Abstinence Education (is bad)

Parents, it's time to talk to your children about sex. Well, unless your children are grown adults... Let's assume they're still in school- even through High School- you may still want to have that talk. Because your kids aren't learning anything good from their health classes, and they're going to be totally unprepared for the real world unless they read "Savage Love".

The government, for their part, have spread nothing but lies. The department of Health and Human Services (HHS) has, along with the Bush administration, set up a website called "4parents.gov." In my opinion, it could easily be renamed "Abstinence Education and Gays are EVIL.gov." But I digress- the point is that this administration cares more about abstinence education than actual fact.

Here is the fact: abstinence education doesn't work. Yes, the rate of teen pregnancy is SLOWLY going down (it was dropping quicker under Clinton and Sex Ed than Bush and Abstinence), we still have the highest teen pregnancy rate of the industrialized world. This slowing down, however, is not linked to abstinence education. Teens are having sex now more than ever. Increased use of birth control pills and the availability of abortions is a much more plausible cause of most of the dent.

But Mr. Fawkes, what can we tell our children about sex? Well, use protection for one thing. The government says condoms are "only" 98% effective. Wow, "only" 98%? You've got to be kidding! Just because something isn't 100% effective is not, as the government tells your children, a good reason not to use it. And I'm not kidding! Health is taught like this: "Condoms are only 98% effective, so you may as well not use them. The only 100% effective way of not getting pregnant or getting STDs is to not have sex until marriage."

Okay- but what if you marry someone with an STD? You can still get it. And guess what, married people get pregnant all the time. Plus, for those of you that haven't been paying attention (ie, trolls and freepers), Gays and Lesbians can't get married. The highest rate of AIDS/HIV is found in gay men- and if you tell them not to use condoms...

Sounds like murder to me. But once again, I find myself angrily off-topic.

Parents, tell your children this: if you're going to have sex (and yes, eventually just about everyone has sex): use a condom. And birth control, for that extra 2%. If your children are gay/lesbian, they can still use protection... And though I'm not as well versed on protection for lesbians (sorry), I'm sure there are plenty of books at your local library. Or the internet, if you live in Texas. :-)

By the way- I realize that the prospect of teens having sex is traumatizing at best. But please, don't make them sign abstinence agreements. Most teens that do that wind up having sex within 12 months of signing the agreement. And besides, kids with proper knowledge of protection are less likely to go out and have sex anyway. If you present it fairly- ie, no scary pictures of STDs- and answer questions, your children can learn a lot. If you can't answer, try http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/">Go Ask Alice!, Columbia U's sex-education website. You can submit your own questions or search those already asked.

I could rant more about abstinence education and how its magical thinking... but that wouldn't save your children's lives.

“I have seen what works in my state: raise expectations, measure progress,insist on results blow the whistle on failure.”20—Presidential candidate George W. Bush, 2000
Under Governor Bush, Texas spent over $10 million on abstinence-only-until-marriage education. Bushallocated nearly $6 million in state funds, well over the $3.7 million state match required by the federalallocation of $4.9 million.

In Texas, 220 teen females aged 15 to 19 become pregnant every single day.

Texas’ teen pregnancy rate is 113 per 1,000 teen females aged 15 to 19.
Texas has the second worst teen birth rate among 15- to 19-year-old females, ranking 49thout of 50 states. OnlyMississippi has a higher teen birth rate
Texas ranks dead last in the decline in teen birth rates among 15- to 17-year-olds, ranking 50thout of 50.
Texas has an extremely high number of reported STD cases — accounting for about 10 percent of all reportedcases of chlamydia and gonorrhea in the country.
Texas’ chlamydia rate is 319 per 100,000 population, ranking 44thout of 50.
Texas’ gonorrhea rate is 167 per100,000 population, ranking the state 40thout of 50.
Texas ranks 46thout of 50 states for the number of people living with HIV/AIDS

MORE AT: http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:1aXXV4MktfwJ:www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/factsheet/fsbush.pdf+texas+abstinence+only+education+increase+in+stds&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=15&ie=UTF-8

I am raising a child whose mother is mentally ill, HIV positive, and on the street. It breaks my heart that the denial and stigma causes this mother to live this way and that this child will not have a real mom. I am the child's great aunt and I love this little one with all my heart, as I do her mother. All of it IMO could have been avoided if this baby's mother could have been free to discuss the things happening to her (she was sexually abused at the age of eight and did not talk about it until she was almost thrity). The whole "just say no" crap for sex AND for drugs has only made things worse. If we could talk openly and rationally as well as non-judementally about this stuff, we would be better off because we could malke better decisions if we could think about the "unthinkable".

I raised my own children to not be ashamed about their bodies and when we had "the talks" it was casually as they grew. I advocated masturbation and told my kids this was a natural thing that most people did, that it was safe (no sexually transmitted diseases) was a wonderful way to leanr how to love one's self, did not hurt anyone and did not cause babies. I also taught them to use contraceptives and to talk to their partners about it. I told them that if they found they loved someone of their own gender, this was a gift they were born with and that they were not to be ashamed. None of my children are gay, but they have gay friends and they are very accepting of them for who they are.

I was amused and pleased when my oldest son came to me at the age of 17 and asked me what to do because he and his girlfriend were discussing having sex. I told him I would support him and his girlfriend going to a clinic and getting contraceptives if they decided to do go ahead, but advised they should wait. Time went by and I did not hear anything until about a month later. They both came to me and told me they decided to wait ~ but they would cuddle and explore in the meantime...was this "bad"??? I told them that as long as in the heat of the moment they remembered that if they did not have precautions, then they needed to wait until they did. There was relief in their eyes as they both hugged me and told me they really appreciated my help. They are now married and tell me they were helped with my guidance. I now have a 2 year old granddaughter who is the light of my life as well as her cousin, the baby I am raising.

But I got a lot of flak from other parents for my openness. I was told I was "too liberal" and there were some who were genuinely shocked I would even discuss masturbation with my kids, much less advocate it. I would no sooner trust the schools or many other places to tell my kids about sex ~ you are right and it has gotten worse over the years. I do not think it was a mistaketo teach my kids what I did. I think it was one of the best gifts I could give; knowledge about their bodies and their control over it.

My 2 cents

Cat In Seattle

But you overlooked one very important fact.


Gays and Lesbians can't get married. The highest rate of AIDS/HIV is found in gay men- and if you tell them not to use condoms...


Don't you know gays and lesbians aren't supposed to have sex because that is perverted and eeeevil? That's why abstinence-only sex ed doesn't even address it. :sarcasm: