DU Gays and Lesbians: Is marriage something you would personally be interested in?

I'm asking from a sociological standpoint. Heterosexuals are brought up and indoctrinated with marriage as a goal that should be achieved in life, and there is great societal pressure for us to find a mate and marry. I'm wondering if it is the same for the majority of gays and lesbians. Since the societal pressures seem to differ and the actual option of marriage is only a recent occurrence, I was curious if the majority of homosexual DUers personally find the idea of marriage appealing.

... but why is marriage not something that appeals to you?

Just don't want to get into that whole situation

But the reasons are to enjoy the same rights and protections as heterosexual married couples enjoy.

Maybe once we finish with healthcare.

and I would like to have the rights and protections for myself and partner as the years go by.

by all 50 states and by the Federal government.

(Married 27+ years, marriage recognized by our faith community 14+ years, civil marriage in Canada 3+ years ago.)

but yes, I'd like to be "married." Despite the historical lack of same-sex relationship role models, many in the gay community grow up with the same romantic notions of "marriage" and a happy-ever-after life that heterosexuals do, though they make alterations as they grow more mature. The societal pressure to marry isn't just felt by heterosexuals, because all of us are saturated with that stuff from an early age - and I suspect many gays just transfer the feelings into their own appropriate dreams of love when they are young.

During the great heterosexual debate over same-sex marriage, there has been little discussion about the societal pressure on EVERYONE - nor the indoctrination of such outrageous discrimination against gay people in which inability to "marry" is a weapon used to punish and shame us for our sexual and relationship orientation. That is certainly part of the outrage felt today - the utter arrogance of a heterosupremacist society thrusting "marriage" upon EVERYONE and then pulling it away from the gay community.

Think about it - have we banned "marriage" from heterosexual pedophiles? Or people with a history of spousal or child abuse? Spousal murderers? Nope. It's all about anything but "the gay." Hell, in my state, first cousins can marry (heterosexuals only, of course) as long as the woman is over 50 and can't produce a child.

The court decision today was an OUTRAGE. Just consider what a heterosexual would feel like if THEY were married and had THEIR marriage up for a popular vote? And then have a court uphold that vote, yet tossing them a bone saying "it's okay - you were married before the people voted, so you get to stay married."

Except what happens if a same-sex married couple eventually divorces? Oh yeah - another point of discrimination. How would you like to be told you can NEVER MARRY again if you get divorced because the "people" voted that right away from you - and ONLY you and the 17,999 other married same-sex couples?

who is counting on the illegality to keep me from HAVING to get married! Because lord knows if it was legal, my gf would be dragging me down the aisle! But, in all seriousness, it would be nice to have the choice. I feel right now like society values my married straight friends and validates their relationships but looks down upon me and my girlfriend, even though our commitment is as strong as anyone's. It pisses me off.

Living in sin is more my style.:evilgrin:

But I would like for everyone to have the choice to, in all 50 states.

My partner and I of 32 years are registered Domestic Partners in the state of California. While we support and will fight for the right of our LGBT family members to marry if they wish, for us, gay marriage will not benefit the two of us until it is recognized at the Federal level. I hope to live to see the day.

nt

opinions about my religion. And practice it in a liberal way that is very different than most churches in my area ... I still want to get married. I want to have a family and adopt a child.

And having a "civil union" liscense to me isn't the same as having a "marriage liscense" it just wouldn't be as spiritually satisfying.

Even if gay marriage is never passed, I think, eventually, when I'm in my 30's or 40's, I will settle down with a single partner for the remainder of my life.

First, I want the right to get married because it is strange to live in a country where I am not granted the same rights as other citizens. Second, I want to marry my partner of 18 years so he can enjoy the benefits of my insurance and not have to take extraordinary legal measures to insure he does not lose everything we have built together if I should die first. Marriage as a religious rite is useless to me since I am an atheist, but I want to rights to the same legal protection as the other citizens of this country.

I want it to be recognized as an equal marriage, not the second class civil union.

And for many reasons.

I'm "only" in my 40s and healthy but mortality is a legitimate concern, so I'd like to know that my partner of 10 years will be protected if something happens to me. Fortunately, I have a great family and foresee no problems there, but his family is another story, which (side issue) raises the spectre of hospital visitation rights, insurance / survivor benefits, etc. - all the things that are basically a given for married couples are costing me a fortune to *try to* ensure through a lawyer.

Also, were I to shuffle off this mortal coil, the tax hit he would take over my (not particularly significant) estate is appalling. F'rinstance, a husband can leave the house to his wife with essentially no tax liabilities. My SO, OTOH, will take a huge hit if I leave it to him outright - even if it's in both our names, he'd still be dinged for income (IIRC) on the value of my half.