Maple Syrup Reactors Safe, Canadian Prime Minister Reassures

OTTAWA—Canadian prime minister Stephen Harper addressed growing public concerns about the safety of his country's maple syrup reactors Thursday, reassuring citizens that the sucrose fission facilities posed little risk of failure and there was absolutely no reason to be concerned.

"In light of recent global events, I want to assure everyone that our maple syrup reactors are still the safest in the world," Harper said. "A team of engineers inspected every maple syrup reactor in Canada and found that all the backup systems and safeguard measures were in place and functioning properly."

Harper maintained that safeguarding the production of maple syrup was crucial, as it represents 70 percent of the Canadian economy, generating more than $900 billion each year. Harper also said the nation's 75 maple syrup reactors, which produce 7 billion gallons annually, were a considerable distance away from population centers.

"Maple syrup is still the safest form of sweetener," Harper said. "It's far less dangerous than molasses."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/maple-syrup-reactors-safe-canadian-prime-minister,20511/

:rofl:

They are perfectly safe, until they are not.

:P

Then he'll likely waffle.

;-)

(Yay, The Onion!)

They'll be coming to get me... unless my kids have heard about the Onion.. :)