Republican Dreams

"Say...I just noticed your Bush/Cheney bumper sticker. I wanted to stop you and say thanks, and give you $10,000,000 for being such a great American. There's a bunch of us Republican Billionaires who are cruising the highways and biways of America, just looking for people like you we can make rich like us. I mean, it seems SO unfair that you support our tax breaks and get nothing but the shaft for it. What's your name? Okay--I'm writing the check right now. See all the zeroes? Ain't this great. Better than that McMahon guy, isn't it? It's better than winning the lottery...any idiot can win the lottery. But this is your payment for being a loyal Republican, listening to Rush Limbaugh every day, buying every Ann Coulter book, and voting for even the most vomit-inducing candidate we can dredge up from the bottom of the barrel.

"Welcome to the ranks of the rich. Your country-club membership card will be coming in the mail in the next few days. Go out and buy a new car. You don't want to show up in that old hunk of junk. Oh, and make sure to go out and get a new bumper sticker supporting the Republican Presidential candidate Du Jour. You want to seem on top of things, after all.

Vote Republican. It pays."