'Nother in-counter wif ma neybor . . .

Ah’m out puttin’ some bills in tha mailbox when ma neybor comes awalkin by on his daily constitutional with his dog, Sparky. Big ole dog and jus sweets he kin be, lessen yer a cat, then yer the other whyte meat.

Howz thangs! He sez.

Fair to middlin’ an might near sunny, sez I.

Yer right, he sez, thangs is good! Got some good news comin’ outa I-rak.

I put the mail in the box and commence ta lean on it ‘cause I figger this may take ‘while. Howzat? I ask. I should know better but I jus kain’t hep m’self.

Well, he sez, theys got a new gov’mint and jus ‘pointed a dee-fence minster. We’s turned a corner!

‘Nother corner, huh. ‘Minds me a Moma when she worried ‘bout one a her young-uns. She’d stan at the kitchen winder an look out. Then she’s turn to the stove an meddle with it fer a bit. After wile she’d go to the dinner table an set a spell. ‘Fore ya know it she’s back at that winder. She’d do that all day ‘til that young-un turned up. All that turnin’ didn’ make a bit a diff’ence and she never really went ‘nywhar.

Yeah, but things is a changin’ over there an we’s making progress, he sez.

I rekon it ‘pends on whut ya call progress, I sez. With all them corners we’s turned Ah'm beginning to think we got one foot nailed to the floor. Them ‘surgents kilt more people this year then last an more last then the year ‘fore. Lookin like theys gonna kill more nex year than this. M’be somebody makin’ progress but don’t seem ta be us.

If’n yore so dang smart whut’d you do? he sez, gittin’ a bit testy.

Well, I sez, I sorta like whut that feller Kerry said. I’d git ma gen’rals t’gether an make a ‘pointment with that new dee-fense minster. I’d set ‘im down at tha table and git out ma calendar. I’d say, Look a here, see this here date? That’s when ma gen’rals say yer folks kin be ready. See this here date rite nex ta it? On that date there ain’t gonna be one US troop, one Humvee, one tank er one hell’copter in this here country. Now I sugges’ ya git offa yore @$$ an git-er-done.

Ya’ kain’t set no dates! If’n ya do them ‘sergents jus wait ya out! Ya jus be hepin’ em make plans! he sez, might near foamin.

I look like a fool to you? I sez. I aint tellin’ them ‘surgents nuthin, Ah’m tell the dee-fense minster. If’n he wants ta blab it all over that’s ‘is bidnez. They’s gonna haf’ta run they’s own cunt’ry sooner-r-later. Ah’m jus tellin’ em when sooner is. Rest is up ta them.

‘Ell, I jus doan know. C’mon Sparky, lets git this walking done, he sez as he heads off down the street.

I sez to ‘is back loud ‘nough fer ‘im ta hear, Jus do whut we did in Vet-Nom! ‘Clare vic’try and bring em all home!

So I raises the flag on the mailbox and moseys back inta the house where ma wife’s been a watchin from the front door. Ya know, Hon, she sez, ya really should’t bait that poor ole soul. ‘E’s jus bein ‘izsef an ‘e cain’t hep whut ‘e is. Now be a dear an feed the cat for me would’ja please.

jist gessin

East Texas uses the long y sound in words like white and right. South Texas tends to run words together so entire sentences can be one word like: git-r-done, myriteurwrong?, nowhutamean?, an' stufflakat.

Every now and then some West Texas slips in where the "e" & "i" is in short supply. Inywhar and bob-war are great West Texas words.

and maybe send Dr. Dean's staff the links ;)

forward one of my own emails to me!

Many times I hear some of the cooler guys on TV use a line they swiped from some clever DUer's post. Have heard a couple lines of my own coming out of the mouths of talking heads a day or two after I penned them.

When somebody tries to tell you we can't change things, tell them we already have! And we're gonna keep on with our nudging and ox gorin ;)

My ol granny said when things start stickin to the pan, well, that's when ya gotta get serious about stirrin!

Died with her boots on, my ol granny did. They had to drag her from that polling place feet first to get her to give up her post of watchin over democracy. Guess you could say it's a family thing with the women of my clan.

I need to learn the dialect. My Northern accent turns off the freepers around here.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Gads what a wit and gift you are.

Let's see--if your neighbor can figure out what this means, then why can't...

oh, never mind.



K&R'd, anyway.

http://server2.whiterosesociety.org/content/james/JamesShow-(31-5-2006).mp3

Just before the top of the hour break, about half way through the broadcast.

is hilarious . . .

My brain hurts from reading this . . .

the spelling made my head hurt. It wasn't a personal thing. Just trying to read that and dumb down to that level was giving me a cerebral hemorrhage . . .

I have a friend that actually talks like this. In fact I grew up in this very culture. The story of Moma wasn't fiction, that's the way she dealt with stress.

To think of people who sound like this as intellectually inferior is a big mistake. The capacity to reason and discern the validity of a proposition isn't diminished by their accent or dialect.

To underestimate people because they talk "funny" is a big mistake.