Understanding Republican foxes in the henhouse

Standard operating procedure for foxes in a henhouse:

1. Foxes enter henhouse.
2. Foxes eat all the hens.
3. Foxes leave.

Standard operating procedure for Republican foxes in the same henhouse:

1. Foxes enter henhouse and eat all the hens.
2. Foxes then incorporate "Henhouse Management, Inc." in Barbados.
3. They then publish a glossy, nine-color prospectus to sell the 150,000 shares of HMI stock they had printed. Prospectus and stock certificates are both designed in India and printed in China because offshore graphic arts talent works REAL cheap.
4. Using a stockbroker who gave $500,000 to George Bush's reelection campaign, they offload the shares at 50 percent over analyst's estimates based on the composition of the board of directors of HMI: George W. Bush, Dick Cheney AND Bob Nardelli are all on it!
5. Faux Business Channel, CNBC and Bloomberg Television all run glowing reports on the financial acumen and innovative business practices employed by HMI. No one notices, or cares, they have no chickens.
6. HMI delivers 10,000 pounds of Individually Quick Frozen (IQF) chicken wings to Buffalo Wild Wings, Inc., at a price 10 percent below the break-even point of every other supplier in the poultry industry. Based on this delivery, HMI receives contracts totaling 10 million pounds to nine different restaurant chains, all paid in full at date of signing...and uses part of the contract proceeds to pay the butcher who sold them the first 10,000 lbs. They give 10 percent to the Republican Party, and keep the rest.
7. Three months later, the whole scam falls apart. Nine restaurant chains are forced into bankruptcy because they have neither the chicken HMI sold them nor money to buy it from another meatpacker. The resulting government bailout of the chicken-wing industry costs the taxpayer $1.3 billion. Hooters collapses. All the foxes fled to a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty. The Democrats in Congress hold a hearing at which Harry Reid is heard to say, "I didn't get a 'harrumph' out of that guy" and a stream of former Hooters Girls testify that, due to the obvious fraud and malfeasance committed by the foxes, they'll have to work their way through grad school at jobs where they make you wear (gasp!) pants! George Bush pardons the foxes, claiming they weren't able to foresee the "downturn" in the chicken-wing business, which finally causes Nancy Pelosi to put impeachment back on the table: "Anyone who doesn't understand HMI collapsed because they were selling chickens they ate six months before is not only too fucking stupid to be president, he's too stupid to breathe air. So his ass is out of here; we've got plenty of grounds for impeachment. AND we've got really dry powder!"

Regular foxes just clean out the henhouse. Republican foxes take the economy with them.

K & R!