No Fighting Chance for Birds Killed on Cheney's Canned Hunts

http://bestsyndication.com/?q=111307_cheney_hunting.htm

Submitted by Martha on November 13, 2007 - 7:37am. Commentary | Current Events

While most people are lamenting the violence in Pakistan, Burma, Afghanistan and Iraq, apparently it's not enough bloodshed for Vice President Dick Cheney.

Last month in a caravan of 15 sport utility vehicles and an ambulance--no jokes, please--Cheney made his way to Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club about 70 miles north of New York City, near Poughkeepsie, for a day of controlled bloodletting.

Cheney landed at Stewart Air Force Base and took off the following day for the upscale gun club at a cost of $32,000 for local law enforcement officials who guarded his hotel, protected his motorcade and diverted school buses.


Unlike Cheney's 2003 trip to Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier Township, PA in which he killed 70 pheasants and an undisclosed number of ducks (his hunting party killed 417 pheasants), staff at the Clove Valley Rod & Gun Club remained tight lipped about the take. An employee who answered the phone would not disclose which species was being shot--ads say pheasants, ducks and Hungarian partridges are available--and kept repeating "I don't know anything about it," before hanging up.

..more..

A canned hunt is essentially a trophy hunt where the customer is guaranteed a kill by the simple expedient of the hosts pre-capturing the animal, and releasing it into an area where the hunter can take a shot at it, such as in a fenced-in area.

I wouldn't want anyone to think that this was a "hunt" at all. Most "hunting" is shooting and killing. Canned hunting is just a staged massacre.

He is just a shooter.

The difference is, the public appearances probably result in more overall violence (let's bomb, Iran!).

:D

Cheney's "hunting" is like going to strip club, then bragging that women love to take their clothes off for you. It's that lame.

I bet he fishes out of a barrel too!

I'm nominating him for Worst Person in the World !

you don't want your hard earned tax money used this way?


:sarcasm:

:hi:

The Clove Valley Rod and Gun Club is an exclusive place: Its 70-odd members are said to pay as much as $100,000 a year for the privilege of hunting ducks and pheasants on 4,000 acres of land on the west side of Clove Mountain, an expanse of shrubs and trees speckled in orange and gold.

During its 104-year history, the club has played host to millionaires, generals and politicians. President Dwight D. Eisenhower hunted there in the 1950s. In recent years, so did retired Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf. And John L. Dowling, one of New York’s leading commercial real estate brokers, was a member and a regular visitor until his death in 2004.

But on Monday, the talk of the neighborhood was about Vice President Dick Cheney, who was paying his second visit to the club. The previous trip was during President Bush’s first term, local residents said.

“We’re sort of used to the high rollers coming by,” said Dan Roth, 69, a member of the Mid-County Rod and Gun Club, a more modest establishment on the east side of Clove Mountain, where the membership dues average about $2,000 a year.

“Dick Cheney gets people talking, though,” Mr. Roth said. “People wonder if he’s going to shoot something. Or someone.”

more...http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/30/nyregion/30cheney.html

but when he was asked to pick up a gun to serve his country many years ago, he was "too busy" and had "other priorities". He figures it's a lot safer (and more lucrative) to start a war than to fight in one. What a patriot!

Cheney Goes Quail Hunting, Bags Lawyer
by Leaded Fields

Overheard by an NSA wiretap of a Comedy Central phone: "Don't go hunting with the VP when he's bombed out of his gourd on Wild Turkey. No matter what lucrative contracts or energy regulation you're fixing, it's just not worth the risk."

Harry Whittington, a big shot lawyer, was the first person shot by a VP since Hamilton was shot in a duel with Burr over honor and integrity. Harry was mistaken for a tiny little bird. Cheney immediately ran over to where Whittington was sprawled on the ground and asked, "Are you alive, Harry?" The erudite litigant responded, "Go fuck yourself." Senator Leahy said, "In retrospect, it looks like I got off easy." Nine of 10 White House aides wore orange ties on Monday. When the doctor got there, out of habit he put Cheney on a stretcher.

When people heard Cheney shot a lawyer, his popularity soared. Leftists complained, "This pandering, shooting a lawyer because your popularity is low, should be illegal." "Bush-Quail '06" bumper stickers hit the presses. The CIA agent accused of briefing Cheney that Whittington was actually a pheasant called his report "faulty and flawed intelligence. President Bush hailed Cheney as "somebody whom shoots straight for the American people," adding, "Anyone accidentally peppering his hunting dog is the idiot, but Dick shot a lawyer. And good bird dogs is rare." Bush said his naming Whittington to the Texas Funeral Service Commission was "just coincidences."

Justice Antonin Scalia said, "If he'd shot my ass, we'd have reversed Bush v. Gore," adding, "Good thing a six-foot-tall, 200-pound Coturnix is more difficult to kill than a 6-ouncer, or I might have a case to recuse myself on."

Rush Limbaugh said, "I'd rather go riding with Ted Kennedy." The Daily News ran a photo of Cheney with a rifle and the headline "Deadeye Dick." The Herald in Scotland declared, "Cheney Bags a Lawyer," while in Sydney, "Cheney Hunts Quail and the World Ducks."

All this is new ammunition for comedians. A person in power who screws up, that's funny; a Republican who strongly supports gun rights and the NRA shooting a lawyer adds lots of humor. If Whittington had accidentally shot Cheney, the Secret Service would've shot him, adding plenty of irony. It's funny if you like Cheney, funnier if you don't. All the humor will be lost if the victim dies. He suffered a minor heart attack on Tuesday when birdshot migrated close to his heart.

After Cheney sobered up and they knew Whittington might live, the ranch owner was instructed to "bite the bullet and tell a reporter." Cheney said, "In case they ask, I've been a straight shooter since my last drunk driving arrest." Hospital spokesperson, Yvonne Wheeler, a short helicopter ride away from the scene of the shooting, could not explain why Whittington was admitted at 8:15pm after being shot at 5:30pm.

Whittington, a known quail sympathizer, is now making some of the best new Cheney jokes. He says he'll auction his "punctuated, orange 'Moveon.org' sweatshirt to pay the hospital bill." He added, "Ribbing Dick that George is 'the real president' was a mistake." When asked if there were lots of birds, he replied, "There was too much Wild Turkey, that much is for certain, and one too many chicken hawks too." Regarding Cheney's Italian-made Perazzi 28-gauge shotgun, Whittington added, "Fortunately, I wasn't shot by an American gun and an Italian gunman." Harry chuckled (he still can't laugh), "I gave $2,000 to the Bush-Cheney campaign, what else do they want, a lawsuit?" He also plans to have a taxidermist stuff the two quail he shot and proclaimed they'll be "twice-stuffed. You know where they're going!"

Fellow hunter and witness, Pamela Willeford, whose family contributed tens of thousands to the Bush campaigns, plus $500 to the Bush-Cheney recount fund in 2000 and was appointed ambassador to Switzerland, was not shot. "Rumors she sought political asylum in Switzerland are false," according to Armstrong family friend, Kaye Bailey Huchinson. A White House intern was heard muttering, "Now I know why they attacked Iraq instead of Iran." Another intern joked, "Osama has left the neighboring King Ranch and crossed the Mexican border."

Texas authorities, who complained of Secret Service barring them from speaking to Cheney after the incident, are calling their new Hummer "an anonymous gift from a kind corporation." "Yes, Anne Armstrong was a Halliburton director when they hired Cheney, but we are not investigating Halliburton here. Cheney told us all we need to know the following morning."

When Cheney went pheasant hunting in PA in 2003, the exclusive Rolling Rock Club gamekeepers released 500 pen-raised pheasants from a net. In a blaze of gunfire, Cheney, Sen. Cornyn (R-TX), and major Republican fundraisers killed 417 of the birds. "Cheney shot more than 70 fowl, but not one fundraiser," the gamekeeper reported today. After lunch, they shot flocks of mallard ducks reared in pens. "Hundreds of mallards were killed, but not one Republicans fell," he added.

A Sierra Club spokesperson said, "If these rich fat cats put any more lead shot on the earth, we'll all end up like the Romans. This insane killing of little birds with lead shot harms the brains of future generations more than it does Harry's brain." An environmentalist raged, "Cheney should resign and start picking up all his lead."

Dick Cheney has no comment so far. The identities of the other hunters are still State secrets.