The BENEFITS of the Rapture

- Unemployment will drop precipitously immediately. Thousands and thousands of jobs, many of them good-paying, will open up. The unemployment rate will plummet.

- Gas companies tell us that the price of gas is based on "demand". If that is true, "demand" is about to go through the floor as thousands of cars will no longer be in use. Gas will be down under $3 a gallon by the end of the month.

- Traffic will be awesome!

- Much shorter lines at Disneyworld attractions.

- Plenty of good seats available at NBA and NHL playoff games, baseball games, and you can pick your seat for any Broadway show. Of course, you might end up watching understudies perform.

First of all, not many of us will be taken. Certainly not enough to effect seating arrangements at NBA playoff games.

However, those of us who DO remain will undoubtedly enjoy our lives a great deal more once the Rapture is accomplished. A high percentage of the most boring and annoying people on the planet will at that point be gone. Once this is accomplished, I have it on good authority, the Nazarene will indeed return in hopes that a) he can find a good party and b) no one will nail him to a tree for being a nice guy like they did the last time c) that no one will ever again use him as an excuse to kill, maim, torture, or persecute others.

The Rapture is a divine plot to rid us of the most pernicious members of our society, basically by herding them into a place with gold paved streets and handing them harps, thereby enabling the rest of us to live our lives and love as we please. Praise the Lord!

Trav

who think they'll stay, will find in many instances just the opposite will happen.

Those who believe don't always walk the talk, & those who don't believe do walk that talk.

Might want to invest in Kleenex for all the crying.
:hi:

I think there might be a few surprises should this occur.

shorter lines for the Costco free samples, wait free Sunday brunch, tattoo artists will be able to make more money tattooing the mark of the beast, and finally more babies named Damian.

While there's still someone out there to make it.

This could be interesting.

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get sucked into the clouds via the Zombie Jesus 2011 celestial vacuum especially Evangelical Christians! America would be able to flourish & begin to focus more on science & things that matter to humanity instead of people pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into worthless causes like trying to stop abortion & trying to stop same sex marriage...Public schools could actually teach real science without fear of religious NUTS getting all pissed off.

One can only dream!!

generally hold that the "elect" will number 144,000. Read carefully, that 144,000 includes people now long dead as all who have ever lived could qualify. Since most of the people who have ever lived are currently dead, the vast bulk of the 144,000 might easily be dead folks who are currently not employed or burning gasoline. It also includes everyone, everywhere currently living. Since there are then about 7 billion potential candidates, 144,000 missing will be difficult to notice economically.

Everybody else is in economy-class, where you just float up there all naykee and everything and don't even get any in-flight pretzels.

Since there is no rapture in the Bible, it would pose some interesting theological questions.

Among others, we'd finally know whether it was meant to be taken literally or not. The closest passage in the Bible says (paraphrasing) "the farmers in their fields will be lifted to Heaven," so, if the Bible is to be taken literally, the only people raptured will be A)farmers who are B)engaged in the act of farming at that moment.