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Chertoff was locked out of the DHS office building for hours today!

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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:56 AM
Original message
Chertoff was locked out of the DHS office building for hours today!
Just heard this on Bernie Ward'ss show. Apparently, DHS had a new security system installed because they believed the building wasn't secure, but Chertoff was the only one who knew the code to gain entry, and HE FORGOT IT! He also had a security question, but he forgot that too!

Bernie said Chertoff was still locked outside of the building at 2:30 this afternoon!

Bernie is rolling on the floor laughing, and SO AM I!!!!!!
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upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:58 AM
Response to Original message
1. makes good sense to lock him out
monkeys could do better
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tyedyeto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:01 AM
Response to Original message
2. ROTFLMAO!
He forgot the codes?????

And he is entrusted to keep our country safe?
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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:05 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Actually, we're probably better off with him locked out!
At least he can't do anything disasterous from the sidewalk!
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aquart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:01 AM
Response to Original message
3. Damn.
I hoped you were going to tell me it was to execute a warrant on his office.
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The_Casual_Observer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:11 AM
Response to Original message
5. It's a damn good thing that Osama wasn't chasing after him
with an anthrax bomb or something today!!!
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arcane1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:13 AM
Response to Original message
6. damn, if only that could have meant something...
starts with an R, ends with a TION
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rodeodance Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:14 AM
Response to Original message
7. funny, thanks
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:14 AM
Response to Original message
8. Yet another demonstration of the futility of satire. n/t
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NYC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:29 AM
Response to Original message
9. So, everybody was locked out of the building?
Edited on Tue Mar-14-06 02:29 AM by NYC
If Chertoff was the only one who knew the code, everyone was locked out of the DHS building.

Unless everyone else got in before the code was changed. Did he knock?

Doesn't this make you feel secure?

Edit: Who needs The Onion?
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:34 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. LOL!
You know, you are right. I haven't read the Onion for quite a while (not that I don't like it).

It's just that (sur)REALITY is much more entertaining these days. :D
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Pachamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #10
25. Sometimes, Truth is stranger than fiction...
So, for a short while today, the homeland actually was secure....

:hi: Swamp'r!
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #25
31. Way'at Pachamama!!
:hi: :hug:
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Pachamama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-15-06 02:53 AM
Response to Reply #31
34. Back at'cha Swamp Rodent!
:hug:
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BR_Parkway Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #9
21. They don't work there 24 hours? So, terrorists are only allowed
to attack us between 9 and 5? There should be a warning sign around these people - Keystone Kops isn't even enough.
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rumpel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:46 AM
Response to Original message
11. this so funny. I have a tummy ache from
:rofl:

thanks, I have had a really trying day dealing with the financial institutions. This made my day. Now I can go to bed. karma works in wonderous ways.
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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:51 AM
Response to Original message
12. This can't be true
If it is, Jon Stewart can do a 3 hour special on it.
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Tsiyu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 04:09 AM
Response to Original message
13. And some of us worry that these people will "take over" allof us
:rofl:

I picture Chertoff standing outside the door, his fly open, drooling and scratching his head.
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file83 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 04:33 AM
Response to Original message
14. "Security Question"? He's Chertoff! Let him in! Are we to believe he
had to make a phone call to ADT or some shit? Don't tell me the DHS is outsourcing their security systems to private contractors. Please don't tell me that.

The Director of DHS can't get into his office, but highjacked airplanes can hit the Pentagon. George Washington just rolled over in his grave.
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WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 05:58 AM
Response to Reply #14
18. Actually, yes, they are... I think I read
that Wackenhut provides security for the old Naval Comm Station where DHS is located.

which is, for those of you who don't know, Nebraska Ave and Mass Ave, NW, Washington, DC

does that make me a terror suspect?
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C_U_L8R Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 04:49 AM
Response to Original message
15. Skeletor should have his own
skeleton key
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MADem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 04:58 AM
Response to Original message
16. Well, get a load of THIS!!! Covert operators listed on the WEB!!!
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/13032006/323/cia-personnel-offices-easily-found-internet.html

CHICAGO (AFP) - The names of CIA personnel, including covert operatives, internal telephone numbers and locations of two dozen CIA installations can be found through Internet searches, a US newspaper reported.

Through online services that provide public, legally obtained information for a fee, a reporter netted a directory of 2,600 Central Intelligence Agency employees and 50 internal phone numbers, according to a Chicago Tribune investigation.

The Chicago daily also discovered the identities of CIA operatives assigned to US embassies in Europe.

At the request of the CIA, the newspaper did not release the names of the operatives. It did quote an unnamed source saying CIA director Porter Goss was "horrified" at the discovery....

This guy is as incompetent as Chertoff! Ya gotta ask yourself, WHO in this administration IS, in fact, competent? I think we're down to the person who makes the wee cowboy his peanut butter sandwiches, and the grounds crew at the WH....
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katinmn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 07:31 AM
Response to Reply #16
20. Oops!
:+
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WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 05:55 AM
Response to Original message
17. it was probably hacked by the DOD cabal
that is too funny.

almost as funny as McClelland and the Army of the Potomac being stuck in the mud in the Civil War
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kanrok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 06:28 AM
Response to Original message
19. Who says Homeland Security isn't effective now?
What a hoot.
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
22. I hope someone emailed the Daily Show
and Olbermann!
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eppur_se_muova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
23. Hilarious...but I was hoping it was a hint that he should "spend more time
Edited on Tue Mar-14-06 09:35 PM by eppur_se_muova
with his family."

YER DOIN' A GREAT JOB CHERTY!

(It had to be said :evilgrin:)
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mb7588a Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
24. the hilarity is in the plausibility. nt.
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Justice Is Comin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 10:51 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. He probably didn't know the door
opened --- in.
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proud patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
26. way to go chert
:eyes:
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:01 PM
Response to Original message
28. heck of a job, Chertie
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Generic Other Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:04 PM
Response to Original message
29. That is funny but scary
That guy is as incompetant as...well...as all the rest of them!
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NastyRiffraff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:18 PM
Response to Original message
30. Hard to tell these days....
Which stories come from The Onion and which are real.

Soon, The Onion will publish real, true stories like this one and no one will know the difference.

Some jokes just write themselves.
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in_cog_ni_to Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:28 PM
Response to Original message
32. OMG! They're all a bunch of BUMBLING IDIOTS!
:rofl: He forgot the code and password and didn't have the presence of mind to right it down for safe keeping?:rofl:
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spacelady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 11:44 PM
Response to Original message
33. "Whassup?" Chertoff - "I forgot the code" Pssst what's the code?
Chertoff, "I forgot, man c'mon let me in!"
Security, "Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin."
Chertoff, " I AM the Director."
Security, "No, Man that's not it."
Chertoff, "I AM YOUR BOSS!!"
Security, "What's the code?"
Chertoff, "You are Fired!"
Security, "Not even Close."
Chertoff, "YEEEEAAAARRRGH!!!"
Security, "You're getting warmer!"
Chertoff, "I'm coming in anyway, you asshole"
Security, "BANG"
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Garbo 2004 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-15-06 03:13 AM
Response to Original message
35. Source of story: Andy Borowitz's satire/humor column. It's satire.
Unless, that is, one believes this also happened:

As of late this afternoon, Mr. Chertoff was still standing outside the building waiting to gain entry after a locksmith who was called turned out to be from Dubai and had to be sent away.

Mr. Chertoff also declined Vice President Dick Cheney's offer to shoot off the lock on the building for fear that Mr. Cheney might hit the Department of Agriculture building across the street.

Borowitz's column here: http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_32799.shtml
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