

Domestic violence is for assholes, regardless of the gender. If the only way to deal with your anger is by hitting others, then you have no business being in a relationship...and you're an asshole.

:grr:

Sad that it's 2006, and humans have been to the moon, have transplanted hearts, they've made instant global communication a reality, they've even figured out how to turn the sun into an energy source for light after dark.

But the best way we imagine we can solve our problems is through violence.

And it goes on through generations. My kids saw the new neighbor yell and hit his kid with a switch like a dog the other day. Why? He was asking to go to work with his daddy. Punished for wanting to spend time with the beast.

That little boy will grow up and maybe do the same to his kids, and the cycle continues.

Humans can really be pathetic.

and I can't find the story searching BBC.

Hmmmm.

Violence is never okay, by or towards either gender.

My mom once dated a man that abused her. My dad was once married to a woman who would beat the crap out of him. Equally wrong on both sides.

and we are all paying for it today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Rove

In 1960, at the age of 9 years old, Rove decided to support Richard Nixon. According to Rove, "There was a little girl across the street who was Catholic and found out I was for Nixon, and she was avidly for Kennedy. She put me down on the pavement and whaled on me and gave me a bloody nose. I lost my first political battle."<2>

we had been dating a couple of months. We got into a silly argument about what we were going to do on a Friday night. Had left her apartment planning to go see a movie.

Anyway, an argument ensued about what we were going to do. And spiraled quickly out of hand. I was driving, she first punched me in the chest, than started smacking me in the side of the head.

I turned around, took her home. When she refused to get out of the car, I told her I would call the cops. When she finally got out, I explained to her I was sorry about the argument, but once she put her hands on me in anger that it became apparent to me that she was not the type of person I wanted to spend time with.

She called repeatedly, leaving messages apologizing. I didn't return any calls, and that night was the last time I ever saw her.

I haven't been in a fight since I was a kid. The only time I've hit somebody since than was when I played Rugby in college, and that's only tackling people during a game.

ANYBODY that thinks that striking someone is okay, is NOT okay in my book.

and amen

It has gotten better in recent years however and it is becoming more and more common for women to be held accountable for assault on their partner.

It isn't right for either partner to lay a hand on the other aggressively or act engage in other forms of abuse. Hopefully both genders will learn to just walk the heck away rather than resorting to abusive behavior. Abusive behavior doesn't ever solve anything.

scenarios...

There are folks that beat the living shit out of a partner and get a slap on the wrist...meanwhile if you did that to a perfect stranger you would be in prison.

Granted some folks drop charges but it is never right...

:sarcasm:

really need that statistic before jumping to any alarmist pro-man-beating conclusions. I just find this survey a little hard to believe.

The result of this study doesn't undermine the severity of man on woman abuse in our society, which is well known. It simply serves to shine the light on another angle. There is too much domestic abuse from men and women, and both genders need to cut it out. Just because it is likely that men abuse more often, doesn't mean that women don't abuse enough to have it spoken about from time to time.

Abuse from any gender is wrong and there's nothing wrong with calling out anybody on it.