Perspective 2020: What ever happened to the Republicans?

Jan 2nd, 2020

Just under seven and a half years years after the mysterious disappearance of all of the prominent Republicans in the United States, the answer to this question continues to elude investigators. As most people know by now, this mass vanishing act occurred on July 4th, 2012 at roughly 8:00 PM. Most of the country's most visible Republicans, including sitting Senators, Representatives, Governors, State Legislators, Mayors, Town Council Members, Corporate CEOs, Lobbyists, and television, radio, and literary pundits, simply went away.

For a few days, a few panicked voices of those suddenly bereft of their leadership, offered up the explanation that perhaps they'd been "raptured," but in time that particular theory was effectively debunked. What kind of God would take Rush Limbaugh but wouldn't take a hard-working, God-fearing Iowa farmer? Given that no one could answer that question, those espousing this point of view quickly faded into the background.

Others have put forth the theory that they were all abducted by alien researchers, curious to discover what made them so different from the rest of the sentient people on planet Earth, but so far no physical evidence has ever been discovered to validate this particular perspective.

Suffice to say, they're gone.

A year later, on July 4th, 2013, people all over the world celebrated America's Independence Day in a way that had never been seen before. People were dancing in the streets from Rio to Berlin, not to mention San Francisco and NY City. Within the first hundred days of Obama's second term, the nearly universal Democratic Congress passed not only a solid single-payer healthcare bill, but the Fair Marriage Amendment, the Renewable Energy Project Initiative (REPI), and the American Jobs Act (AJA).

Of course, it wasn't all wine and roses everywhere. Popular comedian and television personality Stephen Colbert was quoted as saying "Oh, hell--now what do I do? I'm going to have to go out and get a REAL job." As many people know, he's currently hosting the most recent incarnation of "Let's Make a Deal" and reportedly recovering well from his nervous breakdown.


Yes, the mysterious disappearance of the Republicans will continue to haunt America for a long time to come. Or at least until we find out who's replacing Simon Cowell on the next season of American Idol.

edited for clarity.

They did a disappearing act similar to that girl on Buffy. They became so irrelevant they simply ceased to exist.

Believing they were the movers and shakers of society?
Too bad they found out they were wrong!

....

If the Democratic majority doesn't perform, perhaps finding it impossible to resist the corruption by corporate contributors (again), the pendulum will swing the other way. Americans' short memories will allow the GOP to sell itself successfully as reformers...again. hard economic times will only accelerate

The GOP isn't going to disappear anytime in the foreseeable future. They will stay in the minority for exactly as long as we hold Democrats accountable, and keep our side (relatively) honest and productive.

...various organizations, institutions and corporations they're beholden to are going to just...give up, or disappear w/o a trace. And you're correct, I can think of a handful of scenarios that, along with the proper justifications and incentives, coupled with orchestrated mass media coaxing to buy into the deception, would bring the flock back into supporting the Right's rallying Large Print sloganeering.