Girl, 14, Sues MySpace.com Alleging Assault

Girl, 14, Sues MySpace.com Alleging Assault
17 minutes ago



AUSTIN, Texas - A 14-year-old girl who says she was sexually assaulted by another user of MySpace.com sued the social networking Web site Monday, claiming it does not take sufficient steps to protect underage members.

The girl says a 19-year-old man lied in his profile about being a senior on a football team to gain her trust and phone number.

Pete Solis was arrested in May on a charge of sexual assault of a child. He could not immediately be reached Monday evening.

The suit alleges that MySpace has "absolutely no meaningful protections or security measures to protect underage users."

"(MySpace) has got to take this seriously," said attorney Carl Barry, who is representing the girl and her mother. The suit seeks $30 million.

more...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060620/ap_on_re_us/myspace_lawsuit_1

I keep seein shit on how bad myspace is and holding them accountable blah blah blah.

This is the new thing to jump on.

Sorry, but if a 14 yr old doesn't yet understand the dangers of the net I'm not sure it's myspace that's to blame.

Parental responsibility anyone? 30 million dollars. They are on crack. I wonder if it's the fact he wasn't on the football team or that he was 19 that pissed of the 14 year old.

privacy.

This kid's parents weren't doing their jobs and someone will write a bill requiring that we provide identification for "age purposes" and they will demand credit card numbers, DL numbers, etc... to "protect the kids"!

She should be suing her mother. Or maybe Mom can sue herself.

This is just ridiculous.

The mother of the 14 yr old is suing MySpace for not keeping HER daughter safe? Seriously?

When will people ever simply accept that THEY are responsible for taking their own risks? MySpace simply provides a communications medium-- I don't think they should be responsible for "protecting" folks who choose to use that medium for inappropriate purposes-- and yes, meeting folks based on anonymous communications, giving them contact info, etc, is risky behavior. I've done it on occasion, as I'm sure many people do-- but my ISP isn't responsible for the risks I choose to take.

Is a 14 year old girl equally responsible? If she's equally free to use the medium, then IMO yes, she's responsible for taking her own risks. PERSONALLY, and I hope all the flame wavers who probably want my head on a pike by now read this far, PERSONALLY I question the wisdom of giving such communications access to a child if she is not capable of accepting that responsibility, but that isn't MySpace's issue to resolve, IMO-- it's the proper realm of influence of those who provide this girl's computer and internet access, presumably her parents.

Note that I haven't said ANYTHING about the guy who assaulted her-- I'm not defending his actions at all. Just MySpace.

They better SUE the phone company too, since it
also failed to "protect" her when she was talking with
and arranging to meet this creep on the phone.

Look at how the RIAA was able to get court rulings against Napster and other mediums to say that the services are to blame and share responsibility for what their uses do on line.

They can use those rulings to claim that MySpace shares in responsibility for any illegal activity their users perform.

...or whatever company that built their computers. :eyes:

Insane, isn't it?

Myspace has been a really great place for me to keep in touch with a great many of my friends old and new. I don't see why Myspace should be held responsible for what appears to me to be a total lack of parental supervision. What kind of parent just lets their child get onto this internet and communicate with complete strangers without supervision? What kind of parent would allow their child to give out personal information without expressed consent? What sort of parent allows a child to meet with a complete stranger unsupervised? Why the hell does Myspace have any liability for someones bad parenting? And just how the hell is Myspace supposed to remain the free forum that it is for ADULTS and provide some kind of protection for minors? And what kind of protection could Myspace possibly provide for minors in any case? This is a bullshit lawsuit. I should stick a fork in an electrical socket and then sue the power company - it would make about as much sense.

Only they could make such a big deal out of this...

Just move on!

That is a great graphic.

Their constant poop-eating grins is what really pushes them into the Kool-Aid category...

Since the girl's a minor, her mom must have filed the suit for her, right? So she tells her mom she was sexually assaulted and the mom's response is not to find the bastard and file criminal charges but instead they go after Myspace? Maybe the mom's in major denial or something. Or maybe it's getting harder and harder to find fingers to slip into your Wendy's chili.

'absolutely no meaningful protections or security measures to protect underage users.'"

I thought they were called parents?

Absolutely!

:thumbsup: :applause:

when it comes to gun control.. When their little spawn uses the computer, they EXPECT govenrment controls to ensure the safety of the "little ones", but when it comes to gun control, they want the government to BUTT OUT and assure us all thet THEY are the parents and can and WILL teach the kids about gun safety..

Perhaps if they win this suit, the same logic could be used against them when gun control comes up in lawsuits next time:)

:rofl:

we hear about such frivolous lawsuits being brought. How they turn out, we don't hear about.

I hope this one is thrown out of court.

While I totally agree...parents have to take some form of responsibility over the activities of their children. It shouldn't be pass the buck time when something bad happens to a child.

On the other hand, websites such as this and others also have a responsibility to have safeguards in place for ALL of their users...most especially minors.

As a parent, I can't be with my kids 24/7 or know exactly everything it is they do. I try to raise them right as best as I can and to protect them whenever possible. At the same time, when it comes to community sites such as this, the people who run it need to understand that there are predators out there who will do and say whatever they can in order to lure a child in order to commit a horrific crime.

There isn't much information about this case. All we see is a small portion of information and I'm not willing to lay all blame on the child, the mom or the site. Aside from incarcerating the animal that committed this horrible act on this young girl, on the surface it appears there is enough blame to go around for all involved...except for the victim. I will not say it was her fault for getting raped and anyone who does, is wrong.

edited for clarification

Place a password on your PC and only log in when you're around to supervise, etc.
Computers are easy to secure against internet access. Take the modem cable with you if you have too.
The phone analogy is fitting IMO.
Another would be suing Ford for making the van a kidnapper used.
As parents, it's our responsibility to ensure our kids are supervised and visiting appropriate places for their age group online. Same thing with the telephone, or the stove for that matter.

that your parents still know nothing about?

I know teenagers who get up after their parents have gone to bed, log on (and yes, they get the secret passwords and all that) and visit sites their parents would never want them to see.

And I know teens who use web access in the homes of others or in public spaces (like the library or school).

The site had to expect some flak, and personally I am not surprised. These are underaged minors.

A friend of mine has a kid in college and her professor called role the first day of class; with each kid's name, the prof told everything the knew about the kid by looking them up on myspace.com. It drove the point home.

But that might make some peoples' heads explode.

is of access, and myspace encourages kids to make themselves sitting ducks.

I'm not saying that I want censorship. I don't. And I do feel that crimes against children will be used to pass Draconian internet laws that will harm all of us.

What would be nice is if those sites catering to minors, like my space, learned that they could be sued so they would have to do some self-censoring. And before you get all crazed on my ass and your head explodes, this is MINORS we're talking about. Not adults.

That's exploiting the daughter as much as the predator was.

The only way to make my space more responsible with the minors it invites to spill their guts on the world wide web is a civil suit, and civil suits involve money, not jail time.

They're trying to cash in on their daughter.

This is like if she'd slept with some guy behind the 7-11 and then they sued 7-11.

with the problem of online predators these days sites like myspace do have a responsibility to their users. If they failed in that, they should be held accountable.

Since it's not criminal, the only option the parents have is civil. With things like this, it's not always about money...sometimes it's an attempt to force businesses like these to amend their behavior in order to better protect people who use their services.

But, not all the facts are out, yet.

Maybe myspace should sue them for 30 million dollars.

don't be obtuse.

No one knows the full facts as it is. If the man arrested did this, most of the blame lies at his feet. If myspace failed in their responsibility to the user, they should be held accountable.

Suing the parents? Get real. :eyes:

Pain and suffering.

It's their only option, really, since the prosecutor won't charge the parents.

Their 14 year old daughter was raped!

It's like saying...oh, that poor Rupert Murdoch owned website. :eyes:

The parents suing myspace is a stupid idea that sounds like something O'Lielly would suggest.

Their 14 year old customer was raped!

to make sure we do whatever we can to protect all children.

These days it takes more and more to protect our children from sexual predators who would harm and murder them.

If myspace didn't do what needed to be done to protect their users, all it should take is a phone call or an email. Companies shouldn't have to be dragged into court in order to force them to protect consumers of their product. They all should be willing to do what it takes. More often than not, they have to be sued.

That kid new the guy could have been lying and may very well have been lying herself.

Moreover, this "sexual predator" epidemic is ridiculous.

And Myspace didn't do what was needed to protect their users? Are you suggesting they spy on their users in order to see what's going on? Fuck that.

What's so hard about forcing companies to protect consumers? If it wasn't for people suing companies like these we wouldn't have airbags in cars.

If companies fail in their responsiblity they should be held accountable. I'm really surprised to see this attitude at a progressive place like DU.

Just before getting them to spy on us.

you say myspace has a responsibility, but can you be very clear about what they should do?

they should be held accountable. I said this in several posts. Did you not read them?

on edit: Since we don't know enough of the details its very hard to speculate on exactly what they may have done wrong...if they did do anything wrong. The courts will decide.

but i don't understand what type of responsibilities they had. My question is more of a general, "what should an website do to safeguard minors".

How could DU go about protecting minors for example.

I basically said that it's really easy for people to lie online...everywhere. It's too easy and it would take someone a hell of a lot smarter than me to combat it.

I have no doubt that many of the administrators of sites, including DU, are responsible individuals who do everything they can within their power to protect all their users. I do have doubts about myspace, but that began well before this case.

I don't trust myspace. I think it's exploitive in nature and dangerous given the popularity and the freedom with which adults and teens post information.

This is something I hope that someday people figure out...probably not in my lifetime :)

Key word - online. It's not as though they are encouraging people to meet in real life. Once a user crosses that line, they need to assume responsibility.

just ridiculous.

Don't like the results of your own actions?

Sue the shit out of everyone but those responsible.

the problem isn't with MySpace

She's a 14 yr old girl and he was 19. The charge is sexual assault of a child. Pretty serious stuff.

If myspace failed in its responsibility to their users, then they'll be held responsible for their part as well.

its not like the guy lied and said he was a 14 year old freshman.

Granted, the guy is a sleaze.

But this isn't MySpace's problem.

How are they gonna verify that he is 19 instead of 18?

And why is it their responsiblity?

Maybe the mother should instead focus on why her daughter is going after boys who are 4 years older than her.

You don't think that sexual predators will do and say anything to get their hands on these kids?

Community websites like these have to be responsible to their users. They should do whatever it takes to protect them from abuse, fraud and so on. If myspace failed in that, they should be held accountable.

What is the deal with blaming the girl for getting raped?????? Geez, I'm starting to feel like I'm on some RW forum.

And every single one of them knows that people can lie on the internet.

What, exactly, do you expect myspace to do? Fact check everything that gets said?

I can't say. I said in my original post that if myspace didn't uphold it's end in protecting one of their users, then they should be held accountable.

A lot more facts need to come out.

You do bring up a valid point that needs to be seriously addressed. It's so easy to lie on the internet...too easy. I'm not sure exactly how anyone can combat that. It would take someone a hell of a lot smarter than me to figure that out.

There is no telling what or even if the mother warned her about the dangers on the internet. She might have, but the child didn't listen. The girl may have been manipulated to an extent that the man could have told her not to tell her mother. There are a lot of unknowns here.

Either way, my heart goes out to this girl and her parents. They've suffered a horrible crime that no one should have to endure.

made the girl trust him? That's like saying "I trust bob because he drives a camaro"

they probably had been talking to each other for some time. It's no surprise that she's naive given her age.

edit: typo

That perhaps they had talked for a while...perhaps he took the time to get to know her...made her comfortable enough to trust him. It's not hard for a 19 year old man to manipulate and lie to an inexperienced 14 year old girl.

"The girl says a 19-year-old man lied in his profile about being a senior on a football team to gain her trust and phone number." That is a strange sentence.

It's not a well thought-out sentence at all.

after all, if it was the phone conversations that manipulated her, why blame MySpace?

Seriously?

If myspace failed in the responsibility they have in protecting one of its users, they should be held accountable. Even DU, yahoo groups and others like them have terms of service and other requirements for their users. None of this is the same as a telephone company. Far from it.

sexual assault is because he is 19 and she is under 18. But since she was looking for an 18 year old anyway, what she was seeking would have been illegal

And to find fault with a 14 year old girl who had no experience with adult relationships really blows my mind. The 19 year old man is supposed to make intelligent reasonable decisions regarding interaction with a minor. He's an adult.

This entire thread is an example of why women shouldn't come forward when they are sexually assaulted. Either no one will believe them or it'll be considered their fault.

I can't express enough my disgust at how this child has been portrayed as if she was some sort of Jezebel who led men on and deserves whatever she gets. My god. :puke: This is a fourteen year old girl.

How young does a little girl have to be before anyone can say she didn't know any better? How badly should a female be abused in order for people to get outraged? Women get raped in this country every day. Men now know they can do it and get away with it. They know that no one will believe the women they hurt. They know they won't even believe a young girl. So, they continue to rape, beat and kill women.

Any person who maligned this 14 year old girl and said she was looking for it anyway should be ashamed. If, god forbid, I am ever raped...you have convinced me to keep my goddamn mouth shut and to take it.

and she was cruising for trouble by trolling for 18 year old boys.

This isn't a case where she was kidnapped or grabbed in public and raped, or raped in her home in a case of incest or abuse, or raped at a party or in public or anything like that.


SHE WAS ON THE INTERNET LOOKING TO HOOK UP WITH AN 18 YEAR OLD BOY.

14 year old girls, majority of them, do not have the experience with adult relationships.

Another thing, there was enough evidence for the DA to charge this ADULT who should have known better than to get involved with a minor with SEXUAL ASSAULT OF A CHILD...Not a minor crime at all.

For all you know, she was probably typical of most teenagers looking to connect with others about her own age. We don't have enough information.

What is the criteria for a woman who is raped? Does she have to be raped in her home? Grabbed in public for people to see? Incest? Party?

Does getting raped in the back of a car count? I have a friend who was raped in the backseat of a car? Should I tell her that doesn't count?

What are your requirements in order for it to be rape?

I've got a crazy idea. Here's only one requirement. It doesn't matter where a woman is, who she is with or anything. The only requirement that's needed is if she says 'NO'. I won't even mention the times when girls and women are drugged and raped. They are unable to say no, but can't consent either.

Now, if you can tell me for a fact that this 14 year old little girl DID NOT say no, you might have a point.

Also, I suggest you start reading and find out what the age of consent laws are. Get educated before you talk out your ass.

obviously, she wasn't interested in "connecting with others her own age"

when the dude lied, he said he was a SENIOR, not a 14 year old

could be anywhere between 17-20 yrs old. It's quite normal for a Freshman (I'm assuming she must be a Freshman at 14) to want to date a Senior. And they know how old the Seniors are... that's part of why they want to be with a Senior. Why, if they aren't legally an adult yet, they practically are!!!
I mean, thats how it was just a few years ago when I was in high school- I doubt it's changed at all.

Hmm...well, I guess that sends a nice message. :eyes:


To 14 yr. old girl: You wanted to date a 'senior' so you got what you wanted. Sexually assaulted by an adult. It doesn't matter that the adult should know better. It's your fault.

:eyes:

The *point" of my reply was that Seniors are generally 17-20, and all Freshmen who can handle basic mathematics know that.
So the above poster was right in saying, obviously she wasn't looking to connect with someone in her age group.

lies and lures a 14 year old girl to him in order to assault her?

IF she was looking for someone older than her, does that mean she deserves to be assaulted? Does that mean the 19 year old adult male is not responsible for his actions?

Since when are adults not held liable for their actions?

This is exactly what people are trying to say here. This guy who assaulted her, is responsible. He is in jail.

The website, did not assault her. The website shouldn't be sued for $30 million and I hope it gets laughed out of court. My mother sure as hell wouldn't sue a website because some guy I met on it assaulted me, especially when the guy is in jail, my mother would be taking care of me and putting me through counseling and giving me the love and support I need.

the case may have merits. We don't know yet.

You act like you know everything about this mother and what she may not be doing for her daughter...like she is all consumed by a lawsuit that you view is only done for money. And it's money that none of them will probably see for years to come.

When someone is raped they go to a hospital. They also visit with a victim's advocate from the police department. They assist in getting the needed counseling. Since this is a minor, the hospital usually involves child welfare as well. It's standard practice.

In many cases, an entire family winds up in counseling over things like this. I've seen it more times than I care to remember.

No I don't know everything about this mother, I don't think I do, but I do think this lawsuit is absolutely ridiculous. And I also think that this article could have put a lot more information. The guy is in jail. That's what matters, and it should be left at that. He is the only guilty party here.

And that's all I have left to say in the matter.

I'm just one of those people who tries to be careful on making swift judgments on anything. I'm perfectly comfortable defending anyone who claims a crime was committed against them. I'm not willing to call them a liar. At the same time, this guy is innocent until proven guilty. It's easy for me since I try very hard to preserve judgment until all the facts are in.

It's the same for any corporation. If myspace is found liable, they should pay for it and fix the problem.

Somewhere along the way, they felt that myspace failed in it's obligations to their users. They feel it strongly enough to file a lawsuit. I'll be honest...I don't like myspace. But if they did everything right they should be let off the hook. It'll be easier to determine one way or the other once it's been litigated.

:shrug:

Sorry about that.

Long day today.

It looks like maybe him being 5 years older rather than 3 years older will get him 20 years. Otherwise, a statutory rape. It also looks like the suit was filed within about a month of the offense. Has the guy even been convicted yet?

anyway.

Go ahead and say it. Most of the flapping mouths here are more or less saying it.

Does anyone remember that Rupert Murdoch owns myspace?

That's amazingly lame. On the one hand you suggest, without any basis, that posters criticizing this lawsuit are "more or less" saying that the girl "was asking for it." That utter bullshit and if no one else will call you on it, I will.

And then, in what is either a remarkable non-sequitur or an attempt to blame Murdoch for the actions of a 19 year old sleazebag, you mention his ownership of myspace.

Simply put, this girl was not "asking for" what happened to her. But to the extent that she was taken advantage of by a sleazebag she met on the internet, its not the fault of the Net or of myspace either. The fault belongs first and foremost to the sleazebag that assaulted her and secondly to the parents that failed to supervise their daughter to the point where she not only was interacting with this guy through MySpace but also via email, phone and ultimately in person.

Put another way: if the guy who attacked her had only been 15, would the situation be any different? I say no. He'd still be a sleazebag on whom primary blame should fall. ANd the parents still would be guilty of failing to supervise their daughter, because its irresponsible to allow an unsupervised 14 year old go off and have a meet-up with someone that they met online, even if that person is thought to be around the same age as the 14 year old.

they should be held accountable and they should be forced to rectify the issues in order to protect their users. It's a no-brainer.

Keep in mind, kids get manipulated and lied to. They get told not to tell their parents things and much of the time, kids will keep things like this to themselves. I will say this without going into too much detail. A friend's 15 year old daughter was manipulated and lied to by a 21 year old man. As a result, she lied to her parents about where she was going. This was something she never did before. Now, this wasn't an online meeting, but I can't point out strongly enough how easy it is to manipulate a young girl who has no understanding of adult relationships. The man is now serving a five year prison term for three counts of statutory rape. How anyone could blame the parents in this case, is beyond my understanding.

Parents can only do so much. They can't always be there 24/7. All they can do is hope they raise their children the best way they can and do whatever it takes to protect them.

I remind people that Rupert Murdoch does own myspace...just like Faux news which is the most irresponsible lying corporation we know. Hell, they make their living off of lying and manipulation. Why should I expect myspace to be a responsible company given who owns it?

rather than a 19 year old, would you then say MySpace is off the hook?

I can't honestly say. I can't say for sure if the parents of this girl has a case. It could be thrown out, it could go to trial and myspace is found not liable or they could be found liable. No way of knowing until this thing plays itself out.

One wonders how she was able to go out and meet this guy anyways. I feel sorry for the kid, I've been abused and it's not a fun experience, but I blame the parents in this situation.

Did you read that? Do you have a source that this 14 year old girl was looking for sex? Does that mean she deserves to be raped?

Is it because the parents are so angry, so hurt and so devestated by what happened to their child they are doing everything they can to make sure it doesn't happen to another girl including suing myspace?

Maybe it's because this ADULT MALE manipulated and lied to this 14 year old? Maybe this adult male lured her in order so he could rape her?

I can't believe how much 'blame the 14 year old girl' I'm seeing here at DU. It's just amazing and nauseating.

the only difference between an "ADULT MALE" and the "14 year old girl" is a year.

He told her he was a high school senior. Therefore, she must have known he was at least 17.

And, honestly, I gotta say, I wasn't nearly that fucking stupid when I was 14. And I doubt you were either.

You're acting as though the guy was 47 and said he was 14.

No.

He was 19, said he was a high school senior.


And she agreed to meet with him.


By all rights, this case should be laughed out of the courtroom.

Are you giving him a free pass to go after minors? Last I checked, 19 year olds were considered adults and 14 year olds were minors.

At the very least the guy can be charged with statutory rape, but no...the DA saw fit to charge him with sexual assault of a child. Maybe they know something we don't. But no, people here would rather trash the 14 year old and her parents (who were also victims)before even knowing a damn thing other than a vague article.

By all rights, nobody knows enough about this case to say whether or not myspace is liable...not even you.

People are claiming all sorts of reasons for saying it's her fault or that she's lying altogether.

I remember a specific so-called writer, political hack and RW talking head who said that the 9/11 widows were harpies and broads. They enjoyed their husbands' deaths. She said they should take their money and shut up.

People here at DU were outraged at how victims of a crime were treated. I read posts that said on many occasions family members of victims become activists and even sue in order to hopefully prevent another such horrid crime from happening again.

Civil lawsuits are one option victims and their families have to prevent tragedies from happening to others. Chances of recieving any money at all is usually minute. These things can drag on for years and lawyers can suck up a large portion of money. Some money can be set aside in trusts and administered by someone else as we saw in the Terri Schiavo case.

This is a normal part of our court system. This is an option open to people who have been wronged and see a way of preventing horrible things from happening again.

In the instance of myspace...no one knows if myspace is liable in any way. That's what a court has to decide.

I'm pretty sure I never said that.

They have Terms and Conditions that you are supposed to read when you join the site. I imagine a 14 year old knows how to read if she is making profiles and chatting on websites?

I don't see how anyone can read one single article and decide at the drop of a hat whether or not myspace is liable. :shrug:

I am a member of Myspace, I read the Terms and Conditions when I joined, and I looked at them again when I came into this discussion. When you join a website, you are agreeing to their Terms and Conditions.

The terms and conditions are there, but that doesn't address the details of the lawsuit which you do not know.

The lawyers and all those involved personally in this are the ones who know the specifics. There are facts in this none of us are aware of.

The case could get thrown out, it could go to trial, myspace could be held liable or they may not be held liable. We don't know...just as we don't know the specifics of what it is they are looking at or why they believe they have a case.

on a football team, when he's really a 19 year old who isn't on a football team, and he raped a girl.

Would you want DU to be sued?

Do you think it's always that simple? Do you think cases like this aren't complicated and involve factors that only those involved are privy to?

Since this involves a minor, there are many issues and specifics the general public doesn't know. If myspace is found to have shirked their responsibility they should be held accountable. It's the same with any other company that gets sued.

Myspace shouldn't be given a pass because of it's popularity. It should be held accountable IF they failed in their responsibility of protecting their users.

being asked to prove who they are.

People can also lie about themselves in person, over the phone, etc.

This doesn't mean that DU or MySpace are failing in their responsibilities.

They're totally different, IMO, because of the nature of both sites.

I addressed this in another post. Yes, people lie on the interent. It's a common occurance and one I wish can be somehow handled. It would take a hell of a lot smarter person than me to figure it out.

No one really knows if myspace failed in their responsibilities in this case. We don't know the specifics to make any sort of judgment one way or the other.

Also, guys like Skinner and Elad, plus the moderators are pretty swift in handling things. I trust those guys and my thinking is that if they ran myspace, it wouldn't have half the problems that it does. But I'm biased anyway :)

Her neglect cause her daughter to get assulted and now the mom is using it to get rich? Pathetic, we are a truely sick society.

a man rapes her 14 year old daughter and you want to blame the mom. :eyes: yeah, it's a sick society.

Or are you one of those people who think women can do no wrong and so scream "misygony" every time a woman is criticized? :eyes:

I also have a friend who has a daughter who got involved with a 21 year old man. Her daughter was manipulated and used. Her daughter was stalked by a sexual predator. For a while she thought he was a great guy who really loved her. He used is adult experience to prey on her inexperience. The man was a cold-hearted bastard with a history of going after little girls like this. He convinced her to lie to her mother about where she went and who she was with. He showed her how she could get away with it.

Fortunately, her mother found out before things got too out of hand. It took a while, but the asshole is serving five years for three counts of statutory rape. If it had been possible to get more on him, she would have done it. She is scared half to death of what'll happen when he gets out of prison.

I'm one of those people who has seen women get manipulated, used, lied to, abused and killed. I'm also one of those women who don't automatically blame the 14 year old girl over the 19 year old man who by all accounts should have known better since he's an adult.

:eyes:

Now, do I tell my 15 year old daughter to report it if she's raped? Or do I have to look at DU and consider this a typical response by the rest of the United States? I expect this kind of reaction from RW nutjobs.

Her mother is the same woman who sued McDonald's because she spilled their hot coffee all over herself?

As part of a warning to parents reads on one of my own Web sites: "We are not babysitters."

First of all, the guy was arrested, as he should have been if he sexually assaulted her.

Second, Myspace.com has Terms & Conditions. Here's a couple of snippets.

"Please choose carefully the information you post on MySpace.com and that you provide to other Users. Your MySpace.com profile may not include the following items: telephone numbers, street addresses, last names, and any photographs containing nudity, or obscene, lewd, excessively violent, harassing, sexually explicit or otherwise objectionable subject matter. Despite this prohibition, information provided by other MySpace.com Members (for instance, in their Profile) may contain inaccurate, inappropriate, offensive or sexually explicit material, products or services, and MySpace.com assumes no responsibility or liability for this material. If you become aware of misuse of the Services by any person, please contact MySpace or click on the "Report Inappropriate Content" link at the bottom of any MySpace.com page."

....."Content/Activity Prohibited. The following is a partial list of the kind of Content that is illegal or prohibited to post on or through the Services. MySpace.com reserves the right to investigate and take appropriate legal action against anyone who, in MySpace.com's sole discretion, violates this provision, including without limitation, removing the offending communication from the Services and terminating the Membership of such violators. Prohibited Content includes, but is not limited to Content that, in the sole discretion of MySpace.com:"............... 5. solicits personal information from anyone under 18;"

Among lots of other stuff. It's all there, and it's not that long of a read.

Furthermore, under a certain age, I think 16- you can't view their profile, unless they have accepted your friend request, or, have added you themselves. Only their friends can see their profile.

When I was 14, my parents knew where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. I wasn't allowed out in public areas without adult supervision, and could only hang out at my friends houses (and my mom drove me there, and picked me up, and had their numbers, and spoke to their parents) or at after school activities. They monitored my internet activity. At both of my parent's homes, the computer was close enough to their bedrooms that they could hear if I tried to get online in the middle of the night.

Also, parents can block these sites so that their children can't visit them.

The responsibility is not Myspace.com's.

:sarcasm:

According to some posters. :eyes:

AT ALL. This is like saying, if I meet a guy on MSN chat, and I go meet him somewhere, and he assaults me, I should sue Bill Gates. Makes absolutely no sense to me.

Just like they did years before with AOL, and years before that with compuserve the lapdog corporate media is using an isolated case like this to try and beat everyone into a self righteous froth, trying to convince all of us that the internet needs regulated.

Don't forget the telecom bill is before Congress right now, and they just made their third draft of changes. You think for a minute these fascists currently in control of Congress want a medium with actual free speech?

Don't buy into it. They have been using dirty little tricks like this to push their draconian thought control agenda since the internet became public in eighties, and they keep plugging away at it.

however, there are such things available on computers as parental controls. I suggest parents use them and quit catering to their children and expecting the rest of the world to keep their kids safe. Even better than parental controls just don't let the kids on the computer. What does a 14 year old need with a computer? Libraries are good places for research, telephones work for communication, computers just aren't necessary for kids to use to chat all night.


Does anybody tell their teenagers NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT any more?

There's no way that myspace can check the ages of everybody who uses it. There is no way to monitor all the conversations.

I'm the parent of a young teen girl.. and I tell ya it makes me ill to hear her friend's parents lament that they can't get to use their own computer because the kid is using all the time to talk to people online, etc. Or they tell me how their kids don't do anything around the house, etc., but I notice the kids get to go shopping with parent's money, have their own cell phone, have unlimited money for movies, etc. I always make a comment like... have you considered no more shopping if they don't help around the house? And the parents just look at me dumbly and say.. 'oh, I've tried that and it doesn't work'. Hello? It works alright! They are the ones that gave in.. not the kid.

My stepdaughter got a myspace page last year behind our backs while with a friend. When I found it shortly thereafter (because I'm an intelligent parent who actually keeps tabs on what's up), she was banned from myspace for a year, grounded for a month, and not allowed to do anything outside of the house with that friend. She is getting another myspace page, tonight actually, but this one is done as private.. it's parent-approved, and she knows thoroughly about not giving out info to anyone, not adding anyone who is not an actual friend from school or family, AND she has to have either me or her adult sister as a friend on there, to keep it real.

One way that I really drove home the dangers of myspace to her the first time is that some of her myspace friends from school had been adding all kinds of people.. people they didn't know. One guy, in his 40's, was on a few of her friends pages. He styled himself after Charles Manson (I kid you not) had a big Helter Skelter tatt and shaved head. And here are all these dumb kids with their full names, birthdates, hometowns, and other info, on their pages for this guy to see. His quote was "YOU COULD BE NEXT!". I showed her that with one click I could go from her friend's page to this guy.. and this guy now had all information he needed to come and find her. I then told her a bit about Charles Manson. She actually became nauseated and 'scared straight'.

Myspace is fun.. I have a page, and most of my friends and relatives do. It's a cool tool in the right hands.. but you cannot abdicate your responsibility as a parent by having zero clue what your kid is up to. Some parents that I know have no idea what they are doing most of the time... Too many parents talk AT their kids, not to them. I know which kids are doing drugs at school, which ones are coming to school drunk, which ones are having sex, which kids have shitty homelives. It really makes a difference to be totally clued in.

We have a teenager, too. She's the one that wanted us to spend almost $600 for a formal. :eyes: As if.

The one thing she has learned the hard way is how much she values our trust. She won't violate that and it helps that her and I have a good mom/daughter relationship. We can talk about anything and we do.

We have three kids. One is a mom of her own kids and lives away from home. There's the 15 year old daughter and 7 year old little boy. We set limits for our kids plus they have responsibilities here at home.

There's a healthy balance that has to be struck by all involved. Sometimes it's like walking on a high wire. On one hand, you want responsible kids who will use their heads and think for themselves. On the other, you don't want to smother them to the point of resentment and losing their trust. It takes a hell of a lot of hard work to find that.

We practiced on the oldest daughter and seeing it work, we've tried with the other two. Some tweaking had to be done for each individual kid and so far it appears we have some well-rounded smart kids. Still early at this point :)

You did mention one thing that really struck me. It's about giving in. I find this to be a huge problem among other parents that I know. I've struggled with it at times because the urge is there, but as parents we must be consistent with our children. Nothing is accomplished if we're anything but.

Myspace is offlimits in our home. We don't feel it's a positive influence and the dangers outweigh any benefits. We approved an LJ for our teen and she's grown quite content with that and her own group of friends. Last year we gave her a paid account so she could share more photos with her friends.

We do try to know what's going on with her without infringing on her privacy. The trust that's been built between her and us is valuable. I must say that with our middle daughter, I've learned more about parenting than with the oldest one.

I had a couple of nephews who used to stay with me for weeks at a time (one lived with me for 3 years) and the little suckers can wear you down. I admire your desire to stand firm and it sounds like you have done a great job raising your children. There's really nothing more important than being a responsible, consistent, encouraging parent.

(I was tough on those nephews but they still loved me.)

and I do know it's not easy. My sister and her son lived with me for 3 years and I was his surrogate mother much of the time as she was emotionally drained from an abusive relationship.

THANK YOU for doing the job so well. It takes a lot of courage to be a parent I think.

if someone claims to be on a football team, immediately investigate it to find out if he really is on the football team.

Or not.

That there is NO personal responsibility. If something happens to us, we can always blame someone else, sue them, and that money will replace the harm that was done...