Mother: I did not murder autistic son (she strangled him with her belt to 'send him to heaven')

My heart aches for this poor kid. My gut reaction was "where did this monster of a mother come from?" and then I think about that New Hampshire Republican who said special needs people should be sent to Siberia to freeze and die. Heartbreaking stuff.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/mother-i-did-not-murder-autistic-son-2281606.html

A Snippet: The 49-year-old admits manslaughter but denies murdering Glen, whose body was found in a room at the Sky Plaza Hotel in May last year.

"I strangled him. I used my belt over there by the bed.

"He's severely autistic, he's in heaven now where he won't be autistic, he'll be happy now."

parent rise to do the very best for their child. These are parents who learned sign language, invented
and built adaptive equipment for their child, spent extra time and money to find ways to enhance their
child's scope of the World and who took advantage of programs and assistance they never dreamed they would be using.

IMHO This woman who killed her son is the total exception for parents with special children.




Tikki

It causes some parents to snap.

Murder-suicides in particular are common.

She left an abusive marriage, was practically homeless and was the sole caregiver to a child who needed 24-hour care. I think she had a breakdown, and if she recovers, will try to kill herself again because of what she has done. It seems from the article she actually did love her child a lot.

within the framework of her beliefs. She seems to be satisfied that he's now healed and living happily in Heaven.

Of course, that assumes she's telling the truth about her motivation. If she just wanted to be rid of him because she was sick of taking care of him, I'd expect her to try to cover it up, maybe try to make it look like an accident, something like that. Although it's possible that she's laying the groundwork for an insanity defense.

"within the framework of her beliefs"?

So it's OK to kill somebody if your deluded imaginings tell you they're going to another, better place?

and I didn't imply that it is. She committed a dreadful crime. I was merely speculating about what her motive may have been. Regardless of why she did it, she's dangerous and she needs to be locked up forever.

I've seen several posts about mothers killing their kids...nobody ever stands up for the mom...but make the kid retarded and it seems a lot of people feel sorry for the mom.

Not accusing you of this...but a lot of the threads feel sorry for mom. (as do I) But I've never seen this response to normal children being murdered. Says something about society.

And yes, I feel sorry for her, too and in no way condone her actions.

Now, leave your baby in the car while you gamble and you can go straight to hell.

But it's also strangely rewarding in its own way.

I also heard of a case in which a Philly-area mom and dad drove their special-needs kid to a children's hospital in Delaware and simply left him there.

This woman was a victim of domestic abuse, has previous suicide attempts and was the sole care-giver for her severely disabled child who needed 24-hour care and was living in motel rooms - no council flat for this mother and disabled child. She and her children clearly needed help; they got none.

While Wales is its own country (Cymru) and has its own language (Cymraeg), it is part of the UK.

I'm a special ed teacher with severe kids.... all but one of my students are in foster care at this point. They also enjoy life, work volunteer jobs, have favorite people, movies, foods and they enjoy life. THey have as much right to it as anyone else who is a human being.

"I do not think that the retarded should be allowed to come near children. Children cannot deal, and should not have to deal, with the very tragic spectacle of a handicapped human being. When they grow up, they may give it some attention, if they're interested, but it should never be presented to them in childhood, and certainly not as an example of something they have to live down to." - Ayn Rand, The Age of Mediocrity, Q & A Ford Hall Forum, April, 1981

Portraying us as living horrible, nightmarish lives. :puke:

This child required 24-hour care and was severely disabled. Blame the dismantling of the UK's Public Health if you're going to blame anyone. They both needed help and didn't get it.

On all the posts on moms who kill kids people never stand up for the mom or feel sorry for the mom....but if the kid is autistic suddenly lots of people are feeling sorry for mom.

One of the oddest features of DU is the entirely predictable tendency for certain members to dismiss mothers' crimes against their own children as "postpartum psychosis." The Fristian diagnostic ability of these geniuses is amazing. If it's not a made-up remote medical diagnosis to exonerate killer moms its inevitably blamed on some man who forced her into it (Rusty Yates, anyone?). Your DU experience is radically different from mine if you have failed to notice this trend.

It is possible to pity her without condoning what she did. Try it. Read the article first.

many responses that say they are sorry for the mom but make no mention of the murdered kid. I put the murdered kid first, then feel sorry for the mom. That's what I meant. I deal with mom's who are exhausted by special needs kids all the time... I know how hard it is. But my job is to watch out for the kid and help the family in that order.

without absolving mom of all responsibility for it.

Most certainly! This family was let down by the system, the child was doubley let down by the system and his mom.

You're posting lies, and you have no idea.

what it takes to have a special needs child. My so called normal children can drive you to the brink of insanity. I have no judgment of her as I know she will probably be in her own personal hell for
years to come with the realization of what she did.

"incited" a parent to kill their autistic child. Just one. Cite it or shut up.

http://www.autism-hub.co.uk/autism-speaks-dont-speak-for-me/index.php

The film itself contained a segment where one of the mothers interviewed said that:

"I remember that was a scary moment for me when I realized I had sat in the car for about 15 minutes and actually contemplated putting Jody in the car and driving off the George Washington Bridge. That would be preferable to having to put her in one of these schools."

The mother in question made this statement whilst her autistic daughter was in the room with her. She further added that the only reason she didn't kill her autistic child and herself was the thought of her non-disabled daughter.

Did that "incite" any parent to kill an Autstic child? Not that I've heard of. Does it give legitimacy to such an idea, particularly in the mind of a parent who has a mentall illness? Oh yeah.

her feelings?

That's nonsense.

And it's a MILLION MILES away from "inciting" someone to do anything.

"I sat around for 15 minutes and thought about going on a shooting rampage and killing black people. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that a white person might get hit with a stray round".

Expressing an opinion--even a reprehensible one--is not the same as inciting violence. Never has been, never will be.

And your attempt to equate the frustration of raising a severely disable child with racism and hatred is sad.

Do we know that to be the case?

one thing i am 100% sure of is that they hear everything i say. I have a student who never talks and you would think is not aware of anything around her. I can whisper "_____, go get me the stapler" from the other side of the classroom and she gets it for me.

I had a student who would take a 1000 piece puzzle up and put it together without turning all the pieces up. She would pick up a piece look at it, and then pick out a piece that fit up against it from the pile of pieces half up, half down. all jumbled together. She could do the puzzle in 1/2 an hour or so--she never spread the pieces out...she just picked them up from the pile. I witnessed this on pretty much a daily basis.

I had a young man who did not communicate at all. He did not read or write (as far as we could tell). But he'd watch a movie and at the end you couldn't turn it off until he'd watched all the credits. The second the tape stopped he would run to the computer and type word for word the movie credits. Every single word from the beginning to the end. It was all in one block with no spaces. You know how many people are in the credits of a movie? caterers, best boys, film commissions...and all the little tiny fine print. This kid would type every single word of the credits. I personally checked it myself on more than one occasion and he never once made a single mistake. He would type so fast his fingers were practically a blur...usually it was at least two full pages of typing.

So, yes, I believe if you say you want to kill your autistic child in front of them, they hear it and know what it means.

I know he does not understand everything.

and poor people, and hungry people, and peeps with special needs. None of that makes sense to me and nobody has been able to explain it to me.

But I am always shocked by my students and their abilities and so I aim high with all of my goals for them.

I also teach kids who are close to finishing out of public ed so I get them after many rooms of teachers have worked with them and the parents have spent so much effort helping their kids advance. At the age I get them it seems a lot of the earlier lessons are finally settling in and I do see a lot of advances. Just like every teacher who works with high school + age students. Kids with autism also mature and leave a lot of childhood behavior behind.

Every single kid has potential inside. It is a beautiful thing when it starts to show. :0)

That's all. Just... thanks.

:hi:

I've been giving lots of parents pep talks lately. I'm getting mighty good at it.
:hi:

:)

...know that others think and understand to be offensive.

abusive for a parent to say, in front of their autistic child, that they considered killing the child and then themselves...but chose not to because it would effect their normal child negatively?

I am really hoping I am misreading your statement.

I don't expect anyone to just KNOW anything. I am talking about treating them with respect and not talking in front of them as if they do not understand.

one can occur with the other, it doesn't mean they are the same or always present together (or even most of the time).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savant_syndrome

many things in the mix nobody has been able to classify.

hmmm. :shrug:

:hi:

that kid was in a safer place.

The fact she would say that in front of her kid shows me she has no right raising that child. Even if she didn't go through it.

Autistic kids hear and know what you say.

Autism Speaks has never ONCE insinuated that my son's life is worthless.

Yet we hold them responsible for their actions.

I know parents with severe special needs situations. Yes, it's tough.

But you do them a disservice lumping them in with this nut.

Easy to judge? Yeah, here it is.

:grr: :banghead: :argh: :nuke:

Well, then, I guess I'm goin' to hell in a bucket, baby, but at least I'm enjoying the ride...

edit: That reminds me of the (now discarded, I believe) Mormon conceit that "God will make you white when you go to Heaven". :eyes:

He won't be autistic anymore. He won't be anything anymore, except a piece of meat in a casket.

I don't blame religion for this. I blame mental illness. However, superstition combined with mental illness always leads to bad things.

I just had a talk with a parent (I am a special ed teacher) who is exhausted and beat up. She was so tired that everything she said was negative and difficult. So, I pulled her aside, talked to her about resources, offered to help, set up two meetings for her... why am I doing that?

Because social services have been cut and cut and cut and parents with tough kids are getting frazzled and worn out and nobody is helping them.

But you still don't kill your kid.

Wales is part of the UK but has its own language.

(National Children's Bureau and National Health Services)

Edit for Saesnaeg

I am heartbroken for this woman. There, but for better fortune, go I.

It is possible to both condemn her actions and pity her for her circumstances (abuse, homelessness, sole care-giver to a severely disabled child who needed 24-hour care, history of suicide attempts). She and her children (she has others still with the abuser) needed help.

they all needed help. Her mental illness was obvious.

I'm grateful this is one of the few links I could click on. After reading the whole story, I'm heartbroken. She has three other children that will have to deal with this for the rest of their lives. I didn't see a "father" mentioned, but read about domestic abuse. I'll assume he, or they, have no place in the kid's lives.

Though I think she understood what she was doing, I'm not so certain she knew it was wrong. It sounds to me as if she's a bit childlike herself and very religious. Raising four children in her circumstances would be overwhelming to the best of us, though most of us would fight a lot harder to get some help. She may have been emotionally incapable of doing that. People that suffer abuse can become fearful of outsiders.

Horrible. I hope her other children are given better chances than their mother or brother were given. I hope they can heal.

Clearly, she was not sane. Obviously, many people care for children and other relatives under similar situations without mentally breaking down but it's not surprising that some do. The whole thing is very sad. I hope she winds up in an institution and not in prison.

AKA prison.