HURRY HURRY HURRY, STEP RIGHT UP! THE CIRCUS JUST HIT TOWN

The really biiiiiiig shew, however, is, of course, a highly trained chip in the center ring that is actually mastering his habit of ending each sentence with, "um" or "uh." Broadcasters will tell you that habit costs listeners. Police investigators, however, will claim those responses suggest a suspect is lying. Today he's babbling about that nasty old free press. He really needs to tighten up on those freedoms. We didn't really need them anyhow, right? Oh sorry, I asked, it's secret, so we can stay safe from bad guys. I hope none of you turn me in as a terrorist, for asking, like ClearChannel advises.

Ahhh but look over here... the right ring offers a carnivorous preying mantis on the high wire... She must balance shaming the memory of every hero that died on 9/11 with remaining humorous. I bet real mantids are laughing like hell as they slay files. Don't focus on her or you'll miss the show on the ground as 2,520 friends and family members parade into oblivion.

Move right along folks, nothing to see there, because here in the left ring we have every manner of beasty known by man or woman! There are chickens with eagles as cats sleep with beagles and magicians who must mystify. There are donkey-jackasses kicking yellow dog-masses sitting in bleachers with pie in their eye.