My Day of Reflection – *World AIDS Day*

December 1st is always a very poignant day for me. It is a day when I look back at the years I have spent on the battlefront of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and remember all of the men and women fighting this illness who came into my life and changed it for the better.

When I first embarked in this field, we had no arsenal for which to fight HIV infection. Those newly-diagnosed (most often with AIDS) were told to write a living will and given a time line on how much longer they had to live. We dealt with serious life-threatening infections that ravaged the body, and we also dealt with ignorance not only from the community but from medical professionals and family members. I can’t tell you the number of times a physician would refuse to treat a person with HIV infection because they had a perceived notion they might somehow be at risk. It was truly heartbreaking when someone would tell us how his family had cast him out not because of his disease, but because of how he had contracted it. The enormity of issues facing those infected with HIV was overwhelming (and still is).

Eventually, we had a medication that held much promise in treating HIV infection. It was called AZT, and we participated in some of the very first clinical trials. Unfortunately, at the dose given, the drug was more toxic than helpful and most people in the study were discontinued because it damaged their muscles. But something was better than nothing, or so we thought. At this point we still had no diagnostic tests to tell us whether or not the drug actually halted HIV from growing in the body. All we could do was monitor the person’s CD4 count (a white blood cell the virus targets) to see if it increased. During this time we also conducted a vaccine trial that failed miserably.

Over the years, I have seen the advancement of drugs used to fight HIV infection grow from just AZT to a great number of drugs in several different classes. Each class of drugs works to halt replication of the virus at different sites; that’s why it is recommended that someone with HIV infection take a “cocktail” of drugs. These drugs aren’t perfect and they don’t always work for everyone but they’re all we have. We also depend on the individual to take them as directed because missed doses will cause resistance. I am still hoping and praying that some day we will find a drug that actually targets and kills the HIV virus. Right now, we are developing integrase inhibitors that will be available soon. The clinical trial data looks very promising.

Because of the medical advancements made and overall awareness about HIV infection, we have seen the disease move from one of a terminal illness to a chronic illness. That said, longevity has given us a host of other issues. The drugs aren’t benign and sometimes they quit working as well as they did at first. We still have patients we lose to highly resistant virus. I would like to say we’ve seen as big of a change concerning societal issues that we’ve seen in the clinical realm, but I can’t. We have seen improvement but there is still such a long way to go.

My experience, of course, has been within the United States where overall, medication and medical care are available for those infected with HIV. We need to recognize and understand that people in countries without these means are still suffering and dying without any hope of treatment and care. In Africa, eating is often the number one priority. I am saddened that the rest of the world hasn’t done enough to help and still hasn’t grasped the need to proactively work to stop the spread of HIV infection.

Today, I am mostly remembering the people who have touched my life - those who I’ve laughed with and shared warm conversations even in the face of grave adversity. They are the bravest and kindest souls I have ever known and I’d like to thank them for giving me a precious gift – enabling me to understanding that all human beings deserve respect and must be treated with dignity. That a smile and a touch can mean more than anything. If nothing else on this day, World AIDS Day, I want everyone to remember that.

John, Enrique, Ronnie, Al – you are gone now, but you will always hold a special place in my heart. I love you all.

Uninvited Guest

You are there at my awakening,
Every morning as I arise to meet a new day.

Every smile I make or tear I shed
Is shadowed by your presence,
And though no one can tell you're there,
You are ever so present to me.

Your grip is tight
So I feel you constantly.

You will not leave
So I must live with you,
And pray that you will be
More gentle with me
Than you have been with others.

I do not want you
But appreciate you,
For you have taught me to love
That which I have not loved before.

Life.

by Marcus Langston (12-21-59 to 07-24-93)

A family friend died of the disease over ten years ago.

My fear is that people just don't care anymore. :(

very touoching...thanks for posting this. :hug:

Thank you so much for posting it. :thumbsup:

I always remember a good friend of mine from high school. He was my first close friend to die from AIDS. Brian, you were so brave to come out when you did. Your heart was so huge, your spirit was so lovely, you introduced me to cool music and to Buddhism, and though you have been gone for almost 15 years, you live on in my heart.

I had a Aunt that died of the disease in 1988, I was only two years old and I never got to know her that well. So I understand how terrible this disease is and hope that there is a cure found soon.

What a beautiful and moving tribute......

Your eloquence touches me!

K&R

Thank you...

We lost Frank in 1984.

My first encounter with AIDS, in the early 80's (long before AZT and any other medication) was with the accountant of my dad's business. Before his death, he was the president of Zurich's Gay/AIDS counseling project. He's gone now too, but never forgotten.

When I first started doing this through agencies some twelve years ago, Marin County had many HIV sufferers.

The agency had a check box on the application asking if I would work with HIV infected.

I thought nothing of checking that box - after all, with minimal preventive methods, I would not be likely to get AIDS.

However, I came to find that many of my co-workers had been so terrified by the media of HIV positive people that I had (for a while) more work than I could handle.

And the people I had as clients as a result of this were among the best people I have ever met. Cheerful in the face of calamity, always helping others. In fact, one house bound AIDS victim had a special phone line into their home so others troubled by the disease could call for help.

I'm sure there are HIV sufferers who were not cheerful or not helpful (For instance, I doubt that I would be so positive in the face of such debilitation) but for whatever reason, those whom I met
were wonderful human beings, who will live forever in the hearts of those who knew them.

I post this in memory of Ray Lokken.

I know you've invested so much in this field and the people affected. Thanks for all you do.

:hug:

is also paying attention.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/photo.cms?msid=675636

With words and actions, we will eventually make folks aware.

k&r

Baby boy, I miss you still.

Thank you for posting, sparosnare, and for all your good works. :hug:

Friend who has relocated to South Africa sent me a link to an organization working to ease the pain of HIV/AIDS in that devastated continent.

http://www.stephenlewisfoundation.org/

Here are some of the appalling facts she included:

FRONT PAGE as reported in the Cape Times today, December 1, 2006.

*56% of South African children aged 15 now will not live to reach the age of 60
*The prevalence of HIV in age group 15 to 24 has fallen to 12.8% last year, down from a peak of 14.2% in 2004
*The under five mortality death rate was 58 deaths per 1 000 births in 2003 but had increased to 72 deaths per 1 000 by 2005.
*By 2000, HIV was responsible for 55% of deaths of women aged 15 to 24, 10 times more than the next biggest killer, TB.
*Despite the fact that 9 out of 10 women giving birth now do so under the guidance of a health care workers, women dying in or soon after childbirth almost doubled between 1998 and 2003. The major reason for the increase is that many of the pregnant women are weakened by HIV-related infections.
*More than 5 million South Africans live with HIV/AIDS. 12, 000 are estimated to be children.
*270,000 people live with HIV/AIDS in the Western Cape. Only 23, 000 people receive anti-retroviral treatment, with about 1 000 more a month needing treatment.
*The Western Cape provincial government currently distributes only 22 condoms per each man a year. Its goal is to increase distribution to 100 condoms per man.
*The Treatment Action Campaign has said that a million people need to be on anti-retrovirals by 2008. Currently there are just over 200,000 South Africans on anti-retrovirals.

Quoted source: The Demographic Impact of HIV/AIDS in South Africa: National and Provincial Indicators for 2006.

She also urges all to visit the UNAIDS website for more info on World Aids Day activities around the world and the most up-to-date info on HIV/AIDS:
http://www.unaids.org/en/

Its hard to believe that the AIDS issue has been, relatively swept under the media rug(so to speak). I remember during my youth, 80's/90's, when it seemed that the AIDS issue was forefront in a lot of media news agencies, it seemed that the wave of awareness was so...apparent, and strong. The past 6yrs or so, the only time I ever hear of the AIDS issue is in Dec, or when MTV news covers Bono's efforts...

Thank you for this post, its a stark reminder...:hug:

for your very moving message. peace to those we have lost and those of us left behind. :hug: