Why the Ex-Gay Movement is More Important than Anti-Gay Marriage Activisits

readmoreoften knocked one out of the park today and she may not even know it yet. I sent her a PM about it, but the more I considder it, the more I think this topic deserves repeated exposure.

A few weeks ago, she posted what I found to be an incredibly compelling OP. I asked her permission to use her post as source material for a sermon at a UU congregation. She graciously agreed and the response was everything I could have hoped for and more. Her words were affirmed by both the LGBT and the African Americans in attendance (one individual representing both demographics). Two people came up to me afterwards asking if the sermon would be submitted for publication in a periodical. Considering those who asked, that is high praise indeed.

My apologies to readmoreoften if in my edits I inadvertantly misrepresented anything she meant to convey. Any errors are entirely mine.

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Why The Ex-Gay Movement is More Important than Anti-Gay Marriage Activists

Inspiration from my sermons come from many sources. Books I have read, conversations with members of our congregations, movies I have seen, heck, even stray thoughts I have had in the shower. Today's sermon was inspired by, an mostly derived from, a post I read on a website called DemocraticUnderground. It was written by a lesbian in response to fallout from a decision made by the campaign of a presidential candidate. Obviously with federal tax regulations I have to leave it at that. Regardless, she focuses our attention on several issues with which we should all be familiar. Ignorance is not an excuse.

With prominent political and religious opposition to same sex marriages, we can almost be excused for not paying attention to the ex-gay movement. However, we do so at our peril. The Ex-Gay movement is far more dangerous in its message and its intent.

I’d like to emphasize that I am in no way throwing a broad blanket over Christianity. The agenda of the ex-gay movement consists of what we can easily consider extremists. It is probably safe to say that someone who espouses ex-gay views is opposed to same sex marriage, but it doesn’t necessarily correspond in the reverse. It is entirely possible to be opposed to same gender marriage while not only disagreeing, but disapproving of the ex-gay movement.

Ex-gay is a term used in professional literature and by some reparative therapists, religious groups, and others to describe persons who used to be gay or bisexual, but now identify as heterosexual. When it was introduced to professional literature in 1980, E.M. Pattison defined ex-gay as someone who had "experienced a basic change in sexual orientation from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality." However, since then, the term has been applied to people, who because of religious motivation, "have changed and also to people who are in the process of changing their lesbian or gay male identity.”

For some ex-gay groups, merely choosing not to act on one's same-sex desires counts as a "success." For example, some ex-gays in opposite-sex marriages acknowledge that their sexual attractions remain primarily homosexual, but seek to make their marriages work.For some, the mere act of adopting the label "ex-gay" is seen as a narrative device whereby "individuals use language as the primary tool to not only express identity but also create and transform it." Other ex-gays try to distance themselves from the term.

Exodus International, National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, Love in Action, Courage UK, Courage International, and True Freedom Trust are some of the organizations and groups whose objectives include helping people attempt to change or control their same-sex attraction.

It should be noted that other than Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays, no other major ex-gay organization has labeled themselves as such. Courage International does not consider itself an ex-gay ministry, but prefers to be thought of as "pro-chastity." Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International, resents the term and has publically denounced its usage.

Some ex-gay organizations consider reparative, or conversion, therapy to be a useful and necessary tool to treat homosexual desire. Many techniques have been tried, including behavior modification, aversion therapy, psychoanalysis, prayer, and religious counseling The medical and scientific consensus is that reparative therapy is not effective and is potentially harmful. The American Psychiatric Association issued a critical statement backed by numerous other mainstream medical organizations, which stated: "There is simply no sufficiently scientifically sound evidence that sexual orientation can be changed." The statement went on to say that positions espoused by ex-gay organizations "are not supported by the science" and that they "create an environment in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish." That’s stating it a bit mildly in my opinion.

Even when we know what it is, many of us don't understand the actual goals of the ex-gay movement in part because they may strike us as just utterly bizarre. I realized this when observing the reaction to a presidential candidate’s decision to include an ex-gay minister perform at a fundraising gospel tour. Following this controversy, I observed an unscientific poll asking which is worse: supporting anti-gay marriage legislation or having an ex-gay speak at a rally. I saw many people startled to see the LGBT responders felt that allowing an ex-gay to speak at a rally is as bad or worse than discriminatory legislation. The reaction indicates a fundamental lack of awareness of what LGBT people are facing, have experienced in the past and fear for their future.

As one lesbian put it, “an 'ex-gay' spokesperson is not just some harmless buffoon with low self-esteem. The ex-gay movement is not just a group of misguided Christians who want to help.” I think she succinctly sums up most people’s views of the ex-gay movement if they know if ot at all.

In fact, the movement seeks to undermine the very existence of the LGBT community. They affirm that sexual orientation is a lifestyle choice and refuse to even consider scientific evidence to the contrary. Ex-gay groups assert the scientific community has taken its stances on homosexuality due to political, and not scientific, considerations. Their goal is to prove that gays, lesbians, and transgendered people are not just sinful, but in fact demonically possessed. No, I am not joking or engaging in hyperbole.

Let us remember that extremist Christians don't just have a deep and abiding faith in God; they also believe in the Other Guy. And just as they are soldiers for Christ, they believe that there are soldiers for the Other Guy. There are three groups of people who are Satan’s Five Star Generals: pro-choice doctors, scientists, and gays. While pro-choice doctors are an example of good-gone-bad and scientists are an example of the search for knowledge gone egotistic, gays are the agents of pure and irredeemable corruption.

You can't fight an enemy without actually, you know, fighting. And they are advancing on the ex-gay front. The Southern Poverty Law Center considers them part of a larger coalition of hate groups.

The 'ex-gay' warriors put LGBT young adults and teens into conversion centers where they are isolated, depersonalized, mentally, and sometimes even sexually abused. They are isolated from their families for months and sometimes years. The ex-gay movement also targets public school children, giving pamphlets to those they feel might be "at risk" for "becoming gay." In an environment where LGBT kids are already subjected to daily beatings, torture, and mocking, the 'ex-gay' movement comes in to make sure they have no allies. They give the hatred and violence a gentle, religious, and authoritative face.

The ex-gay movement is composed of the most extreme elements of the anti gay marriage movement. These aren't just folks who get squeamish at the thought of two men kissing. These are people who believe that LGBT people are demonically possessed destroyers, who as Grammy Winner the Rev. Donny McClurkin says, "kill our children." They have an irrational hatred of gay people, blaming them for everything from the destruction of the black family to Nazism and serial killing to the destruction of the Twin Towers. Can any of us forget Falwell’s assertion in that respect?

In other words, these people believe that gays are responsible for every serious problem in American and maybe human history. They don't simply want to stop gays from getting married. Logic would dictate that, since gays are agents of Satan and the root of all social ill, the ex-gay movement wants to eradicate them completely. As creepy as this sounds, creepier still is the fact that millions of people subscribe to the ex-gay tenets. When I began my research I could not have imagined my shock at some incredibly blunt examples of people who want gays exterminated.

So what does this have to do with racism? There is overlap in the way our beliefs can be manipulated. Before the 2004 Election, Karl Rove funded an anti-gay Black church so they could publish magazine inserts in Sunday newspapers throughout the black community. The goal was to push just 2-3% of the black vote to the Republican party by claiming that gays and the Democrats who support them are destroying and minimizing the legacy of black civil rights. The notion that LGBT people (read as white) are undermining black history gave the culture war a particularly horrific new frontier.

We should keep in mind that African-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, and Caucasians have pretty much identical amounts of gay folks. But if you think about it for a few moments you begin to realize that our media and popular culture more often portray LBGT people as predominantly white…and male. This shows that gay folks are not poor degenerates, but skilled upper-middle class white people. People just like youo and me.

Unfortunately, a disproportionate amount of images of white, wealthy gay men help them locate gayness as a product of a jaded leisure class who oppress good, Christian, working-class families. The Gay is 'more attractive' and 'super affluent' with a life unfettered by children and responsibility. This caricature is similar to the image of the hyper-masculine black man with an enormous and terrifying male member. The Black wants to rape your woman! The Gay wants to rape your hardworking family! It is the fantasy of victimization that oppressors concoct.

Sadly, there is segregation in the gay community. There are also substantive cultural and class differences between folks in the LGBT community. One of the largest gaps is between working class African American gays and the white professional gays who either try to speak for them or distance themselves from them or simply have no idea what goes on in their world. One of the main struggles of African-American gays has been to explain within the Black community that gay and transgender Blacks are not 'betrayers' who have adopted or been infected with 'white ways'. This is an issue not just in the US but in Africa and the West Indies as well. This fantasy of 'super-affluent, white gay perversion' isn't just a problem in the US. It is getting Black gay rights activists murdered all over Africa

Unfortunately because of the tension of race relations, I have to wonder if we don’t fall into the trap of the “soft prejudice of low expectations.” You know, "gosh golly, they're just ignorant black folk! How are they supposed to understand a complex thing like gay rights!" When we excuse African American rightwing Christian bigotry against LGBT people (against mostly black LGBTs) when we refuse to accept it in white Christians, we are insulting the intelligence and moral conviction of the black community as a whole. There are a great many African-Americans who have stood up for gay rights as a civil rights struggle: Coretta Scott King, Huey P. Newton to name two. African-American hatred toward gays is not moral and is not good. It should not be any more acceptable than Falwell and the like.

When religious leaders say that gays are demonic child killers who must be stopped at all cost, what do you think is the underlying sentiment of that message? What do you think is the inevitable result? It shouldn't surprise any of us that such teachings beget horrible violence against our human brothers and sisters. Because sexual orientation is not a protected status, murders of gay and lesbians often go underreported. It is also difficult to question a murder victim about the hatred spewed during an attack.

I recently learned that almost one-half of homeless children in America identify as LGBT. Clearly they are not all of one race. Why are these children thrown out of their homes? Why are they forced to leave? What would motivate a parent to discard their child? What would make a child so uncomfortable at home that they'd rather fend for themselves on the streets, starve, or prostitute themselves than return?

The fact that there is huge religious movement in America that correlates LGBT people with demonic possessed agents of Satan may have something to do with it.

Having a righteous society is not just about the legislation you pass. It's about the climate you create. If our political and religious leaders warmly embrace the LGBT community, parents become less ashamed of their children and more able to love and care for them. Communities exclude gays less, violence against gays becomes less tolerable.

We are called as people of conscience to speak truth to hate and violence regardless of race, ethnicity, gender and sexual orientation. We need to say no—a strong resounding NO—to concepts like the ex-gay movement. Because it is truly as evil as it sounds.

I've been contemplating an OP on just this. The so-called "ex-gay" movement is hideously dangerous and insidious. They are not merely against gay people, they want to wipe us out. They are psycho-spiritual terrorists who operate under the guise of providing "therapy" and "assistance" to people who are suffering--largely due to the conditions they and others like them have created.


For a peek into their tactics and experiences of people abused by them visit Ex-Gay Watch.

I provided a list of websites (which a great many people took home with them). I warned everyone they would need a long hot shower afterwards and still wouldn't feel clean. Two things I should have mentioned in my sermon.

1. The professional code of ethics requires counselors to inform parents seeking reparative therapy for their gay children that it is ineffective and potentially harmful.

2. Some of these groups have moved operations outside of the US because their activities violate US laws. Licensing for counseling, kidnapping, torture, etc.

have no professional training, i.e., no actual psychology/psychiatry training or degree and sometimes no theology degree or credentials (for what those are worth). Since they are religious groups/organizations there aren't any standards unlike for regular counselors/providers. It's appalling the way people put their mental, spiritual and even physical health in the hands of these abusive charlatans. Worse yet, parents ship their children off to them without even checking to see what their qualifications are. :scared:

It actually makes me uncomfortable as an ordained minister that because of my training I am automatically licensed to perform counseling in my state when all I am equipped to do is provide pastoral care. I am well aware of my limitations and make sure I have a wide circle of professional referrals for all types of problems and issues. I cannot respect colleagues who take it upon themselves to provide mental health treatment when they are ill-equipped to do so. The ex-gay crowd takes that (down) to a whole new level.

They just have to have someone tell them it's in there and that's good enough.

:thumbsup: :hi:

His mother forced him to try and write with his right hand because she was convinced left-handedness was the work of Satan or something.

It got me sent to the Principal's office in elementary school, because my gym teacher thought I forged a note from home.

in my opinion. I don't know why it makes a difference to me, but doing so in the name of some religious ideal is even more heinous.

This discussion and information is so terribly important.

K&R

:kick:

could you send a copy of this to all the campaigns? (Dem and Rep) I believe this is the discussion that needs to take place to bring true equality. Laws are not enough - we must fight the rhetoric.

Thank you for your post and your obvious love of human kind. :)

readmoreoften's permission. I consider this a joint work (more her work than mine).

You need submit this to a mainstream periodical. Including "The Adevocate."

yours is the only same gender marriage I have had the pleasure and honor to officiate. My state really sucks. Too bad I like the weather so much, hurricanes and all.

SHE WAS JOKING!!!

I'm afraid it will be a long time before you can marry same sex couples in Floorida.

:sigh:

Does that mean I'm cool with the gays on DU? No one sent my official "cool card" yet. When can I expect delivery? ;)

Of course she was joking. The only reason I wanted to marry you was to get a weekend away from my kids. Everyone knows that. :)

Shit, I didn't even notice them when I delivered the sermon this morning. I can't type anymore. Sheesh! I think bi-focal denial isn't going to last much longer.

Or, rather, to get $$$ and votes.

when that happened. Little did I know at the time that I didn't get a potential list of candidates. (Just found out belatedly that the Florida primary means diddly squat....reeling and pissed as shit about it. How did I not know already?!)

Put "lifestyle" in quotes. LGBT people do not have "lifestyles," we have LIVES.

Happy to put it in quotes, but please keep in mind that's an ex-gay position and not mine. Oh, and there are way too many other typos for it to be anywhere near ready to submit for publication. *blush*

Cheers.

My favorite Kate Clinton joke is the one about how it is sometimes hard to be an ex-English teacher in public. "When I saw a sign in the supermarket that said 'carrots,' I couldn't help myself. I took it and put it over next to the celery."