Do you wonder whether you've become so tough, you have no tenderness,....

,...left?

Just wonderin' :shrug:

My son says I am becoming too tough, missing my sweetness. BUT, he's a danged teenager and difficult as all hell to deal with *LOL*.

But, seriously,...I wonder if our necessity to be "tough" against life's uninvited "HUMAN-CREATED" ills,...steals our tenderness,...our capacity to,....

Jus' wonderin' :shrug:

(((eeek))))having to correct a minor imperfection ((((eeek)))))

thoughtful, caring and sensitive and many of us like you and myself have had to put a protective callous covering over our emotions to protect ourselves from the onslaught of the horror and crimes perpetuated by this administration.....we have to steel ourselves for the next travesty....because if we don't it will destroy our very souls.....

,...I figure, "those are the very places to lose one's soul."

It's mostly an intuitive thingy,...but,...having splashed into way WAY too many pithy, bullshit battles over essentially nothing,....I'll stick with the anchors like H20man and Octopus and Raw Story and that lot of truth-seekers. I'm tired of wasting time, heart, reason, and passions on so many hardened, (perhaps disingenuous and/or distrustful) people.

I feel whole in spite of it all. I believe in a humanity better,...than this. None of those butt heads can stop my belief or my dream.

friends I have....I point out how they are being hurt by the actions of this administration and they hear nothing...I am done with that....it's not worth the aggravation........

And like you I will keep my beliefs and dreams for all Americans to live free in this country.

there seems to have been a lot of this lately. it is discouraging that is for sure. i am not playing on those threads either

One of the characters says, "It's a cold world out there. Sometimes I think I'm getting a little frosty myself."

I know the feeling. We live in such a fastpaced, unforgiving society, it's rare for kindness and compassion to be seen or experienced. It's sad. :(

unforgiving society. i am forgiving all over the place and spreading cheer everywhere i go. the upside. not only do i feel better, and the person i interacted with.... my children are learning and seeing the reward and are doing the same. so...we just need to all help fellowman a bit and be a little more forgiving

,...to believe there is no forgiving where you are,....but there is forgiving here and within yourself. (((HUG))). I sense your pain but can not possibly know it. I can sense it. You are not alone,...I SWEAR!!!!!

:hug:

Lately I wonder if I am drifting towards becoming a hard, bitter person. It seems that some of it has to do with a string of disappointments, and a lot of it has to do with a renewed sense of how cruel and unfair life can be (Yes, that's nothing I didn't know before, but still, it hurts to have the awareness refreshed daily...).

That said, I also think attitude and influences play a role. Pessimism tends to rub off, and I have a lot of family and friends who are basically pessimistic. I have to fight to keep a positive attitude.

,...humanity would make life "JUST".

Can't say I see much of that deliverance, either to humanity or the earth.

"Values"

"Values"

What are those "values" we cling to,...for real,....not the rhetoric or whatnot.

She loved the bumper sticker I want: Only when the power of love overcomes the love of power will peace be possible.

My poor Mom, HAD to be hardened for awhile just to survive life's injustices: none of which she invited.

She retained her some of her tenderness, although the bitterness still spills out, from time to time.

i started talking on a dem/repug message board and the first week, i had myself so worked up..... getting children out of house to do something i was snappy, frustrated, impatient. finally i stopped myself and said, sorry kids, talking to repugs, and took out on you. now periodically they will say "are you taking to repugs agains" and we laugh and laugh. my kids are comfortable with saying it to me, and i appreciate. sometimes it IS them adn their behavior andi will not laugh adn sya no... it is becuase YOU.


but yes, i think we can and a child gives us a gift of realizing

like tonight, he gave some information out over the internet. Someone from Colorado Tech called about enrollment. He's only 13. I explained to him that he is not to give any personal information out over the computer. I explained that it was my job to protect him and that the next time it could be a pervert or worse, an army recruiter. I told him he could have enlisted in the military and not even known it (I know it was a lie but I think it scared him). When I finished my talk, I said now give your mother a kiss.

,...every single day! AT LEAST! I've had a really difficult life the last several weeks (both personal and professional),...and confess I've gotten "bitchy", moody, difficult.

But, last night, as I was gathering "office clothing", I fell to my knees (forget details except anticipation of communting to "main office" employer abusing my ass), crying and angry and, well, scared as hell at "what's gonna' happen next". I AM A FIGHTER, scared of the future. I thought my son was in his room watching a movie. He was in the bathroom I headed towards with my "office clothing". The child I picked up most of my life, picked me up, off my knees. I was too tired to "think" or worse "over-think" what my nearly sixteen-year-old, young adult did for me. He picked me up and said, "it'll all be okay, Mom".

I am suppose to be his strength. I feel like a "bad" mom. except, I got through the day, with his help, his love.

when my husband was still alive, punishment in our house was picking him up and holding him between us and smothering him with kisses. He would actually come to us at times and tell us that he needed punishment. We only have each other now and he doesn't ask for punishment any longer, but I still smother him with kisses.

You're not a bad mom. Our sons probably know us better than we know ourselves, and he just gave back a little of what you have given him over the years. Be proud, he'll always be at your side.

At 54, I think I have about the same mix of tough and tender, cynical and hopeful, nice and grouchy, easy-going and stressed-out as I've been all along....In fact, stangely, I find I'm cycling back to some of the same underlying "personal issues" I had as na young 'un, but which had receded in my younger adulthood.

I've tried over the years to build up a tougher shell. But it still seems to be about the same width as always too.

One difference is that I do feel a little more detached than I used to be. I don't get quite as upset ot as excited about things as I used to. I have more of a sense of "This too shall pass."

I am so grateful to have her as a friend, a confidante, a kindred spirit. Amazingly, last week, I discovered she is ten years older than I thought!!!! DAMN!!!! :rofl:

more hugs and niceness and then he starts in with the teen age mouthiness and refusal to do any chores unless I stand on him and I have no hugs to give.


I know that kids survive the teen age years, but do the parents???

but.... i havent had my kids home, so no hugs or loving. i ran into my almost 14 year old nephew and hugged and huggged,.... lol lol and he let me. after a really long at least two minute hug, patted him on the back for being such a good sport, even at his age.

called forward and expressed.

And it's necessary to be able to do this rapidly -- and not to stay with some undesired face longer than necessary.

A difficult thing, made more difficult by those who'll try to call forward some face of your character in order to manipulate you -- or just to hurt you.

And you have to be conscious of your state of being, "trajectory" (past, especially recent), predispositions, etc, and correct for these, so as to have the desired effects, as these things can have countering influences.

I was able to walk into difficult territory without any change in expression, focused upon my "work", engaging in friendly negotiations and communications,...I amazed myself, at my ability to be so focused, in spite of my difficulties. I may be unemployed in the next week or so, but,...I still performed to the best of my ability.

If you aren't tough, you will completely raise a dilusional child. Also, with more parents out of the home, working longer hours for money that is stretched thinner and thinner, you have to set precedent and hammer it into their heads so that when they have to make the right or wrong decision hopefully they will pick the right decision. Parents aren't tough enough.. My grandfather said... "children should be seen and not heard" and "when your old enough to help out, you need to do so" Parents make things toooooooo easy for kids these days.

I am a younger person. But I find that parents these days give their children too much and make things way too easy. I will not be raising my children on the "give me" strategy. They will not lay down in the store and cause a fit for wanting something without knowing that their ass will feel the effects. They will not get an IPOD or a cell phone or computer time or t.v. time without earning it. It sounds harsh, but look at the children born in the give me error... Ever actually pay attention to kids these days. They have no clue to manners, approprietness, or the realities of where money actually comes from. And I'm sorry the good ole' days are gone. Wage is decreasing as the competition increases. AND these kids have no idea how hard its going to be.

Your kids will come home talking about how "so and "so" has this or gets that, laying on the "deprived child" syndrome every freakin' chance they get. ((((EEWWWWW))))) My parents interfere, always the "control master" by pulling me into an auto I cannot afford *grrrr*, my son wrecked learning to drive (sorry, I don't have the extra income to fix that which is WHY I wanted to make him save up to a a $2K truck rather than pay half on this $6K truck *but NO ONE LISTENS TO ME,...HMPTH). Maybe, I'll just stop paying them $200/mt since the did the deal and my future is so uncertain.

My son has not been deprived. He has seen more of this country than all his cousins combined. He has had new clothes while I've shopped at 2nd hand stores. He' NEVER been hungry. When times have been tough, his grandparents insured HIS wantings,...yet, this society drives him towards "wanting, wanting, wanting",....all the damn time. I HATE TV,...HATE IT,...because, if you aren't living with obscene fucking possesssions,...you aren't worth a damn. I HATE THAT,....and i don't hate.

I used to care very little about politics, though I've always cared about the human condition.

So, I must admit it's been surprising to find myself "cynical as hell" these days as my signature states. But the upside is that DU has been great for venting that cynicism and the anger and frustration that goes with it towards the powers that be. :evilgrin:

However, I don't let the evil thugs in DC poison my home life! No way! Daily, I shower hugs and kisses on my kid, hubby and our four legged friends. They are the ones who keep me sane and grounded.

The bottom line is: I WILL NOT LET "THEM" TAKE MY HOME & PEACE OF MIND TOO!