I met a lesbian yesterday

I'm an enumerator for the Census this year and I'm running around rural Minnesota trying to find all the people that didn't return a Census form. The weather this week is absolutely perfect, 75 degrees and cloudless with gentle breezes. It rained a lot last week, and the vegetation is exploding with life. The air is rich will the smell of freshly-turned soil, pine, and flowers.

And mosquitoes, but that's to be expected.




It's against this backdrop that I pulled up to a house, gather my stuff, and knock on the door. No answer, so I leave a notice and head back to my car.

A woman emerges from behind a somewhat shabby barn and greets me. We exchange pleasantries, I sharpen my #2 pencil, and we get to work.

"Did you or anyone in this household live or stay here on April 1st, 2010?"

Yup.

"Does somebody usually live at this house, or is it a vacation or seasonal home?"

She indicates they live there full time.

"How many people were staying here on April 1st?"

Two.

"Okay, then, let's make a list of all these people. Please start with the name of a homeowner or renter who was living here on April 1st. Otherwise. start with any adult living here."

She names Person 1 and Person 2. Both names are feminine.

"Okay, how is Person 2 related to Person 1?"

"Other", she says quickly, sharply.

"Um, if you could look at List B on your information sheet and pick the best one that would be great" I said, pointing to the column on the piece of paper.

She scans down the list and finds what she wants near the bottom, one notch above "Other nonrelative".

"'Unmarried partner'" she says, a trace of sadness in her voice. "The state won't recognize us".

She purses her lips at this point, still looking at List B.





There was a fair amount I wanted to say at this point. About equality under the law, or the politics of wedge issues, or the power of the Talibornagain. I wanted to express my distaste for her very essence being used by the morally-bankrupt Republicans to whip up voter turnout.

But I couldn't. I was on the Federal clock doing government business, and as I joked before with a Ron Paul type a couple of days ago, when I'm on the Federal clock I have no politics and no God.

I blurted out something like "It'll happen soon, I think", and moved on to the next question.


I felt the inadequacy of my words even as we moved through the rest of the questionaire. She had perked up by the time we were done, so that was good.


I now wonder, writing this, what does a couple that's "civil unionized" put down? And does anybody realize that THAT is the difference between a marriage and a civil union???


Their ages were between "able to run for President" and "not able to collect Social Security". I wonder how long they've been together, and whether they'll live to be able to get married.

:-(

We really need to fix this "oversight".

Part of your OP says this:
"But I couldn't. I was on the Federal clock doing government business, and as I joked before with a Ron Paul type a couple of days ago, when I'm on the Federal clock I have no politics and no God."

If only that psychologist (at the local county mental health department - government funded) I saw back when I was 15 years old had followed that same rule, I would probably have never attempted suicide back then.

Because that psychologist felt the need to verbally bash me for being a lesbian and preach to me to "get right with God," then go on to tell me I was "choosing a lonely life" for being a lesbian, I went home that afternoon feeling like any happiness in life would be impossible.

Add to that experience the fact that I suffered from untreated clinical depression and presto, I tried to OD on Valium and vodka that night.

While you may feel your response may have been inadequate, at least you didn't preach to them while they were already deeply depressed and cause them to feel life wasn't worth living.

What I would not have given if that psychologist had kept her religion, politics, and judgment of me out of that evaluation when I was that young and vulnerable to depression and suicide ideation. I might not have went under that night and suffered a near death experience I will never forget.

:kick:

Edit: Typo

I'm stunned and very sorry that happened to you.

:hug:

K&R.

No child should ever have to deal with bullshit like that from a supposed person of authority, for any reason. I'm glad you survived and are, hopefully, in a better place now.

:hug:

Simply terrible.


And this is exactly why politics and religion don't mix.


Glad you're still here... :-)

For me,Psychology is to Psychiatry what Astrology is to Astronomy.(It's a very subjective opinion based on personal experiences so please,if someone is a Psychologist don't take it personally).

Psychiatrists have to study Medicine which gives them an edge over Psychologists as for being less prone to stupid and harmful shit like this because they have strict scientific protocols and code of ethics to follow.And they can be sued big time too.

It's not a full proof guarantee of quality cares as there are good and pretty lame MDs out-there
and I've known people who had great Psychologists who helped them tremendously.

What this person did to you is inexcusable and is borderline criminal.You were very vulnerable and in a situation of thrust so what was said had an impact that a moron on the street wouldn't have achieved.

That being said,I'm truly happy that you didn't succeed.Each person is precious.I hope that since then you managed to have a happy life as much as it's possible with those awful laws and prejudices.

the same as the recognition of a business joint partnership. That is, the government gives 2 (or more) people in a business joint partnership the ability to do business as one entity. And all legal transactions occur based on this relationship. Other than that it's none of the governments business. So it is blatant discrimination to not recognize a same sex marriage.

In the previous one, I was a member of a quad marriage (not according to the government, but then, there's the rub). Nowadays, we're a triad, but 10 years later, there still isn't a damn thing acknowledging non standard marriage or partnership or whatever you care to call it. Eons ago, I was in a monogamous marriage of one woman and one man and I can promise you, there isn't anything different going on in my house nowadays than then (except for some extra scheduling difficulties and trying to remember who you told what to). I suspect the same is true of same sex couples, triads, quads and so on.

And don't even get me started on the egregious mix of church and state that a marriage encompasses but if we must have it that way, religion needs to get out of the business of deciding who may enter into such a union. Of course, if I had my way, marriage would be the purview of religions and civil unions (without a restriction on number or gender) would be the purview of the state. Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath.

Do the members have to vote on things, to get a majority verdict (eg on medical treatment, or legal matters, when one partner is unable to answer for themselves)? Do all the members have a veto on anything? Do you get tax breaks for all members - if so, is there a requirement that the union is more than just sharing a household? How is a 'divorce' handled - can a majority vote out a minority of the union? Must the whole thing break up, and those wanting to stay in union with one of more of the remainder reform it all? If there are children, do the non-biological parents get less access or custody than the biological ones?

Going to unions without a restriction on numbers changes the concept of a civil union profoundly.

It does get complex when you get past 2, doesn't it?

she was in our seventh grade. I was always nice to her because I didn't know anything about lesbians. She was the Safety Patrol and would always ask our teacher if I could help. Seems no one else wanted to. One day the teacher took me aside and said was she overly friendly I said no she just talks and laughs and says no body likes her. The teacher nodded and let it go. I always wondered why. All Thur life I would meet and greet her. Even after some one told me she was a lesbian and I knew what that meant.

I also was very good friends with a gay fellow. He used to go roller skating with my girl friend and I. And he later would find us some place and hang on. He worked with me also. I saw the snide remarks people made of him but he was a heck of a nice guy.

I don't understand why people are so upset with people that are different these two individuals were very very nice, very friendly and never once did the lesbian make a "move" on me as people said she would So I get upset when they talk about them.

:hi:

sexual orientation has little to do with how nice a person is.

She could have said anything she wanted to. I know a lot of my lesbian friends said "married", whether that marriage was recognized in the state they live in or not.

It's not like I'm a marriage cop.

I could have, and probably should have said, "Ma'am, I just put down whatever you tell me". She probably would have gotten the hint. But I'm not suppose to influence the answers, either, so I don't think I could have gone beyond that.


I'll keep that in mind for the next time, if there is one. :-)

While I haven't (as far as I know) had any LBGTQ families that I know of, there have been other answers where I've said, "Whatever you say, I write down" when we get to the hard questions and there is some resistance or confusion. I marked down an "American" race yesterday.

:-)


I just wish I'd thought of saying that at the scene.

They wanted me to put down Caucasian, so I did. Noticing that biracial people seem to be much more open this year to putting down 2 or more races also.

Oh, wait a minute, a mod posted this.

:D

Don

and they got married the year my state voted for the Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. The band affected them too, but at least they could do something about it.

Rather apt in context.

"We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges."




http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkihaveadream.htm