Top Ten Signs You're A Fundamentalist Christian....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

The rest at: http://duggmirror.com/political_opinion/Top_Ten_Signs_You_re_a_Fundamentalist_Christian_6/



EDIT: What's a post without smilies?

EDITEDIT: Fixed dugg link.

but the bronze age tribemen did not get to the 6,000 year mark. That was... drum roll, a british Deaceon in the 19th century, iirc.

Bronze age goat herders concept of time was VERY DIFFERNT from ours

On edit I do love number one

But he did do it by calculating generations from individual lifespans like 969 years.

"I love number one" sounds like something definitely not permitted in the Bible. But apparently it doesn't mention it. That'll be a relief for some.

but as I like to remind folks

Yep Abraham lived that long, only if you take into account silly things like the role of mythology

Dito for Noah... and Isaac

They were not real numbers or real lifespans

:-)

I just love how a british Deacon took them seriously.

... what's left? Atheism! Nobody could possibly want such a thing, surely?

It'd be like... like France!

:rofl:

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating_Creation#Date_of_Creation_according_to_the_Pentateuch

(and the man these days mainly associated with this, Ussher, because he not only counted up the years in the Old Testament, but also argued about the time of year (to do with equinoxes) and the time of day that God would have created the world, was an Archbishop in Ireland in the 17th century)

That's why, for instance, the Jerusalem Post has the year as 5767 at its masthead, as well as 2007. In Hebrew chronology, creation was in year 1. There are slight differences in the various dates because the parts which actually get into real history aren't always precisely recorded. But the generations of Adam, Noah etc. were taken by all Christians and Jews as correct.

I don't know what strict Muslims believe, though.

darn it! I really wanted to see the other 5 too :rofl:

www.evilbible.com

(will update OP too)

Rest of the funnies:

http://duggmirror.com/political_opinion/Top_Ten_Signs_You_re_a_Fundamentalist_Christian_6/



If this link goes down (unlikely), I got the story originally from digg:

http://digg.com/political_opinion/Top_Ten_Signs_You_re_a_Fundamentalist_Christian_6

#3 is hysterical!!!!!!!!!!!!

suspended" message. These five are pretty good, though.

Hmmmm...wonder why.

Overwhelmed. Traffic surge killed it.

:evilgrin:

Edited to add a good link. Well, not a "good" link since it's technically at EvilBible.com, but the link works.

:crazy:

Or at least I'd been trying to :D

1. You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Isn't THAT the truth! I'm an atheist (or at best, a raging agnostic) and I can BURY just about any christian when discussing the origins and history of their religion. It's just enough for them to "believe", not knowing exactly what it is they're believing in or why. Someone TOLD them this is the "truth" and that's good enough for them. No intellectual curiosity needed. But then the 1st lesson of the bible is to NOT EAT FROM THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE, isn't it? :eyes: That's right. Just accept what we say, don't ask questions, don't get out of line and of course, don't forget to tithe! :rofl:

There's a reason christians are referred to as "sheep" and "lambs" throughout the bible and it's NOT the reason they think it is. But for some 4th century intervention by the Emperor Constantine (to solidify his OWN power, mind you) christianity would most likely remain a rag-tag, splintered group of sects without any power whatsoever. Every christian should be required to read about the life of Constantine (a much more thorough, factual and historical account than of Jesus' life). They'd need no more proof that their religious beliefs are formed on extremely shaky ground. Most of the world's biblical scholars agree that the bible is NOT to be taken literally, it's just the fundie nut-jobs that insist on that. That also happens to support their personal quests for money, power and control over others: isn't that strange? :eyes:

If people need religion to get them through the day, that's fine with me. If it makes them a better person......great. But to present the bible as factual history and the unerring word of some supreme deity.........no, no thanks. You'll have to do better than some compilation of myth and folklore called "the bible" to convince me and many others of that. I need proof, I need truth, and I'm not afraid to ruffle a few feathers in the pursuit of that truth.

it is all just an Astrological Drama which has been proven well beyond any reasonable doubt through archaeological evidence.

http://members.cox.net/deleyd/religion/solarmyth/christ2002.htm