Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic

Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic


No one may ever think of the 'Lovebug' in the same way again, after a man revealed his penchant for having sex with cars. This replica of movie Herbie resembles his current flame, Vanilla.

Edward Smith never takes his girlfriend to expensive restaurants, or showers her with chocolates, flowers, or sexy lingerie - instead, a trip to the gas station and a nice bath are enough to keep her purring.

She also isn't bothered by his promiscuity. He's bedded, by his own account, 999 others.

Smith has taken man's romance with the automobile to a whole new level, and he claims his attachments to his metal, leather-upholstered companions are far from platonic.

The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15, and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change.

"I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone. Cars are just my preference," he told British newspaper the Telegraph.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2008/05/23/2008-05-23_man_whos_had_sex_with_1000_cars_gives_ne.html

:hide:

:)

Oh no no no no no. No. Just...No. How many ways can something be so wrong?

One question: Does he use Armorall or White Moly grease?

He continued, "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until nighttime, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."

Smith also believes his love isn't completely one-sided. Despite their apparent lack of feelings, he thinks there's something in it for the objects of his affection.

"There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving."


Damn. He harasses and sexually assaults cars.

But I singed my unit on the tailpipe. Never again. (Glad I wasn't wearing a condom)

In my day, we stayed faithful to one car, at least until it was nothing more than two tons of rust held together with prayer and the ministrations of a decent mechanic. These days, it's one car after another, or 4 or 5 at a time. SANTORUM WAS RIGHT!!!!!!11111111111

It used to be we went out all the time, sometimes on a whim, but now, it's "I'm out of gas" or "I need an oil change" or "You never take me anywhere new anymore!"

I wasn't sure, but now I know.






My cars been cheating on me.

If he was humping Lamborghinis, I'd understand. But the Beetle?

I just have to ask:

How does he fuck a car? :scared:

:rofl:

was what I wanted...hell not the first time I was wrong!

Why is a car a 'she'? Do men just see orifices EVERYWHERE?

But most of us don't try to mount them.

"His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter."

It's great if you stay away from the rotors. :rofl:

;)

:)

Read him the story and that was the first thing that he thought of...his car. LMAO

Should I worry?

Isn't he opening himself to prosecution?

I'm In Love With My Car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9JuAx_CB6o

The machine of a dream
Such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin
And the hub caps all gleam

When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When my hands on your grease gun
Oh its like a disease son

Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal

Told my girl Ill have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks sayin
This is the end now
Cars dont talk back
Theyre just four wheeled friends now

When Im holdin your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When Im cruisin in overdrive
Dont have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive

Im in love with my car
Gotta feel for my automobile
Im in love with my car
String back gloves in my automolove

...was so hung up on Rich Corinthian Leather.

?

Corinthian Leather? Ashtrays? Mudflaps?

Of course, that could lead to a case of burning rubber. :evilgrin:

N.J. Officer Allegedly Performed Sex Acts On Cows
http://cbs3.com/topstories/officer.robert.melia.2.706410.html

MOORESTOWN (CBS 3) ― More charges have been filed against a Burlington County police officer who was recently charged with sexually assaulting three girls.

Authorities announced Moorestown Officer Robert Melia Jr., 38, has been charged with four counts of animal cruelty after allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

Melia and his former girlfriend, Heather Lewis were previously charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault and one count of criminal sexual contact with three girls in his Pemberton home from 2003 until 2006.

Melia is being held on $510,000 bail

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