What's Wrong With Cinderella?

Parents with young girls (like me) will be interested in this article from the Sunday NY Times Magazine. Do folks think it is just innocent fun for young girls or something that goes against everything the women’s movement has stood for over the years? Something in between?

I will say that my daughter is almost four and I have found it very hard to escape the Disney Princesses, though we both refuse to bring her to Libby Lu (also mentioned in the article)
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What’s Wrong With Cinderella?

I finally came unhinged in the dentist’s office — one of those ritzy pediatric practices tricked out with comic books, DVDs and arcade games — where I’d taken my 3-year-old daughter for her first exam. Until then, I’d held my tongue. I’d smiled politely every time the supermarket-checkout clerk greeted her with “Hi, Princess”; ignored the waitress at our local breakfast joint who called the funny-face pancakes she ordered her “princess meal”; made no comment when the lady at Longs Drugs said, “I bet I know your favorite color” and handed her a pink balloon rather than letting her choose for herself. Maybe it was the dentist’s Betty Boop inflection that got to me, but when she pointed to the exam chair and said, “Would you like to sit in my special princess throne so I can sparkle your teeth?” I lost it.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” I snapped. “Do you have a princess drill, too?”

She stared at me as if I were an evil stepmother.
“Come on!” I continued, my voice rising. “It’s 2006, not 1950. This is Berkeley, Calif. Does every little girl really have to be a princess?”

My daughter, who was reaching for a Cinderella sticker, looked back and forth between us. “Why are you so mad, Mama?” she asked. “What’s wrong with princesses?”

Diana may be dead and Masako disgraced, but here in America, we are in the midst of a royal moment. To call princesses a “trend” among girls is like calling Harry Potter a book. Sales at Disney Consumer Products, which started the craze six years ago by packaging nine of its female characters under one royal rubric, have shot up to $3 billion, globally, this year, from $300 million in 2001. There are now more than 25,000 Disney Princess items. “Princess,” as some Disney execs call it, is not only the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created; they say it is on its way to becoming the largest girls’ franchise on the planet.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/24/magazine/24princess.t.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin

Royalty is good. Someday your prince will come. Women can only succeed if rescued by a "prince."

It's appalling! It's worse than the TidyBowl comercials ... marketing houshold products to women with the insidious message that they're somehow 'failures' if they don't keep the house sparkling.

It's disgusting stuff ... particularly the glorfication of royalty, the most parasitic, corrupt, malignant class of humans ever bred on this sorry planet. As I've said, I think the Bolsheviks did exactly the 'right thing' when they wiped out the Czar and his family.

that princess shit. I think it teaches classism. Royalty is seen as something to respect and admire; that isn't a very good message for children.

as gifts from the in law family. She always beheaded them, left them face down in her swimming pool, or colored them with magic markers. I was secretly proud of her, pondered about the meaning of it all. She's 19 now and a very powerful spirit.

My daughter also called herself "Captain Jack" - the character Johnny Depp played in the two Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

At least Mulan, in the movie, is a strong and independent woman who is a hero because she saves the Emperor, and not because she meets Prince Charming, or gets kissed by a Prince...

I really, really, really wouldn't know what to do with a prissy prima donna (I did the same thing to Barbie's when I was growing up, too. I preferred Hot Wheels and Bryer Horse figurines).

and I gotta feeling you will! enjoy.

Something like this:

Me: "Honey you don't want to be a princess?"

Daughter: "Why not Tatko?"

Me: "For starters, they get nothing done and just take, take, take. They give nothing back. You're not that kind of person. You're not useless!"

Daughter: "Princesses are useless?"

Me: "Pretty much. How many times have you heard: 'You know what kind of person we need to solve this problem: A PRINCESS!'"

Daughter: "Never...but what if she's a 'super princess'?"

Me: "Then she'd be super useless!"

Daughter: "But she could help people!"

Me: "Can't a regular person do that?"

Daughter: "I guess, but they could do more if they were super!"

Me: "So be super!"

Either that or telling her that she's not a princess...she's the queen goddammit!

I take great pride in telling folks "No Disney Princess Sh*t Please!" when they ask about presents

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legos, she had a barbie once but lost interest quickly, "Mom it doesn't do anything" and right back to the lego bucket. Club Libby Lu--blech.

Every little girl is a princess until she grows up. We had one at our Christmas dinner. You should have seen all the presents this little girl got from doting relatives. I'm sure she felt special like a princess. Little girls aren't stupid and do know that the story is fantasy, but who doesn't want to imagine that she might meet prince charming after all? When they grow up they read romance novels to escape the mundane. That's all it is.

My little girl's favorite color is pink, she likes the Disney flicks, and her CD player is a pink Disney princess. She doesn't obsess about clothes, she's one helluva competitive athlete, and has great self esteem.

Little girls tend to follow their own path. Although I'm sure that it's possible to encourage awful behavior, it's also likely that little girls who grow up to be horrible princesses had tendencies in that direction in the womb.

My seven-year-old daughter loves barbies and princess stuff. She also is one of only three little girls playing in an otherwise all-boy basketball league at our local parks and rec. She likes those stupid Bratz dolls and sneaks on lip gloss when I'm not looking. That said, she'd rather run around outside catching frogs and lizards, barefoot and dirty, than do just about anything else under the sun.

What really matters is the quantity and quality of time and attention she is given by the adults that care about her and want her to live a happy and balanced life, not what kind of toys she plays with, IMHO.

:)

My 10yo's favorite color is pink and she adores dolls and Polly Pockets and when one of the boys in her class called her best friend (another boy) a fat slob, she called him on it and almost made him cry.

She's a princess all right.

But then she loves to read (as do I) and she's more independent-minded, and was intentionally made as more of a modern woman than previous characters. She is not content to settle down and raise a bunch of kids. (ok this is where I get geeky)

"We'll have 6 or 7."

"Dogs?"

"No, Belle! Strapping boys like me!"

"Imagine that..."


Ok I'll stop now...lol. Anyway...I don't buy all the Disney Princess crapola, just Belle, and none of that cheap plastic kiddie merchandise either.

You can have "Dinner with the Princesses" - but, you'll need to make reservations well in advance, like before you leave for your vacation.

But, it's like a regular dinner, only you sit down and Cinderella, Snow White, Belle & Jasmine come around to each table so your little princess can get a picture taken with each of them. And, it's only double the cost of a regular dinner. :sarcasm:

I'm just happy that the princess she likes the most is Mulan, since she is not really a princess in the movie.

of any place inside Disneyland. The food is better -- good, 3-course meals that children like-- rather than the overpriced, near-junk food available in the other concessions. And compared to them, the price is not out of line. Adults go to dinner theaters and clubs where they get entertainment having the chance to do so on vacation?

But, for us, when we do eat out, we tend to do it pretty cheaply. If we spend more than $30 for the three of us, it's a lot. For the first Valentine's Day after we got married, I brought my wife to a nice restaurant and my wife practically had a heart attack when the bill was over $50.

Although when I was forced to go to Disney World this summer (FL in August...fucking awful), I did get my picture taken with Belle @ Epcot (me wearing a Beauty & the Beast shirt I got @ Hot Topic). That was free at least...lol

Guess that's natural, with me being a librarian. But let's not forget that she gets into the quandry with the Beast because she sets out to rescue her father. Certainly a courageous role model.

I'm a bookworm, a daddy's girl, and the odd one out, so I guess I can really relate to Belle. I remember seeing that movie when it came out in theatres....^__^

Girls like wearing froufy dresses and pretending to dance at the ball--so what? As long as that's tempered by parents who encourage their little princesses to develop their imaginations and individual talents/strengths, let 'em have at it. A 3-, 4-, or 5-year old doesn't know from classist behavior--they just like to dress up in fancy clothes. Just observe the toddlers at my son's preschool who, during free playtime, immediately run for the princess dresses in the costume closet...then climb on the fire truck.

'Course, I don't have girls, so perhaps I shouldn't talk, but by the same token I don't try to strongarm MG Jr. away from his cars just because he's latched onto a stereotypical type of toy for boys.

I do, however, have a major issue with all the pink that's being foisted on little girls. Head-to-toe pink clothes, backpacks, bikes... Blech. It was never that way when I was little. I hope that trend goes by the boards sooner rather than later.

But, with Disney it has been really magnified the past 5 years or so.

When I was growing up. I still love her. She is no Princess, but for her free spirit and her ability to say "SILLY ASS" :applause:

My daughter loves it. The fairies are sassy, they all have special talents they're to use, and they play rough and tumble games (it's in the new books). Instead of the princesses (although I'm partial to Belle and Mulan, personally), we do Tinkerbell and the other fairies or Violet from The Incredibles.

although I do not agree with the author.

My kidlet is 4, loves Ariel and gymnastics and Disney movies and hates to dress up except in play (or if we are going to an SCA event). It's all about balance - she sees that her mommy works and her daddy stays home to care for her; she sees that daddy cooks and sews and mommy cuts the lawn; she likes "Thomas the Tank Engine" and "Cinderella". She gets plenty of messages and examples in her home life that women are intelligent, strong and self-reliant. Playing with a Barbie doll or dressing up like a princess is just that - play. It's not going to warp her for life. I see it as a way of exploring alternatives through play.

The two who are 4 and 6 are sisters, and although they like the Princesses, they also like radio-controlled cars (their favorite christmas present this year), unicorns, faeries, stuffed animals, blocks, and puzzles.

The 5 year old is completely ga-ga over the Disney Princesses, especially Ariel. However, she also enjoys playing with other types of toys and watching other types of movies.

I agree with the article to a degree, but I think that having 'girly' toys like the Disney Princesses are OK, as long as they are balanced with other things.

I mean really--camouflage for the under-five set? How sick is that?

When my nephews were little, it was nearly impossible to find clothes for them that didn't feature either a military or a pro sports theme, and since those are the two aspects of machismo that I hate the most ("Every male must be mean and dumb and love pro sports above all else"), shopping for presents for them was frustrating. In the end, I always found something with animals or wilderness scenes or trains or airplanes or simply no picture or slogans at all.

It seems as if commercial interests are trying to widen the gender gap and exaggerate the characteristics of each gender from an early age. The girls are dressed as if they're dancing in Swan Lake (or going out to pick up johns on the street) and the boys are dressed as if they're on a pro basketball team (or are fresh from boot camp).

At Thanksgiving, we got out pictures taken during the childhood and teen years of me and my brothers, and the nieces and nephews were surprised at how "dressed up" we looked. My brothers were wearing shirts with buttons, pullovers, and chino pants. I was wearing a jumper with a blouse or a skirt and sweater. It's ironic that in those years when gender roles were pretty rigid in real life, the everyday clothes for both genders were functional and rather plain. Even my dressiest dresses when I was a little girl still looked like normal dresses, only with a few extra ruffles.

It seems to me that parents have surrendered to the commercial world and allowed it to dictate how their children, even their youngest children, will dress. Perhaps parents who are appalled at such commercial exploitation of their children need to get together and boycott this idiocy.

I have a cousin who has a 1-year old son.

We found out with the shower announcement, they planned on a "hunting & fishing" nursery. No shit, there was a rifle on the freaking shower announcement. I've heard that the sheets for the crib were camo. Everything camo. I still can't believe it.

He's a darling cute and sweet little boy, but I wonder what's going to happen to him when he's a little older. How will all this "hunting and fishing" foisted on him since before birth will effect him?

Oh and on the topic of princesses:

One of my nephews is 5. One of the big put-downs at school for the boys is something along the lines of "you're going to get the 12 Dancing Princesses." There's apparently a Disney DVD with dancing princesses. :shrug:

Oh and I loved the princesses, yet in middle school I was a tomboy, and today I'm still strong headed and independent.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

my Mom and brother and SIL think. Well, I think most of the family thinks WTF on that, but I haven't actually had a conversation with my other cousins on it. And no one else in the family has freaking hunting & fishing for the nursery, so I think it's an isolated case with just this one.

what then?

If he'd rather go out into the woods and watch animals instead of shooting them, will his parents make him feel like a failure? What if he would rather stay home and read?

the father, my cousin, I never knew him to be a big hunter. I mean, when we were growing up he never talked about hunting. Actually I've never heard him really talk about hunting. But the wife showed up to the family Christmas party wearing a "Ducks Unlimited" shirt, which is a reference to duck hunting. I think she's the one that stuck on the camo thing.

I know his grandparents won't care if he's a hunter or not, but I wonder what the reaction of the mother will be if he does turn into something other than an avid hunter.

edited to add: I did go fishing with my cousin once when we were 10. But the wife during the party said something about liking camo. The whole situation is just surreal.

She can be strong and independent and fight her own battles.

But when she was 6, she worshipped them all. I know. I stepped on them all in the dark. Ouch.

I think girls play with dolls and boys play gangsters and they all get over it eventually.

My daughter is independent and strong, and never expects special treatment or anyone to do anything for her. She's the perfect student.

Not to worry. Let it all happen. If you're a strong mother, your daughters will be strong, too.

so, I hope my daughter takes after her in that regards... my wife has 2 master's degrees and moved across the world by herself when she was in her 20s.

different about your daughter, go ahead and raid the Barbie isle. Let her live it out and it will remain in her childhood.

I've been a teacher for 24 years. They all become their parents.

Enjoy!

My daughter does seem to have inherited my wife's temper! :evilgrin:

Hopefully, she'll get my teeth and 20-20 vision.

Thanks for being a teacher, too.

Everything had to be princess -- for a while.

Now she's a top student who rarely gets a B (and when she does, it's traumatic), plays basketball and several instruments, and wants to be a music major. Even better, she, and her sisters, are taking it slow with dating; they've had a few boyfriends, supervised dates, but aren't buying into the "vamp" routine that so many young girls put on. (I want them all to experience the joys of love, but life gets very complicated too early as it is.)

fascination with the princesses to wind up with a teenage princess. If the message a girl gets is "men have the power" then you'll be seeing her look to men for everything. But if the message is "have your own power" a few disney characters won't send her prematurely into the arms of the first guy who shows interest in her.

My daughter is well into her senior year and knows that boys are friends but nothing serious at this point. They're all off to college and so the romance thing really doesn't have any hold over them right now.

Ms MZr7 gets treated like a "princess" often, and while I would not dare put words in her mouth, it is my understanding she really appreciates the extra effort and care she receives much like many a storybook princess.


MZr7

note: comments directed at the article not the OP.

from this kind of thing. There's nothing wrong with making a child feel special, but I think a lot of other stuff could easily get wrapped in that package.

But it's still the same horseshit gender roles and unrealistic body types and images--things that are not good for young girls. The message seems to be: be thin, be pretty, and wait for your prince charming-- don't go out in the world and make your own self.

My SO's nieces are obsessed with the Disney princess shit.

don't have an independent life of their own. With the arguable exception of Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) none of them are staying home and waiting for their Prince to come along. Aladdin is the only guy in the bunch who has adventures of his own. The rest exist just as a sort of appendages to the princesses, who (at least in my granddaughters' play--and contrary to Disney publicists' plans according to the Times piece) have their most interesting interactions with each other.

Because you're absolutely right-- the male characters (minus Aladdin) are still restricted by cultural norms.

She outgrew it and is a very strong, independent young woman. She came home early last night because everyone was drinking at a guy's house and pairing off and she didn't want any part of that.

I'm really proud of her. She makes really good decisions that define who she is becoming.

My 10yo loves Disney Princess stuff. I suspect she'll out grow it as well.

this tripe.

I'm glad I have a son now so that she will have an older brother to look up to and so he can teach her to play with cool toys, like science kits and race tracks and I'm here to teach her how to ride horses and work hard for a living.

EVERYONE around me wants me to have a girl this time around, but I'm frightened by that prospect because of the very thing you mention: the pigeon-holing of our society of girls into roles that are either unrealistic (body roles, princess roles, etc.) or totally demeaning (my God, did you know they have pole-dancing kits for toddlers!!!).

I assume I'll be OK if it is a girl, but, being a woman has made me realize how tough it is to grow up female and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. :(

A few things:

1) As the person at Disney noted in the article, they were just capitalizing on a market that was already there. Despite this, girls perform better in school and make up a majority of college students. That said, I'm somewhat okay with the Disney stuff for my daughter, as she'll some days want to be pirate Captain Jack Sparrow instead of Mulan or Snow White. However, I'm completely against things like that Libby Lu store (our local mall has one) - putting on make-up and glitter is just too much for me.

2) When I was growing up, boys were expected to play sports, be aggressive, to not cry when hurt, etc. Additionally, I graduated high school in 1985 and college in 1989 and it was still almost unheard of for a girl/young woman to ask a boy/young man out on a date. And, I went to high school and college in the blue state of Connecticut. So, it was a very painful 8 years for me being a very shy guy - I didn't have a date until my sophomore year of college and my first girlfriend my senior year for a grand total of 6 weeks. I ended up marrying (and quickly divorcing) the first woman that asked me out.

power of stories.

While I think entirely too many parents try to fit their kids into roles, I think it's no less sad when kids are denied access to them because of a political bias.

i know why you hate it