BP memo on how to speak to Americans: - Democratic Underground

rzemanfl

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Sun May-30-10 03:03 PM
Original message

BP memo on how to speak to Americans:

Americans can't remember what a fortnight is, so instead of saying a fortnight, just say "four days."

Americans like TV show titles, so you can use "Forty-eight Hours" frequently (particularly to extend the above) but never say "60 Minutes."

To Americans "90 days" is the same as cash and sounds much shorter than "three months" "until the end of August" or "by late summer."

Just remember, we are BP and they can't fuck with us. Any American on probation for two criminal charges would be in their house wearing an ankle braclet, but not BP.

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CountAllVotes

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Sun May-30-10 03:09 PM
Response to Original message

1. a fortnight

Edited on Sun May-30-10 03:10 PM by CountAllVotes

happens to be 2 weeks!

>>The fortnight is a unit of time equivalent to fourteen days. The word derives from the Old English feorwertyne niht, meaning "fourteen nights".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortnight

Seems some one else needs to learn a few things eh?

:grr:

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meow mix

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Sun May-30-10 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #1

3. it was a self-fullfing criticism, who can blame him for that?

Edited on Sun May-30-10 03:12 PM by meow mix

lol, ive never known what a fortnight is glad to have the info

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CountAllVotes

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Sun May-30-10 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #3

4. well, I found out the hard way

Edited on Sun May-30-10 03:32 PM by CountAllVotes

in the year 1984 I went on a cheapo tour of England and the UK. Everyone on that tour, which left from England, was British. They kept saying we'd be back in a "fortnight" which was how long the tour lasted for - two weeks.

That said, the tour was pretty interesting I guess. The only thing I disliked about it was that the average age of the people on the tour was close to 80 years old, which was the downside of this cheapo tour. Said tour had a history of having passengers die onboard. *eek*

I suppose I learned something anyway - always knew what a fortnight was after that.

:kick:

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rzemanfl

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Sun May-30-10 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #1

6. I know how long a fortnight is, whenever BP says four days, it

turns out to be 14. That was my point.

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Berry Cool

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Mon May-31-10 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #6

7. Well, if this was just your attempt at humor, then don't pretend it's a real BP memo.

My opinion is that it's not a particularly funny attempt.

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rzemanfl

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Mon May-31-10 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #7

8. I am reminded of when domestic surveillance was a hot issue

Edited on Mon May-31-10 01:07 PM by rzemanfl

and I did a post to the effect that the long dead Shirley Booth "who played a domestic on TV" would have been in favor of it according to her family. Some people took that seriously too.

Would this have been better? "Those lying m*therf***ers at BP say four days when they mean two weeks and then keep adding another two days to it."

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yurbud

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Mon May-31-10 01:13 PM
Response to Reply #1

9. they should WANT to use measure people don't know: ''We've lost a million stones of oil

''...that caused about a trillion quid in damages, give or take a guinea.''

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SpiralHawk

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Sun May-30-10 03:10 PM
Response to Original message

2. "By no means ever say 'We are employing Republicon strategery.'"

Edited on Sun May-30-10 03:11 PM by SpiralHawk

Even though that's true, Americans know from long, repeated, and painful experience that Republicons = FAIL, Corruption, lying, Faux Conservativism & wide-stance, luggage handling hanky panky.

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Dr.Phool

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Sun May-30-10 03:26 PM
Response to Original message

5. "Get off my lawn,er beach!

"You! Wit da camera! Up against the wall!"

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