Oil Executives March On D.C.

More than 1,000 majority shareholders and executive officers from the nation's largest oil companies gathered in the National Mall and marched to Capitol Hill Monday in a mass demonstration for petrochemical corporations' rights and, according to several of those who attended, "to let our voices be heard at last."

"We're American citizens, and we demand to be part of the national dialogue," said John S. Watson, vice president of international exploration and production for Chevron Corporation, the world's second-largest oil company. "Many people in our industry think nobody in Washington cares about us, and that our opinions don't matter. We're here today to change that."

Guest speakers, including folk-singing lobbyist Anne Novotny, international drilling-rights activist Bill Marshall, and several Saudi princes, focused on the need to extend subsidies to offshore drilling efforts, grant tax breaks for the construction of new refineries, and stop oppressive environmental regulation.

But the real message of the protest was more personal: To demonstrators, the oil industry is unappreciated and even persecuted by large segments of the public who only want them for the gasoline they sell. Protesters hoisted signs reflecting this sentiment, bearing such slogans as "Enough Is Enough," "Power To The Petroleum-Producing People," "Texaco-American Pride," and "I'm Pro-Oil And I Vote."

"Politicians are supposed to work for everyone," said Red Cavaney, president of the American Petroleum Institute. "For years, they've pretended like we didn't even exist. But today, with this many people from the oil industry right here in our nation's capital, we're sending an undeniably strong message."

Oil executives traveled from as far as Irving, TX to attend the event. Some, such as Exxon Mobil chairman and CEO Rex W. Tillerson, said they were missing important board meetings and sacrificing as much as three days of vacation time just to be among their fellow oilmen.

"You can't ignore us any longer, America," a flag-draped Tillerson said. "Get used to us, because we refuse to stand in silence. From now on, the power brokers in Washington will sit up and listen."

The march, which took place just after lunchtime, was limited to a strict route, and was closely monitored by hundreds of DC police in riot gear. Authorities reported no arrests or instances of violence, even after a tense moment when some protesters chanting "Members of the board will not be ignored!" passed a security barricade and crossed Pennsylvania Avenue.

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http://www.theonion.com/articles/oil-executives-march-on-dc,1960/

I suspected as much when I started reading the OP.

Thanks for providing a much needed laugh!

:rofl: