New Element Discovered

On Friday, scientists claim to have discovered a new element that they have called ignorantium.

This new element, however, is highly toxic. It is linked to rapid mental breakdowns, promotes group-think, causes the belief that everything one doesn't like is "socialism", bouts of aggressiveness and anger, urges to protect the usage of "pre-existing conditions" by insurance companies and "earners" (Who in reality got all their money from mom and dad), and the belief that liberals and black presidents are out to get you.

Ignorantium (Or Ig, as it is known on the periodic table) has been found in shockingly high quantities at Tea Party rallies, in computers that relay a high volume of political chain emails, radios that are constantly on talk radio, and has also been found in several thousand times what is believed to be the lethal dosage at Fox News headquarters.

Dumbassium, a gaseous element, found in the gray matter of the brain, specifically targets right-wing thought, and converts it into hot air, which is then ejected through the mouth of republicans. It is considered to be extremely unstable, and if not counter-acted can result in Glen Beck type behavior, ie uncontrollable weeping, arm-waving, night slobbers.

Palindumassium ...

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