http://onlinejournal.com/artman/publish/article_3268.shtmlROME -- I feel sick.
She says I’m sick in the head.
Actually I’m sick in the heart, sick in my viscera. My head reels, I feel chronic vertigo.
She says it’s only paranoia.
I tell her the old Polish joke popular during the military regime. He constantly felt spied on, tailed everywhere, his phone tapped, his mail read. His friends said he was nuts. His wife sent him to an analyst. As it turned out, his friends, his wife, his analyst were right: it was only the secret police.
My problem is over-sensitivity, hyper-susceptibily, recurrent political allergies and chicken-hearted alienation. For decades now my general anxiety has been hatching. Sometimes I feel it swelling my nostrils, as when I breathe the pollen-laden Rome spring air. From my viscera it creeps into my spleen and leapfrogs across to my liver. It crawls up through tubes to my lungs, ever higher through my esophagus, lingers in the back of my throat and finally settles into my brain, first destroying my amygdala before obliterating the whole campus of my hippocampus.
It’s them!
Who? Who is it?
You know who! It’s them! Who else but the Fascists, I whisper, and sing softly a few lines of Red Flag to whip up my courage.
The Fascists?
Shhh. Not so loud, they’ll hear you. I mean, the sovereign people did elect them! They’re already everywhere like locusts in grain fields. You hear that ting ting ting tinkling? It’s their Celtic crosses, tinkling and tingling and clinking, clinking and tingling and tinkling and, and. . . .
Silly, she says. You’re just having another attack. It will pass.
Listen to them, the Celtic crosses, tinkling and tingling? No telling what side effects these fits have on my psyche. There’s no remedy, I lament, humming a few bars of the International. Too late for contraception, tardy for vaccinations or firewalls. We must be already infected. Paranoia, indeed!
New realities
On the last day of April, we watched on the telly the new fascist Mayor of Rome ascend the Campidolgio, gaze out over the people and the city’s imperial past and the remaining signs of the Ventennio, the 20 years of Mussolinian Fascism, and the new political paysage decreed by idle electors who should have stayed their sandy beach instead. Stunned, we watched him finger his Celtic cross and pronounce that he was mayor of all the Romans. Our mayor too! And down below they salute, their arms stiff in the old Roman way, the old fascist salute.
The events this spring in Rome, in Italy, have already resonated over the western world. A déja vu from those 20 fateful years of the dictator Benito Mussolini that got Italy into the jam it’s in today. The restoration of the Fascists is no minor accident along the way. It crowned the victory of the Right in its New Millennium Italian campaign. And what a Right! A Fascist Right led by Silvio Berlusconi (who so recalls Mussolini), who was heard to utter these words about his victory: “We’re the falange.”
-snip-
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(you really should read the whole article)
I feel sick too
waiting
for the death knell