Need advice re: teenage son and the military

I have a 16-year-old son and for years I've had the worst fear that by the time he's 18, the economy and everything else will force him to join the military out of desperation. He has no college aspirations.

He loves playing those war video games, so I can see how the military would be attractive to these young males (which of course is intentional, I know).

He claims he would NEVER join, but then, he's a teenager who thinks he knows everything about everything (and I'm a mom who DOES know everything about everything, lol, so I guess it's fair).

So, sort of like hedging a bet, I really want to have him view the WikiLeaks video so that I can discuss it with him, but I'm concerned about him getting a mixed message from me, in the form of "well, I know you say you WON'T join the military, but just in case... let's discuss this aspect." And perhaps he'll view that as a sign that I've accepted that it's a real possibility.

I wish we lived in a time where I would be proud for him to join the military, I really do. He could really benefit from some aspects, but I'm terrified of him becoming like those helicopter gunners.

Any advice?

He says he'll never join, and judging by the all-caps you used with "never," he's pretty adamant about it. Why not hold off on showing him the snuff film until after he's thinking about changing his mind?

I think that's a great approach.

I know I've bookmarked it from several sources.

and, well, we know how that goes (and went).

Just yesterday I had to pull out the Cold War slogan about "Trust but verify!" to him when he told me to "just trust him" about stuff (like where he is and who he's with and what he's doing).

Military? not so much

... any of the obligatory propagandistic claims. It's there to advance corporate power/profits.

n.t.

There is much to learn I suggest you google it.

but poster #3 is still, IMHO, full of s**t, just my opinion

we've never met, but never, ever, refer to a Marine as a soldier.
Thank you,
Dyedinthewooliberal, USMC 1968-72

:)

I thought about it as I pushed the Post Message button and was going to edit it but I got caught up in something else
Again my apologies

From a former Navy Seabee who fought alongside Marines: Semper Fi

Butler was a hell of a Marine, but he pissed off a lot of people. His father was an influential congressman and it has been reported that Butler and his father had Major General Barnett removed from the CMC post several years early so Lejeune could become Commandant. After Butler's father died, he lost a lot of his influence and was passed over to be the CMC, even though he was the senior Marine Officer in line and the most decorated.

That did not sit well with Butler and you can read it in his writings by the way the tone of his experience drastically changed.

I was stationed at Dong Ha but fought with the Marines at Con Thien.
I was a Navy Seabee

:shrug:

See upthread and don't forget it was 40 years ago

Gen. Butler was pissed and bitter he didn't make CMC, perhaps, but Gen. Shoup - CMC during the first part of my time in - was CMC, and he still came awfully close to what the poster said....

"I believe that if we had and would keep our dirty, bloody, dollar-soaked fingers out of the business of these nations so full of depressed, exploited people, they will arrive at a solution of their own -- and if unfortunately their revolution must be of the violent type because the "haves" refuse to share with the "have-nots" by any peaceful method, at least what they get will be their own, and not the American style, which they don't want and above all don't want crammed down their throats by Americans."
General David M. Shoup, May 14, 1966
Commandant of the Marine Corps 1960-63,
and winner of the Congressional Medal of Honor

reason is just look at what happens if you get injured. I was injured bad enough that it limited my career and ended a few chances. I interviewed on my radio show a decorated veteran who was given his medal by President Clinton, but a little more than a month ago was deported for a bounced check, you can hear him at http://smcws.podbean.com and to add insult to injury, the reduction of benefits, under funding of the VA. Add to it the way the military is being made a religious project by the religious right, Limbaugh being aired on AFN yet no counter viewpoints. No I wouldn't do it again unless the enemy actually invaded our country.

in the military! My father wasn't mean, nasty or an extreme disciplinarian, I just NEVER liked the way of life!

THEY own you and your family, like it or not! And I didn't like it very much at all! Just posted on another thread that I married my husband to keep him from getting drafted way back when! My daughter is studying to become a Physician Assistant and is doing OJT at a VA hospital and because of TWO wars going on now, there are more and more patients to care for! There is no doubt that with more injuries to care for, the medical care will decline and some won't get any!

During Viet Nam, many died because the technology wasn't as advanced, but today many lives are saved but our men and women are coming home with horrible injuries. Too many are only getting minimal pay for these injuries, and many aren't getting anything because there are injuries that AREN'T physically evident!!

LIFE magazine used to have horrible stories with pictures about the wounded from Viet Nam and I still shutter from what I saw!! One particular graphic issue still sticks in my mind... a man on a gurney with half his back blown off, and he was alive at the time! Don't know if he lived, but it was very, very shocking to see, especially because I was so young!

No, it's NOT ALL THAT!!

Your radio show sounds like something that needs to be heard by the youth- good work!!

I'm weird. I am vehemently anti-war, I wouldn't enlist in the military in a million years, I've never even shot a firearm save for maybe once at a paper target in Cub Scouts, yet Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is one of my favorite video games. I'm 18 by the way.

if/when he realizes how limited his options are, they'll suck him in. I know that happens all the time to young men who never thought they'd join up but eventually feel forced to.

Stay strong young man! I'm glad you are posting here! :hi:

Those video games will never be realistic until they have smell added to them.

They're gonna have to include the smell of two-day-old blood in a warm climate.

They're gonna have to include the smell of busted bowels.... like shit only worse.

They're gonna have to include the smell of your own body... the fear smell, the 8-day old sweat, the shit-stained skivvies, the smell of your own feet rotting off...

All that good shit.

You say you'd never join. Good man!

branches where the enlisted aren't as likely to be placed in a direct combat job, such as Coast Guard, Air Force, Navy. He could do a lot worse than the USCG. Also, talk to him about jobs that can be recycle into the civilian world like aircraft maint or medics.

and the ocean.

Only one AF enlisted job is tagged combat related, Security Police. The rest are worker bee jobs, some highly technical.

This is not to say he would never be in any danger; it's not called the Armed Forces because it's good PR. On the other, there are many civilian jobs much more dangerous than, say, a fuels spec.

My mother was dead set against me joining, source of the only screaming fight we ever had. In the end she admitted I made a good decision.

FWIW

and decides to enlist, urge him to research the Navy Seabees, which are the construction arm of the Navy. I enlisted in 68 and after boot camp volunteered for the Seabees, Unfortunatly, after my A school training, I shipped off to Vietnam for a tour, but generally speaking, Seabees are usually pretty safe and they rarely go to sea, I never set foot of a ship during my enlistment, I flew where ever I had to go and our equipment was shipped by sea.

Good luck with your son, my daughter did 3 deployments as an Army MP in Iraq and now she's a Las Vegas Metro Police Officer

worrying about this for the next two years will give you an ulcer.

You give good advice but I don't know how to stop worrying about him.

my dad is 83 and he still worries about my brother and me. (my boys are 21 and 27 and I understand)

He first has to volunteer at the VA hospital so he can have a balanced view of what the recruiters are telling him. If he still wants to go, well, that will be his decision but at least it will be an informed one.

great idea!!

I always wonder if these gung-ho young men would volunteer so readily if they knew the potential damage they can sustain. I know most young men and women think they are "bulletproof", but your suggestion that they volunteer at their local VA hospital before joining is an excellent one.

"Most penetrating penile injuries occur during wartime. As solid-organ abdominal injuries and subsequent death rates have been reduced with the use of body armor in modern warfare, the frequency of penetrating genital injuries has increased. This is because of two factors. The first is that body armor does not traditionally cover the genitals. The second is that genital injuries were likely underreported in previous wars because unprotected individuals tended to die of massive abdominal injuries. Extraction of injured soldiers from the combat theater and improvements in the treatment of trauma patients have also increased survival rates, leading to increased reporting of injuries to the penis."

http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/456305-overview

"Dr. Imbascini said he amputated the genitals of one or two men every day. "I walk into the operating room and the general surgeons are doing their work and there is the body of this Navy SEAL, which is a physical specimen to behold." He added: "And his abdomen is open, they're exploring both intestines. He's missing both legs below the knee, one arm is blown off, he's got incisions on his thighs to relieve the pressure on the parts of the legs that are hopefully gonna survive and there's genital injuries, and you just want to cry." "

http://www.counterpunch.org/rosen06232007.html

They are paying his entire tuition at a state school, paying around 900 per month while he is in college, a 20k sign bonus, etc etc. It's a really good choice for him especially since his goal is Nasa or some aerospace company.

As for your son, find out what HE wants to do or likes to do and push him towards that. Trade schools instead of college might be a good plan for him. The world needs electricians plumbers, mechanics, etc etc and pay (usually) good wages. If he chooses the military push him towards the Airforce or the Navy maybe? Or the Air guard, coarst guard or naval reserves. There are alot of option and alot of benefits. He is your son and I'm sure you have taught him well and influenced how he sees others so he probably would not end up like those pilots.

"end up like those pilots." You know?

At least I hope they do. My kids have marched on the capitol with me, while relatives where fighting in Iraq. We talk alot about war and when it is or is not necessary. I think (I hope) that the lessons I teach them will carry over into whatever they choose to do.

Step back a bit and remember he's just a kid. IMO the most important thing for you is to support him no matter where his heart leads him. That's what parents are supposed to do.

The have been desensitized(and trained) by video games originally, then the military propaganda dehumanizes further...

Have you seen militainment? It a great video for him(and you) to watch, free for download
http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/news/watch/v193682214BnwyD4a

Help him to find what he wants to do, and then help him try to achieve it.

If he should join the military, tell him you love him, you are very proud of him, and you support him in his choices.

If he should not join the military, but find something else, tell him you love him, you are very proud of him, and you support him in his choices.

I'm retired military. Most military men and women, even those who go to war, never do anything like what may have happened in that video.

If you have given him a good solid since of ethics, of what is right and wrong, he will do fine. That doesn't mean he won't make mistakes, everyone does, it just means he can face his mistakes and move past them.

They have a lot of the aspects of the military, such as discipline. But, if he was going to become like anyone associated with helicopters, it would more likely be like the ones that were plucking people off of roof tops in New Orleans after it flooded. A friend of mine has a son who is very much like yours. He has been in the Coast Guard about two years, and he loves it. There are times I wish I had gone that route. Like right now. Too bad I'm pushing 50, or I'd join up in a heartbeat.

offer a great Paramedic course? I think their rescue swimmers have to be Paramedic certified.

Waiting lists are over a year, some ratings and their schools are completely locked up for years to come. Funding cuts and billet reductions may also lead to personnel cuts within the next couple of years unless enough people take advantage of the early out programs being offered now. Look for the rest of the military branched to follow the same trend as things eventually wind down overseas.

The Coast Guard is doing a hell of a job off our coasts with minimal personell now and the possibility of cuts is really scary

probably report in two months. She got in because she has two years of college and being a woman they had two slots open. It's almost impossible for men to get into the USCG but you can score high on the testing and then be put on a waiting list. She wants to pay back her college loan of two years while in service. When she is done with her enlistment she then can go back to school full time for two years and have them help her with the funds.

It's really not a bad idea so I'm backing her. I don't want her settled with a huge debt and go out into this working environment. I'm proud of her and I like her judgment.

particularly after a favorite cousin of his went into officer training school after he graduated. I didn't tell him outright no to join- I was afraid that would push him in the direction of joining. We did talk about it. In the end he decided against the military.

Now he's a ski bum in CO.

Yeah, we share the fear of them doing the exact opposite of what they know we want, just out of defiance or to exert their independence or something.

I am so conflicted because I know that under the right circumstances, the military could be the best thing that ever happened to him, but I've just seen too much in the past several decades about how wrong things can go.

:sigh:

There's a difference between fantasy and reality, and most kids know it. At 16, you can probably believe your son. But you might remind him that most of his friends will be going to college, and he'll wish he had if he doesn't.

n.t.

If he claims he won't join he won't. If he thinks he can then let him. If he actually does it may be what he needs to get his defication consolidated. If he's not a psycho going in he won't be one while in.

In the meantime, make him work some shitty menial summer jobs. College might look better after that.

and if you think video games are part of any conscientious decision making process he has then I recommend mental counseling...seriously. Lifetime gamer here. Never affected my decision making. I've never thought about taking human lives like a video game. Fantasy versus Reality.

...the military might be a good thing for him. I've seen it tranform boys into men, in a good way. The air national guard is a good branch to join. My son in law just returned from his second tour (4 months), this time in Afghanistan. His first was in Iraq. All he did was unload cargo planes, but the Iraq tour was more dangerous, as there were a couple of incidents of mortar fire. He re-upped for the Afghanistan tour because they offered a nice bonus and he is working on his commercial helicopters license. He's got his private now and is working on his instructors license. He just got a job at the airport where he trained for his private license and is in line for the instructor's job once he completes the courses. Once an instructor, he can log the 1000 hrs of flight time necessary for a commercial license. At $300/hr for flight time, the instructor route is the only way he can obtain enough flight time to qualify for a commercial. The guy (25 yrs old) is one of the best men I could ask for as a son-in-law.

Something to think about.

I know it's scary to send a son/daughter into harms way, but military training has benefits. If he is truly against joining, he probably shouldn't.

and chances are he's already seen it. Teenagers look at things quite differently from adults and you can't count on his being horrified at it. He might think it's a pretty cool extension of those web games he plays and he doesn't have the life experience to know otherwise.

That's why the military loves young males as soldiers.

There is nothing you can do about it in the short term but hope you've managed to teach him what he needs to know to fend for himself when he gets out in the world. If he does join the military, you can hope he gets sent to cooking school or the motor pool.

By 16, it's largely out of your hands. He knows everything, you see, and won't discover that he doesn't for another five years or so.

Culinary Institute of America, that is! But so far, it's falling on deaf ears.

but he loves reading about the Revolutionary War, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings...

but I make sure he knows what the US military is up to currently...He just finished reading Zinn's "Young People's History of the US" so I hope that does it :fingerscrossed:

take openly with him, don't judge him and let him make decisions for himself. That is what we must do for our children.

Most kids his age play video games of all kinds and that has no bearing whatsoever on their military aspirations.

He's only 16, leave him alone and don't tell him NO to anything because he may just decide to do it to piss you off. Don't project your fears onto him.

Yes, I have a 16 yr. old son (as well as an 18 yr. old daughter, 13 yr. old daughter and 12 yr. old son).

Don't be so pessimistic about his future career, either. Encourage him to go to trade school to be employed in a job that won't be sent overseas.

give him tools like trade school.

But if in the end he decides to join up, then the best you can do is encourage him to go for... the Navy, or the Coasties, stay away from Medics, Navy Corpsmen end up baby seating Marines...

At one point the kids need to grow up and decide for themselves.

And you never know, he MIGHT be dead set against College right now... but as he matures might decide to actually go there. And if that road takes him through a tour so be it.

Oh and most troops are not going to end up committing war crimes, or what appears to be them. In fact, most troops live a life of 99% boredeom punctuated by 1% panic.

A son of my friend decided to join military and has been sent to Iraq. Right after i found out that he joined the military, I sent him "Winter Soldier - Iraq and Afghanistan" by Iraq Veterans Against the war but he told me that he does not want to read it because he knew he could not go to war if he read it. I really wished that I gave him the book much earlier. Now we don't know where he is.

father and I freely discussed what was going on (we were always discussing political issues throughout our relationship,at any rate). Also,I never have dreamed of glorifying/or pride in the military at any time. I really think our discussions regarding that terrible war rubbed off on the boys.
I have known quite a few kids who joined the military for the financial enticements and hopes for useful experience and resume(that didn't happen) and the money was quickly gone.

As my daughter was growing up my wife and me always stressed pride in the military, my experience in the military and Vietnam made me grow up and become mature. I never blamed the Military for sending me to Vietnam, I blamed the politicians that put me there, my daughter ended up joining the U.S. Army Reserves as an M.P. and with that experience, she was accepted into the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Accademy and is now a Police Officer, She also did 3 tours in Iraq and she says she is a far better person for it. The military is not for everyone but it does offer many good civilian related jobs now.

I would recommend the Coast Guard, Air Force, or Navy, in that order. I did almost ten years, they sent me to technical school, I later got an AA degree and then a Bachelors, never a dime out of pocket, even got grants for books and lab supplies. I never had to touch my GI Bill either which I have converted to the Post/911 version and transferred to my son so he has around $40,000 worth of benefits to use for college in a few years.

I was going nowhere fast and joined up because I was broke and bored, did all my time in Florida with the exception of a couple of months in boot camp and 7 months in California at some technical schools. Only guns I ever touched were in boot camp.

The same field I work in today is related to the training and work experience I received there also. Plenty of people who join waste the opportunities available though, select a job that doesn't have much value in the civilian world, don't take advantage of the educational benefits or screw up and get kicked out.

The pay got much better before I got out also. As an E-5 I was taking home $3100 a month net after taxes. I just ran the numbers and if I was still there in the same place today my take home would be about $3700 a month. Not too shabby, of course the junior guys have to get by on about half that when they first join but they are usually provided free housing and meals though depending on the base/station and area.

It's going to be extremely hard to get in the military for the foreseeable future with the economy the way it is. They have long waiting lists now and are turning many qualified people away. Completely opposite from when I joined in the 90's, they were giving big bonuses and waiving all sorts of normally disqualifying events, pay sucked, etc.

I wish you all good luck with your/his decision, it's what the person makes of it, have to use everything to your advantage and grab hold of the opportunity instead of just riding the years out like many do.

to still be a reasonable distance from you, (half a days drive or so if you are lucky) depending on exactly where you live.


No being sent over seas to war. If he can get trained into something like being a mechanic then he will not even be sent out on the boats. He should always be able to sleep in the same bed, in a building on a base. He would also have that skill when and if he decides to leave.


I have not done it myself but I do know a couple people who went into the coast guard and it worked out well for them.

The Coast Guard is locked up pretty tight right now, they have cut back recruiting and waiting lists are long. They used to offer guaranteed geographic areas years ago but those are long gone, people are lucky just to get in now.

After boot camp they might make a small effort to place people in the general area of their dream sheets but it all boils down to needs of the service, unless one has a guaranteed "A" school for a specific job, after which they are assigned somewhere based on the needs of the service or may get to select from a small list by class rank or seniority.

MK (mechanic rating) is one of the most underway ratings in the Coast Guard. Every ship has them and they make up a large percentage of boat crews at stations. They may be out on patrols on large ships (yes the Coast Guard has large ships that travel all over the world, work buoys, and break ice) for months at a time or standing duty at a station. Very few people actually live on bases or at stations anymore, most receive BAH or leased housing to live out on the economy (when they are not underway on a large ship or standing duty at a station for instance).

With that said the Coast Guard is great, you get to travel around sometimes to foreign ports, maybe save some lives, receive good pay and good benefits.

probably not for hundreds of years. If he decides to do it, respect his wish. There are several here with children in the military and maybe you should ask them how they deal with it.

Please be proud of him, no matter what he does, and tell him that.

mark

I appreciate all of the input very much, especially from those of you who can identify, either as a parent or relative, or as someone who themself took that route.

In some ways I guess I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for that day so I don't completely lose it, *if* that day does come.

Lots of good advice!!

:hi:

excellent pay (can make over 6 figures no problem with a little overtime), he can fight lots o bad guys, etc.

it's safer, statistically speaking, than going to iraq (at least if you are referring to combat roles or forward positions), and if he applies to a large dept. there are very diverse learning opportunities.

i know a guy works for a neighboring agency, got trained to fly the helicopter AFTEr he got chosen for that unit. iow, he was getting $40 /hr to LEARN how to fly.

granted, he's a former navy seal and it was a pretty competitive application process for that position

he could go the route I choose, Fire/Rescue, excellent pay,I average 6 figures a year, usually good stations with excellent facilities, hell I only work 10 days a month, granted that they are 24 hour shifts, but my shift sched is 24 on 24 off, 24 on, 24 off, 24 on, 96 off, can't beat and also I get to ride around in a big red shiny Fire Engine. The retirement benefits are just awesome also

then i got a real job...

you know why god created cops?

so firefighters could have heroes too!

lol

just messing.

will be boys....

Oy...

thats just about what my daughter told me
thats good, I needed a good laugh

"Work out. watch porn. Wash stuff. Watch more porn. Then eat a big steak dinner...jealous."
-LT Dangle explaining how rough a firefighter's day is and why they want to be cops...

on my off time!

welcome and good luck

They are the more safe options. There are plenty of non-combat MOS's that you can get that teach useful job skills. It will also give him the opportunity to get the 9/11 GI bill benefits. He will also have the chance to lead a team after a while and that is a huge advantage he will walk out of the military with over his civilian peers.

As far as the taped conversation from the Apache video, you can't really understand why military members talk like that unless you have served for an extended period in a combat zone and seen your friends killed. It doesn't make it right, but it is also not meant for public consumption.

If he likes computer games he may like computers or graphic arts. I've always loved computer games and action films but I never had any aspiration to physically fight anyone or join the military.

I like working with computers and make a pretty decent living as a computer programmer. I was never good in school. I was a high school drop out who later got a degree from an adult education program and then went to community college and took a few courses in learning a programming language.

I think it's important to talk to your kids about future opportunities and career desires. Community college is a great place to learn a trade.

what are his career aspirations? What does he want to do? What does he think he wants to do? What does he like to do? Hobbies, etc? Try to start nudging him in some direction so that by the time he graduates he has some OPTIONS and won't just bolt for the first freedom from parents paycheck he can get.

I have some websites bookmarked on my old computer, I'll have to see if I can find them - they're about young people and the military. Haven't looked at it in a while 'cause my kids haven't a snowballs chance in hell of ever considering the military as an option.

and visit some of the men there. At least he'll know the risks of being in the military..........

The son of some friends of mine signed up for the marines when he turned 18. The parents are liberal and they did everything they could to talk him out of it. He did it anyway.

He loves it. During training he lost 80 lbs and got into the best shape of his life. He loves the camaradarie. He became disciplined for the first time in his life. He is studying computer networking and communications. They gave him a choice of where to be stationed and he got his first choice(Japan). Mom and Dad are going to visit him at Christmas. So a kid who was never good in school did really well at this and learned a marketable skill.

He could still be deployed to somewhere dangerous, but his parents are proud of him. They're pretty sure he would never actually be in combat, so they are now ok with it. They don't talk about the politics of it.

long line of soldiers. Over 60 years military service between my dad, father-in-law and my husband. Dad and father-in-law both wounded in WWII, and both were in Korea and VN and lived to tell about it and retire. My husband also retired from the military and was in the Army during Desert Storm. It takes special people to live this kind of life like no other. Families give up allot. Going from place to place and lucky enough to get to live all over the world and the united states. We had a wonderful life and now we enjoy a pension and military healthcare. The best thing for him to do is sign up for the lest time to see if he likes it. Then get whatever the military benefits they offer him to take advantage of.

When he is 18, he is free to make that choice for himself. Being a parent is gut-wrenching a lot of the times.


And I'll add that I have no problem with people joining the military. My 18 year old cousin is now enlisted, and he will be going to Afghanistan come August. I hate hate hate it. But he chose this. He has grown up faster than any 18 year old should already, and seeing what he will see when he is deployed will only harden him more. Mu biggest thing with my child (even though she is stil a baby) will be for her to be able to follow her dreams. Playing the war games and actually joining the military are two totally different things. Remember that when you can.

If he's already set to become a plumber or electrician, then he'll not need the military one bit.

At this point parents are one of the least influential forces in his life. They send out newbies on temp recruiting duty in the hometown so his friends are going to be showing up in a new uniform and trying to get him to join, so the pressure is going to get stronger.
It is going to be easy for them to portray your concern as the stifling influence of an over-protective parent while convincing him that going into the military will not only establish his independence, but guarantee his entire future in the process.

In the end it is going to be his decision and that is a very important point for him.

I've been though this in 2002 and lost to the Marine Corp, so I can't say I did anything with my child that worked. What might help is to prepare him for the manipulative behavior of the recruiters.

I also think the fact that he has no plan is a real concern. He is probably already stewing about what he's going to do when school ends, and if he is still at sea on that topic, he is going to look for an easy answer.

Ok, as I type I have a thought. If I had it to do again, I'd go talk to the school counselor and find out what he has a high aptitude for. Then take him by the scruff of the neck (figuratively) get started making concrete plans for the step following high school. Perhaps he is suited for a trade. If so, get to work finding a trade school or someone to apprentice him starting as soon as possible.

If he has a positive direction it might help.

Good luck.

about joining the service.

It is to serve. It is not for training, or education, or becoming a better person, or growing up, or seeing the world, or having fun, or whateverthefuck the person joining thinks it is.

The military uses you where they need you. Promises are always subject to the "exigencies of the service".

A person can be moved to a different school, a different job, or even to a different branch of service.

The jobs at the entry level are usually menial and low-paying, and can be dangerous. OSHA doesn't exist on an aircraft carrier.

All of this, plus an excellent chance of getting your ass shot off, since this country seems addicted to Empire.

When you join, your life is not your own anymore. It belongs to the military. Maybe not slavery, but certainly indentured servitude.

As my gunny told me - in a very loud way - "Yer heart may belong to mama, yer soul may belong to Jesus, but yer ass belongs to the Corps!"

I sent her off walking with Camilo Mejia to learn from him. She's heard a lot of them speak over a week long period, shared meals with them.

She didn't have an interest in enlisting, I didn't bring her to those things for the purpose of swaying her in that way. But I did go with her in the interest of general education about what's going on in the world.

And maybe that's the approach to take with your son. Don't show him videos with the underlying message: "see this, this is why your mother thinks you shouldn't enlist." Take him to hear speakers when they come to town because the speakers have something of worth to say and because it's a way for your son to learn about life.

My advice is to educate yourself as well as him. The military does offer a host of benefits but of course there's an increased risk of several bad things (including death).