One Day (diagnoses and a message of hope)

One Day

One day came without warning
A perfectly innocent day full of promise and sunlight against office windows
Harsh reality stood behind large glass doors hiding like a thief in the shadows
There were no stop signs
No haunting Hollywood music to make the moment seem predictable.
No safety net for me to fall back into against the glare of neon.
I was a willing player with faith wrapped around me like a cloak of armor.

And the dance began

The whispered diagnoses was like a scream ricocheting in my mind
This cannot be….I am 35 years old
Doesn’t that count for something?
“Where are the brownie points?” I thought to myself as I sat on cold paper covered vinyl
clutching my husbands hand because it was the only link to home in this now hostile territory.
The doctor’s office with pastel colored flower paintings suddenly became winter
and I had my back to the winter gale.

I sat with a smile frozen to my lips and tears running down my face
Where was the safety of the car?
Where was the safety of my youth?
Where were the safe spots so we couldn’t play tag with my life?
Now I was “it”.
One day had come to my window to roost
Can I draw the curtains?

One day I had thought to myself when I was younger
One day I will climb snow covered peaks
One day I will learn to play the guitar and sing like an angel
One day I will become a mother and raise my children in a home full of love
One day will make the dreams I have a possibility
One day…
Isn’t there always time?

Knock, Knock
One day is at the door…Its for you!

So I went home and shed tears over a lost reality
and laughed in the face of a new one.
My new friend one day stood outside patiently waiting for me to embrace it
Waiting for me to open the door and invite them in
I wasn’t so sure this was the dinner guest that I had planned on entertaining through the years of my life
But there it was.

Like a slow rain falling…

I realized as time passed and the whispers of my diagnoses silenced themselves
That the dreams I had were always there
The dance of life had always been played out before me
I had just chosen to fill up my dance card with the rigors of daily life
The little things that drive us to forget that our “one day” is not something that is convenient
It’s not something that we do not fight for
It’s not something to be taken for granted

Embrace the tomorrow that you think may never come
Make it happen today
Don’t let it go
Don’t let it falter
Don’t let it slip

Because one day we will all look our own mortality in the face
It will also be at your window like a new dawn
And when the rays of the new dawn hit your face may you always see that you do have the time to make it happen right now
Dance with your fears and embrace the things that have always eluded you

Take the time to see who you are underneath the white noise of daily life
Take the time to love like you never have before
Take the time to play when you don’t feel like you have anything left
and if you do these things you can let the elusive “one day” into your life and simply ask
How do you like your tea?


Christi 9/2006
A.K.A. AutumnMist

Note: My wife found this tonight and she asked me to post it for her. She really just wanted to send a message of hope and laughter for those that are facing difficult times right now. Be easy on her. :) She is a sweet woman.

After I got my diagnosis of ALS it really put things in perspective. Maybe I can't dance anymore, but I can still rock! :)

I live for today - because I'm fast running out of tomorrows.

Thank you for this.