Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

retort to a black coworker

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread		 This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:01 PM
Original message
retort to a black coworker
Edited on Thu Jun-22-06 04:02 PM by Skittles
He said he thought gays should be able to get married but they shouldn't call it "marriage", they should call it "civil unions". I said, yeah, kind of like you can ride the bus, as long as you stay in the back. It rendered him utterly speechless. Good analogy or no? Out of line? Comments please.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:04 PM
Response to Original message
1. Perfectly valid.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Marnieworld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
2. More appropriate would be to remind him
That it wasn't such a long time ago that it was illegal to have an interracial marriage. If he fell in love outside his race would he be content to have a civil union?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:09 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. actually, we did discuss that
Edited on Thu Jun-22-06 04:12 PM by Skittles
the context was I had opined that people are up in arms now about gay marriage the way people were upset about interracial marriages not that long ago. That's when he piped up with the comment about civil unions. Yup.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Geoff R. Casavant Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:34 PM
Response to Reply #2
22. One of my favorite Doonesbury exchanges:
"Are you sure you should be helping us so publicly?"
"Yes, why not?"
"Well, I hear you're gay."
"Uh-huh. And I hear you're black."
"Yeah, but that's normal!"
"Didn't used to be."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
karlrschneider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
3. Bingo.
:-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. I had a "chat " with a local knucklehead about a week ago
He said "why should we let them get married?" I said, "why should we let them to pay taxes?"

Not out of line at all.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
6. nail on head.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
KurtNYC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
7. Gay people CAN get married
What we are after is the right to visit our spouse in the hospital, carry out their final wishes, etc. What we are after is LEGAL RECOGNITION of marriages.

As for the comparison to prejudice and discrimination against African Americans, I think the analogy breaks down where plenty of people cannot identify many gay people by sight. This means many gay people can pick the time and place for some of their battles which is a "luxury" (if that word can apply) that African Americans have never had.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. that is true
I guess what I was thinking was how "separate but equal" is usually just separate
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. Bad taste
You could have just as easily said "separate is not equal" and made the same point without being personal.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Disagree.
Bigots should be confronted directly.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. But you don't HAVE to be rude. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:16 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. There's nothing ruder than bigotry.
And Skittles put it much more politely than I would have.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Just because they behave badly
Doesn't mean that you should. The Ann Coulter approach is a loser every time.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:20 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. The Anne Coulter approach?
Son, the Anne Coulter approach would have been to call him a porch monkey, blame him for 9-11, and agree with him on gay marriage.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #15
18. I don't know whose son you think I am
But it is obvious that this is not going to turn into a civil conversation. Go ahead, take the last insult.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:34 PM
Response to Reply #18
21. alright quit it you two
I respect cosmik's opinion, I would not ask for opinions if I did not welcome them all. I do think the Ann Coulter thing is just a tad overboard though, it was not my intention to be ugly which is ALWAYS her intention
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:57 PM
Response to Reply #21
27. Please don't misunderstand
the Ann Coulter remark was a reply to "And Skittles put it much more politely than I would have." Not to the OP.

I was advocating non-personal, non-confrontational conflict resolution. I believe Bornagainhooligan was proposing a more Coulter-ish approach. Or so his remarks indicated.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #27
29. I would have just told him "fuck you."
I've got better things to do with my day than put up with people like that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cosmik debris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #21
30. He proved my point
He did not recognize that you have to work with this person tomorrow, next week, and next month. He never established that the person in question was indeed a bigot, and he never considered the the words "fuck you" might be a career killer. There may be some advantage to his approach, but it is not clear. On the other hand, the disadvantages are obvious. You decide.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. I'm a pretty direct person (no, not YOU Skittles!)
Edited on Thu Jun-22-06 04:28 PM by Skittles
and this guy is - *gasp* - somewhat conservative
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
jedicord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:24 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. You weren't behaving badly IMO, this wasn't an insult.
That's the purpose of analogies, to put a concept into a form that someone can relate to/understand. For instance, say I've never eaten a kiwi, don't want to because it's ugly. Someone says it tastes like a cross between strawberries and bananas, two fruit that I love. That would get me to be more likely to taste a kiwi.

On simplistic terms.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Catherine Vincent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'm okay with that.
But I probably would have used another analogy. He was tolerant of gay marriage apparently but was quibbling over the name. He may have taken it personal although that wasn't your intention.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:23 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. oh no, we are good friends
and he is "on the fence" politically - it's just he uncharacteristically did not have a comeback
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:27 PM
Response to Original message
20. Remind him of Loving v Virginia
where an African American woman and a Caucasian man where put in jail for getting married. It was one of those durn activist judges that * hates that finally put that travesty to rest.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
23. But he supports the idea of gay partner rights in principle
Who really cares what it's called, as long as gays are afforded full spousal legal rights. If someone can get full employer spousal health insurance coverage from a civil union, the war is essentially won, no matter what terminology is used. (A rose is a rose....)

As someone already pointed out, gays can already have a marriage ceremony if they want to. It's a question of getting the government to recognize the partnership.

So I think you might have been too hard on the guy. :(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
FreeState Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. Does that include the leagal right to call it Marriage?
If not it will never be equal rights.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
24. you can start discussions here, but you can't call them threads
WTF? :wtf:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 04:55 PM
Response to Original message
26. sounds ok to me, ok to put it back on him personally.
good analogy
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
butterfly77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 07:29 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. WRONG!
IF gays get the same right if you call it civil unions whats the difference? Won't gays have the right to recieve benefits or is it all about calling it marriage?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chaska Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-22-06 05:53 PM
Response to Original message
28. I'm finding the world very beautiful today. Thanks, Skittles. Awesome!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list Wed May 15th 2024, 08:37 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC