I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of thier life -- Age 15
Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money -- Age 13
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen, Of course, we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends -- Age 8
Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote -- Age 10
Home is where the house is. --Age 6
I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember its because he sucks-- Age 15
For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out -- Age 6
My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him -- age 10
I gase at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotole and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. -- Age 15
When I go to heaven I want to see my grandfather again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell -- Age 5
I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower -- Age 11
More:
http://misscellania.com/I believe a couple of teens or somebody made all of these up. Some still have the ring of truth. The scary one is about why people would vote for a presidential candidate. I believe they would.