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Edited on Tue Dec-26-06 02:00 PM by Cyrano
Yesterday was a wonderful Christmas for most sane Christians in the world who have never heard of, or declared, a "War on Christmas."
It was a lousy day for O'Reilly, Robertson, Dobson, and other nut cases who demanded that "Real" Christians take to the streets to vanquish us and our "War Against Christmas." Our field agents have reported in with updates.
O'Reilly was looking forward to many public lynchings of all "anti-Christmas" warriors. After his fourth bourbon, he fell into his Christmas tree and is insisting that Al Franken snuck his house and shoved him from behind.
Dobson spent the day praying for locusts to descend upon us. It turned out that his Christmas pumpkin pie was filled with maggots and at last report, he's still in the emergency room.
Robertson is presently in a funk speaking to God and demanding to know why our type wasn't smitten with fire and brimstone. It seems that a spark from his Yule log caused a fire and he's still trying to identify the deeds to his African diamond mines.
Perhaps God doesn't work in such mysterious ways after all.
Time to start planning for our "War on Easter."
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