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Edited on Sun Jan-06-08 06:45 PM by Mortos
The Republicans have nothing, nada, zilch to run on and the most uninspiring line-up of candidates I have ever seen.
John McCain - Comes off like a cranky old man who has had nothing but wrong headed ideas and still defends them. He is just too damn old to be realistically considered by the voting public. He is the Bob Dole of this election, without the erectile dysfunction.
Mitt Romney - The epitome of political desire with no moral center. Flips and flops with the wind and the group he happens to be pandering to at the time. The used car salesman of candidates. His religious beliefs will hurt him with the very constituency who's support he seeks (Jesus and the Devil were brothers; magic underwear).
Rudy (9-11) Guilliani - A pathetic shell of a man parasitically sucking any remaining fear and sympathy from those killed on his watch; trying desperately to make people believe he is some sort of superhero with a comb over (who actually failed to prevent anything and may have exacerbated the problem by ignoring the NYFD and NYPD complaints about shoddy equipment). Thrice married, serial cheater with a penchant for cross dressing and living with gay couples he now opposes.
Fred Thompson - Combining all the charm of your Grandpa woken up from a nap, with the disinterest of a B lister who believes he is a character he played on screen. Absolutely uninspiring to even those who prayed for his entry into this contest. The savior of the republican party too tired to feign interest in his own campaign.
Ron Paul - Crazy long lost brother of H. Ross Perot but, compared to the others in this clusterfuck to the White house, actually inspires some passionate support from disenfranchised conservatives, libertarians and independents as desperate as goth kids to be seen as individuals.
Duncan Hunter - Assuming the most asinine political persona ever, Duncan is trying to out-Bush Bush, the most unpopular president in the last 100 years. This is the last stand of the fake conservative, right wing, religion on his sleeve, flag lapel wearing, Fox news loving hypocrite. Hopefully they will fade into the dustbin of history; with their multi million dollar corporate payback post-political jobs, it will be a nice dustbin, but a dustbin nonetheless.
Mike Huckabee - The former fatty, who didn't have enough self control to stop eating (gluttony is a mortal sin), has successfully adopted the "holier than thou" platform, out Jebus'ing the other religious panderers. By inserting religion into his politics, this repugnant man is milking Christ the same way Guilliani is milking 9-11. His heartfelt religious convictions didn't keep him from pushing for the release of a serial rapist who went on to rape and kill again (because the rapist had the good fortune to molest one of Bill Clinton's distant cousins). While in office this man of Christ sought out gifts from political donors and took them all without an ounce of concern about the rules governing such gifts. Somewhere, Jesus is weeping.
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