"What's that noise, your Honor?" "Oh, nothing. Just my penis pump".

npincus

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:28 AM
Original message

"What's that noise, your Honor?" "Oh, nothing. Just my penis pump".

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060628/ap_on_re_us/indecent_exposure

"Your Honor, why does your gavel contain a pneumatic device?"

"Your Honor, the bench appears to be levitating."

"Your Honor, what do you mean by, "Oh God, you're the best"?"

The jokes just write themselves....

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.

Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation. A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the "sh-sh" sound of air rushing through the contraption's plastic tubing.

The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.

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originalpckelly

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:30 AM
Response to Original message

1. ROTFLMFAO

Rolling on the floor laughing my fucking ass off.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:40 AM
Response to Original message

2. I'm so proud to be an Okie right now. n/t

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AndyA

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #2

3. Me too.

Just another day in the hypocrisy that is living in Oklahoma: Bible belt, Republican, bigoted, and small-minded. They say they're Christians...but they sure don't act like it. Ten minutes in traffic proves that. Would Jesus run red lights and cut you off?

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MADem

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:55 AM
Response to Original message

4. It sure took long enough for this case to come to trial

I remember reading about it some time ago. The guy is a sicko, no doubt:

Thompson's former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar "sh-sh" in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

"I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre," said Foster.

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said. "It was sickening."

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lies and propaganda

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Thu Jun-29-06 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #4

7. ha!!!!! where in Ok is this?

this is so something i would love Coburns opinion on.

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Hugin

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Thu Jun-29-06 08:58 AM
Response to Original message

5. "sh-sh" "sh-sh" "sh-sh"...

Hey, what's everybody looking at me for?

:yoiks:

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madokie

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Thu Jun-29-06 09:00 AM
Response to Original message

6. i have to set a watch this shit and read it in the papers, well actually I

don't read it. What a dumbass weirdo ex-judge. In my view all cases in his court is subject to being overturned because he didn't have his mind on the case at all. Only an deranged idiot would do this in the first place a real lunatic to allow it to go to trial in the last place.

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mumon

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Thu Jun-29-06 09:17 AM
Response to Original message

8. My favorite headline:

Penis pump judge faces stiff sentence
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/06/29/pneumatic_judge/

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Hugin

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Thu Jun-29-06 09:19 AM
Response to Reply #8

9. He'll probably do "Hard Time"...

:eyes:

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TheCowsCameHome

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Thu Jun-29-06 09:23 AM
Response to Original message

10. It was the Rush-O-Matic two speed model . Even works at 10,000 feet.

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npincus

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Thu Jun-29-06 12:46 PM
Response to Original message

11. kickin' for P.M. pumpers

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