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You and Glenn Beck, Alone On An Elevator. Power Goes Down.

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Mr. Ected Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:38 PM
Original message
You and Glenn Beck, Alone On An Elevator. Power Goes Down.
What do you do? What do you say?

How many survivors?
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. Tape his mouth shut
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. I'd stay as far away from Beck as possible
expecially around 9/12 when he is going to tell us "what he has been working on" :scared::hide:
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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
3. I'd pray he didn't just have chili.
n/t.
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GoneOffShore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:40 PM
Response to Original message
4. Glenn, I heard you talk about tea bagging.
Time for you to learn how to REALLY do it. Lie down.
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
5. "Officer, I believe he slipped and fell..... Yes, sir, several times"
"Damndest thing I ever saw"
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lpbk2713 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'd have to kick his ass, all in self defense.



Simply because I know it wouldn't be long before he would start spewing his
bullshit and I just know I wouldn't be able to take any kind of shit from him.
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
7. Kneel, face east and pray to Obama.
Then speak in Russian.

Then sing Taxman.

Then push all the buttons on the panel.

Finally, laugh at the bastard.
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TheCentepedeShoes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Step back and stay clear
Don't want to slip in the puddle he makes when he wets his pants
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:53 PM
Response to Reply #8
18. Ick
:rofl:
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wryter2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
9. Tell him
Tell him that I'm going to tape his face shut if he doesn't stop crying for his mommy.
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BluePatriot21 Donating Member (143 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
10. Two men enter...
One man leaves.

Easy peasy.
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:49 PM
Response to Reply #10
14. GMTA!
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Xipe Totec Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
11. I'm sorry, my friend, where I'm going you cannot follow n/t
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mitchum Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
12. "He must have had a seizure or something"
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htuttle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
13. "Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWyOt1XMCoo
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rucky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
15. Elevators have trap doors, don't they?
I'll deny he was ever in there with me.
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lunatica Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:51 PM
Response to Original message
16. I'd just stand back and watch his frenzied panic attack and try not to
interfere while he choked or anything
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Juche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 05:52 PM
Response to Original message
17. Respond by saying weird shit
That tends to shut people up.

Him: Crap about politics

Me: I like vanilla shakes but sometimes I can really go for a strawberry.


Just imply you aren't even listening or having the same conversation. He'll be quiet.
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:31 PM
Response to Reply #17
22. That wouldn't work because....
ALL HE SAYS is weird shit. He'd think of you as a kindred spirit.
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Ikonoklast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
19. Start to laugh maniacally. Strip naked.
Start singing "Helter Skelter" in a Pee Wee Herman voice.

Ask Mr. Beck if he feels especially near to his god at that very moment.
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DearAbby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. Votes for that being
the most original response...and I actually enjoyed visualizing
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arbusto_baboso Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
20. Vocal cords can be removed by hand, without anesthesia.
And I can do it. That's all I'm saying.
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Creena Donating Member (501 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
23. Go all Jack Bauer on his ass.
Since he adores bringing 24 into reality.
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stuckinlodi Donating Member (87 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
24. Fart.
A nice silent-but-deadly oughta take his breath away so he can't talk!
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zbdent Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
25. kill him, use the rotting meat to attract vultures to break through the roof of the
elevator, climb to safety ...

besides ... the meat is already rotten on Beck before he'd be dead, anyway ...
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LiberalHeart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu May-07-09 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
26. I'd have him stoop down so I could stand on his shoulders, then...
...I'd push up through the ceiling panel and pull open the doors on the floor above and get out into the hallway. Then I'd tape a sign on the elevator doors at all floors saying "Elevator Permanently Out of Service. Any sound you hear coming from it is just the Glenn Beck Radio Show playing. Ignore it." Then I'd go to lunch.
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