Student Ejaculates in Cafeteria Salad Dressing
» From the Masturbation Department
“A
High School student is expected to surrender to police Monday on charges that he doctored a bottle of salad dressing in the school cafeteria with his own semen in a practical joke that met with disgust. An arrest warrant has been issued for , 17, of unincorporated DuPage County near Wheaton, for attempted aggravated battery and disorderly conduct… allegedly took a bottle of ranch salad dressing from the juniors’ and seniors’ cafeteria on Dec. 6, went into a restroom, ejaculated into the bottle and returned it to the condiment cart, police said. School officials were told about the incident Tuesday after students who had heard about it came forward… , a senior at the west suburban school, has been ‘appropriately disciplined,’ district officials said… The contaminated salad dressing could have been used during the final lunch period Dec. 6 and during all five lunch periods on Dec. 7 before all of the dressing containers were routinely sanitized and refilled, according to a statement from School District 200. Supt. said officials have no way of knowing for certain how many children consumed it. Besides feeling disgusted, some in the school community were left wondering about possible health effects.” — Sun Times (US)
Though the offender is being charged as an adult and his name is being published by newspapers, PervScan is referring to him simply as Silly Teen. After all, that’s what he is. And hopefully obscuring his name will reduce the number of underage schoolmates arriving here from Google. PervScan is for adult readers only.
This is the kind of tasteless prank that probably happens more often than you want to know. Another article mentions that the film Jackass: Number Two inspired the idea in Silly Teen. You think he was the only one to fall under the pernicious influence of a semen-obsessed popular culture? Probably not. There’s cum in the blue cheese, piss in the vinegar, and caca in the bacon bits — and that’s just the salad bar. You don’t even want to know what hideous things a teen male will think to do to a jelly donut.
The irony, of course, is that the idiotic stunts that can make the producers of Jackass gobs of cash are likely to cause untold troubles to the monkey-see-monkey-do dolts who reproduce them in real life. The school said Silly Teen had been “appropriately disciplined,” and meanwhile he’s facing serious legal charges. The dumb kid will probably end up trading a page on MySpace for an entry on the state sex offender registry. And just imagine the countless hours of therapy he’s going to have to sit through. “Now tell me, Silly Teen,” the shrink will say, “for how long have you had these feelings of sexual excitement in the presence of ranch dressing?”
More:
http://www.pervscan.com/2006/12/20/student-ejaculates-in-cafeteria-salad-dressing/
See also:
School says student did ... what?
Allegedly put semen in cafeteria salad dressing
December 16, 2006
December 16, 2006
BY STEPHANIE ZIMMERMANN Staff Reporter
A Wheaton North High School student is expected to surrender to police Monday on charges that he doctored a bottle of salad dressing in the school cafeteria with his own semen in a practical joke that met with disgust.
An arrest warrant has been issued for Marco Raphael G. Castro, 17, of unincorporated DuPage County near Wheaton, for attempted aggravated battery and disorderly conduct. He is expected to be booked as an adult when he surrenders Monday, said Wheaton Deputy Police Chief Thomas E. Meloni.
More:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/175028,CST-NWS-SALAD16.article
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