TUNA. Under the BED.

"Stating that no one in the world is prepared for an influenza pandemic, HHS Secretary Michael Leavitt said, "When you go to the store and buy three cans of tuna fish, buy a fourth and put it under the bed. When you go to the store to buy some milk, pick up a box of powdered milk. Put it under the bed. When you do that for a period of four to six months, you are going to have a couple of weeks of food, and that's what we're talking about."

Now we're seeing the Warner-Brothers version of reality. This is high comedy. Everything else in this horrible, murderous administration is described as "laughable" or "a joke" because of sheer deceit and willful neglect. When Bush says something utterly and profoundly stupid -which is always- I don't laugh; I become more embarrassed, afraid, and saddened.

But when a GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL tells me to put cans of tuna UNDER MY BED (my presumption here is that it was said with a STRAIGHT FACE and a trace of the excitement of revelation) I nearly spat tea all over my keyboard. The sense of this all not being quite real hit me like a pile of ACME Earthquake Pills (just add water). It hit me like a boulder falling on my tiny umbrella.

Neocons, I defy you to ever accuse me of being melodramatic or over-the-top again. Your Tuna-Under-The-Bed administration will not be lived down.

everybody needs DUCK Tape :grr:

bushco full of Chicken Hawks. Why, yes, there is a theme and it's all foul fowl

*chuckle*
*gaffaw*

:rofl:


thanks!

:rofl:

nuclear bombs from entering your skin right?

Means that you won't hit the ground the same time as everybody else.

You might as well just duct tape the plastic sheeting around you like a body condom. That will keep you safe. ;)

I think we're onto something here. :bounce:

Maybe I'll double wrap. ;)

Rice. In bulk.

Cheaper than tuna or milk.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS at work.

If I sleep on protein, maybe I'll assimilate it. :toast: <--Here's the wheat!

Seat N' Eat! }(

Hey, do you think you can patent that? The seat-n'-eat? }( :applause: :rofl:

We could have a whole line of Seat 'N Eats to appeal to any demographic: The Chilibean, The Lentil (Kosher Seat N' Eat), the Great Northern, etc. Furniture and emergency food supply kit all wrapped into one neat package. Now what can we do about the tuna?

And make sure to put a big bag of rice right under the upholstery fabric. This makes the chair comfier.

And tuna for the cats.

Okay, I'm ready for the Rapture!

You're never too cool for Kool-Aide, if you're a repig...

shortage as well, you are out of luck. I guess you also need water to drink powdered milk too, if you go for that kind of thing. Blechhh...:puke:

I think we should have a haiku contest called "Tuna and Powdered Milk"

I'll start:

"Milk is safe, powdered;
Better with Tuna from under
the place where you sleep.'

"Powder milk to eat;
we have drunk tuna water
Bed is empty now"

:applause: :spray:

kitty sings my praise
storing tuna under bed
powdered milk in reach

Mix tuna juices
With powdered milk for a shake.
Don't mind the dust mites.

If it helps pay off the deficit by all means advertise starkist tuna!

The cats will kill the birds before you can get bird flu. Problem solved.

:spank: Mr. Buddypants says he has no interest at all in becoming a health monitoring device.

:D

frequently ;(

she had something stuck on her butt and it seems that was where she really wanted to keep it. yowch

(we really need a cat smiley.)

I grew up with a calico cat--she lived to be eighteen.

actually, this is my last post for the night; I'm going to crawl under the bedclothes with her and dream of a better place.

The sweetest dreams to you, CrazyOrangeCat. :pals: :toast: :loveya: :loveya: :hug:

. . . sweet dreams.

:o :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: the orange cat!

As are my kitties:



:-)

Yum!

From one of my favorite websites!
:rofl:

For additional protein in case of emergency. Never mind.

"usual manner" as per instructions of yesteryear.... cheers!!

Just hanging around for the next two years, right?

I like that glaze on her eyes too. Where can I get some? :D

I hear that republicans are "happier" than Democrats. LOL!

purchase Viagara with "soft money".

Sent from the Deeeee Aitch Esssssss.....

Whoops...Wrong sub-thread....

All I got left under my bed is a can of cream corn, a flashlight and a baseball bat. That'll have to do. :eyes:

Don't you store your canned goods under the bed like normal people do?


:+


You just know that in the original version they wanted to say 'under the mattress' until someone pointed out the obvious problem with that advice.

:o

"under the mattress"? REALLY? It's worse than I thought!

at least I think I did. With that crew, who knows?
:+

or you'll end up in Gitmo.

"Mmmmmmm tuna. Sweet, sweet, government-sanctioned tuna.

(Government Tuna is a good name for a band . . .)

Sorry. :spank:

The Mormon Church requires their members to have a year's supply of food, water, etc. for emergencies. There's a whole thriving survival business out there. He's just bringing his religion to gov't...

i'm sure the cats would learn to use the can opener!

. . . the one on the left. Definitely not a problem for him.

:D I missed you!

they have demonstrated that they can actually use computers.

I was kitty-sitting for a friend, and walked into the kitchen to see one of her cats batting the cat food off the counter, and the big tom backing the can (with a pop-top lid) into a corner, and hooking his claw into the pop top--damn near got it open!!

I'd LOVE to post it here and there and send it to a few people.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=102&topic_id=2171006&mesg_id=2171006

}( :rofl:

...what an utterly stupidass statement. First, duct tape, now tuna? I have never seen such rediculous idiocy coming from a gov't. Ya just can't make this shiite up.

:rofl:

it?

Duct tape and plastic wrap, next to a poster of the color code terror alert chart, along with some cans of Star-Kist, maybe in front a mural of a flooded New Orleans.

Really great.

Hope they include the classic photo of the Chimperor, trying to pull open that locked door in Beijing . . .

:yourock: Both of you!

:puke:

Plastic turkey = nothing! And that Army jacket? Oh, God!

BTW, this is the first time I've ever used that smilie,but I think it's appropriate: :puke:

What an incredible plastic prez he is . . .

:banghead: :applause: :rofl: :loveya:

I think this is where I blush.

:blush:

Including Pickles talking about the resident milking horses.And putting food on our family.Is our children learning?

it was a stallion. nyah haha

Oddly, my dating life has taken a nose dive.

baby oil, wink.

:rofl:

Two birds, yanno.

I store out-of-season clothing under my bed. I Will Not store food under there. That is what the pantry is for, idiots. Sheeesh. And no, I don't have a collection of duct tape and plastic tarps. No one would bother to attack our village, there is nothing strategic here.

Tawdry personals ad.

:evilgrin:

-Hoot

he was criticizing Clinton's efforts to provide affordable medical care, and told an anecdote about how they paid for catastrophic coverage in "his day":

They would "pass the hat" or take up a collection for the person in need, i.e., "help pay for Jim's appendectomy, toss a nickel in the hat". :eyes:

Yeah, that's a helluva insurance system there. "Sorry Jim, we couldn't take out your infected appendix-- we didn't sell enough cupcakes at the bake sale."

Just goes to show how totally disconnected these Repukes are from reality.

Hiding tuna under the bed, ramen behind the radiator, and stuffing our mattresses with dried beans.

:* :eyes: :bounce: :toast:

maybe I'll stuff some cheese behind the chest of drawers. Or some trout in the toilet tank.
:loveya:

:7

than a buck and a half and a pound of butter nowadays.

You know, just like any normal person.

Yes. Normal. I'm normal. I'm just as normal as everyone else. Why wouldn't I say it, right? Normal. I'm normal. Anyone got a problem with that?

:spray: :patriot:

what about BREAD???

Oh, by the way, I went to Harris Teeter last night and I saw that the tuna section was all but WIPED OUT. I wished I had my camera with me.

:o

as for bread, you could make your own from shelf-stable ingredients. I actually do that anyway. (Yes! I have powdered milk in my house, for bread-making. But it's not under any of the beds so I'm probably going to get a fine from the Food Police.)

Those guys are crazy if they think I'm stickin' my hands under my bed! They've been telling me for years now that it's teaming with bogeymen down there. NO WAY!

in case of the bird flu. You can't be too careful! :P :rofl: :patriot:

I have a platform bed. I have a couple of cans of tuna in my pantry, but I guess I'm gonna die...can't... get...them... under... the... bed.

:rofl: Remember, we're in Looney-Tunes land now; anything goes. I'd say gravity's next on the Bush hit-list. :D

Some help THIS guy is!

The next suggestion is that we all stick our heads in the sand. :wtf:

for the good of our country, doubtless.

Secondly, for the good of our very own safety. It really takes BALLS for this ridiculous administration to tell us we're on our own.

:grr: :nuke:

We're on our own?

;-) X a THOUSAND.

But they don't have the bodies or the minds to comprise us. That's me being optimistic. :D

apparently, mr. leavitt, you do not have my love of shoes!

;-)

( smacking self upside head ) :)

I'd much rather stock up on alcohol, drugs, porn, and ...screw it. I think they are trying for their own Y2k type government induced mass panic attack to get people's knees shaking again. I'm trying to look for the best to come and not all this terruh and disease. Oh, I forgot, Bush is pretzeldent. What were the horrors the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse brought with them. Yep, that'll be what the next three years will be like, much like the last 5 years. Brother. *sigh* How depressing.

"extra" FAT BAG of fucking money...and put THAT under my freaking bed :rofl: :loveya: :hippie: HHS my lilly white ass :thumbsdown:

I like to rub mine on my calloused elbows. What about you?



:D

before my cabana boy sets cucumber disks onto my haggard eyes that have had to suffer the slights of so many peasants prior to my basking my glory under the Tuscan Sun; oh yes...it's a dog's life...but big ole fat bags of money help to round off the edges :-)

they must be making money off this some way...
:-)

:eyes:
rocknation

Don't care for seafood, and just like when my momma tried oh so many years ago to get me to eat it, you will fail to scare me into hoarding cans of it under my bed. Where I have to sleep. And have nightmares about you and your jacked up policies, and dreams of better days. Nuh uh. Not happenin'. Sorry Charlie.


Hi Sugar Smack. Stellar post. :hi:

:hi:

Thank you for that- the mental picture I got when I read his quote was of someone who'd gone completely round the bend and stored food under the bed. I've read countless books on eating disorders and THIS is the first sign of trouble.

It could be anything and everything with these people.

:shrug:

Whatever it is, it's not right. I can't wait to have people in charge who get this junk out of their systems on the couch instead of in public policy. That will be nice.

i saw a report on...i think it was 60 minutes...the guy(scientist) who first identified the bird-flu virus has himself stockpiled a 3-month supply of food and water- and i'm with him.

if this thing becomes an air-borne pandemic, i plan to lock the doors and stay inside for at least a couple months.

That I could have lived with without comment. But "Buy TUNA and put it under your BED" is absolutely over-the-top. But I DO see what you're saying. It's smart to be prepared for anything.

:hi:

ok, why under the bed? I have cabinets for food storage.
Is tuna and powdered milk the cure for bird flu?
Can I hide Spam instead?
Were any of these asshats actual people before they started working for this bunch of looney tunes?

and then of the cartoons. This is SO like that- the fact that it occured to the guy that this was the FIRST place to begin storing food. Like those gophers who store nuts under their beds! Or a Wile E. Coyote sketch. It's also really funny that those were the ONLY two foods he'd mentioned.

"Were any of these asshats actual people before they started working for this bunch of looney tunes?" That is a DAMN good question!

The tuna will go well with your "Terrist Frog Men!"

Warning...It may clash with your Chanel # 5!

coupla dabs of tuna oil behind the ears . . . an' yer a chick (er . . . I mean cat) magnet.

It's your third date.

You're thinking, "This may be the one". You've arranged yourself on your bed with a come-hither look. Your date steps in your bedroom, glances down at the tuna cans,eyes wide, glances at his/her watch, and suddenly has to leave.



:rofl:

A feller could have his afternoon delight and a sammich, all in one fell swoop!

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou tins of tuna?
Deny thy powdered milk and refuse thy chicken o' the sea;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my emergency pantry,
And I'll no longer be a Catulet.

:spray: Not only that, your post was genius!

the door. :o

And I love that pic. :applause: :rofl:

Just don't get it!!!! Tuna and powdered milk.....what are they trying to tell me, or what are they NOT telling me.

What will I do with the porn that is under there now?
:shrug:

:think:

Good one, ehrnst! :thumbsup:

If I put that stuff under MY bed, that's what I'd be eating during the pandemic.

"dust bunny casserole"


:rofl:

Allow yourself to drift off into a deep sleep, unfettered by any nightmares, knowing that the cache of tuna and powdered milk underneath you will keep you safe. :spray:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

This is probably not the time to tell y'all that I have most of my food storage under my bed...

(giggling nervously)

I caint help it, I don't have any cabinets!

I sleep on one of those blowup beds. oops. no under the bed at all either!

and believe me, every time these MAROONS make another statement like that, I buy another box of cartridges!

Are we gonna have to defend our tuna against our neighbors? Hey wasn't this already on the Twilight Zone in the 50's?

under the bed. What a bunch of fucking looney tunes. Powdered milk? Don't think so. Especially with Tuna.

With Sammy Jackson saying:

Tuna! We got muthaf**kin tuna under the bed!

PhotoShoppers, I charge ye with this task!

mikey_the_rat

Check out my lame photoshop:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4903237

mikey_the_rat

Everyone should have a supply of food that will last without refrigeration and doesn't need electricity to be cooked. I was reminded of this when a Tornado swept through my town last Sunday. I still don't have power.

I am very sorry to hear that. How are you coping? Is there assistance for the people in your area or did they leave you to your own devices. Let us know if you need anything. Honestly. :-)

People are getting help because it is a city-wide problem. I'm staying with family and doing fine.

It must be tough.

it's the way they think they have to give us their little examples, see children? you could keep this can under your bed. Isn't that fun??
I've lived in earthquake country, tornado country and now rain and flood country and yeah, ya need stuff stored up. I don't like being patronized by old rich white men.

That way madness lies.

However, I do keep my pantry well-stocked. Who knows when someone will break a leg and not be able to get around so easily... or, yeah, bird flu, swine flu, etc.

while having sex? Hmm.
Anyway the thing that really angers me is the way these people talk down to us as though were are slow children. The country got along without them before they were here and please god will be when they are gone.(and soon I hope). I am so happy those senior citizen's jumped *s ass at that talk he gave. Getting old ladies mad is a bad idea.

You're welcome to come share.

Redstone

These people are sooooooooo stupid. Shouldn't we be firing them? I mean in the private sector that they love so much, they would be fired.

Peanut butter and crackers under the bed. Ugh.

under the bed? What do they want me to do, feed him tuna?