Don't know where to put this -HELP

I am devasted - my daughter won't talk to me anymore, she won't return phone calls or answer text messages. My daughter, her SO and daughter were invited for a luncheon to meet some of my friends. She knew their leanings as I told her. Of course three dems in the conversation, all three were radio hosts on progressive radio.
All four conversed, disagreed but nothing mean was said. My daughter's SO is a teabagger. My daughter was a very strong democrat before she met him. All of them were loud but that is them. All of a sudden my daughter yells out, "listen to me, my daughter doesn't need to hear this especially the yelling." My grand daughter is 18 months old and did not pay any attention what was happening. She was busy doing her own thing (I had a basket of toys and plenty of food). Her SO was really involved in the conversation-actually not paying attention to his daughter.

They did go to the SO's side of the family a few weeks ago, she did not let me know she left (just thought she left) or when they were returning, they are tea bags also. I texted her a message asking when she would return - answer I'm back, that is it. I sent her text messages how is my grand daughter and how are things - no response. So, I sent my SO a text asked the same thing - he sent it to her and the response was I said I am back. That's it. She does want me to call her all them but she doesn't respond, if she does, it is like a minute and must go take care of daughter. She wants me to visit more often - when I call to ask to visit -- the response is "We have plans" or if I am able to visit the little one is always sleeping.

I am so confused but quite hurt. I've done so much to help my daughter before her SO and I have done quite a bit after baby was born.

I would take care of my grand daughter if she could not go to day care - but one night I was called asked to care for my little one but I could not do this because night driving is an issue with me. Her SO hurt his hand and was going to emergency -this really ticked her off. You know, I just could not drive safely plus I was fixing dinner. I remember when I got sick my exhusband packed everyone into the car and all went together when they were little.

I feel like a loser now. I just can't give anymore. By the way, I am almost 70yrs old. I just don't have the abilities anymore.

The worst part is I don't have a clue what I said or did and I haven't seen my grandkids in over six months.

Yeah, it's painful.

:hug:

last 3 months. I had no idea I was not alone in this situation. I cry daily and if I didn't have DU I would cry even more. My daughter has problems but none that really can't be solved. She does have a problem with her young son--he is autistic and I know she is at her wits end, but I couldn't believe it when the last conversation we had over the phone she shouted at me so long and so loud I couldn't believe it. After that my granddaughter stopped coming over after school. I don't know if it was her choice or her mother's. I tried calling her but she would not answer. All she had to do was tell me why. I realize I am older and am not able to get around but I have always been there for her and had her back. I guess we are never too old for surprises. I will be 79 in Sept.

Is it possible your daughter is so heavily stressed that she's "freaking out"

for want of a better word?....I ask, because you said her son

is autistic, which seems akin to a "caregiver" situation,

and I knew one such caregiver who came VERY close to

losing it, e.g. screaming at friends and family, etc.

because of the strain....Is there someone you both

have in common that you could call and ask?

I hope this resolves for you.:hug:

my daughter said she did not want me to take care of my grand daughter anymore because I am undependable because I could not help with my little one. The first time I said no- I am out and worthless.

I am just hurting that I have given so much and now get slapped in the face.

Adult children? I wonder.

this kind of situation is "beyond my pay grade" as they say.

circle. This has happened to me twice, and both times my kids came back once they had gotten out of the relationships, and felt badly about their behavior.

So maybe just sit back and be patient and your daughter will find a way to fit you both in her life.

And don't feel badly about saying no to babysitting. It is a favor if you take care of the grandchild. That means you should be able to say no without recriminations.

I sure hope it all works out well for you.

I was always there. I was invited for Christmas dinner last year but I ended up cooking most of the dinner. I am just sick. They need help and I am always there. Not anymore. They are on their own.

My mother, father, sister are all birther/teabaggers. They live on the east coast and my parents never visit, have never offered to help, never call, never text. We'll skype once in a great while. But I know much of why they stay away is due to them seeing me and my little west coast family as the enemy because of FOX news. My parents homeschool my sisters kids, take them on several vacations every year, feed them three meals a day, take them to movies, museums, plays, buy them toys and clothes. My father has never even met my four year old daughter. They say they are too busy with my sisters kids and they are.
It breaks my heart. I would be devastated if my daughter grew up and cut me off because her love didn't share my particular point of view. I hope your daughter warms up and calls you soon.:hug:
It wasn't like this before though was it? I remember a time not too long ago where dem and rep family and friends could still converse in a friendly manner, still be close and agree to disagree. What happened?

Fox, Limbaugh, Boortz, Savage, the list is well nigh endless of right wingers in the media calling anyone to to the left of Barry Goldwater a traitor at best.

The political dialogue in this country has been poisoned, deliberately so IMO.

who is well over 80. She barely saw her grandkids (my bro and sister's kids) because of this type of muck. (I only have cats and a dog)

Take her out of the will and let her know. Then, don't contact her anymore. Let her make the first move - and amends, if she so chooses - and be aware that she may never choose to do so. But no reason you need to let her continue to hurt you like this. You are not a piece of trash to be discarded. You could write her a letter and tell her about your feelings and the removal from the will and leave it at that - let her know SHE will make the next move if one is made. If not, you're done because you don't deserve to be treated like that and won't put up with it.

My Mom's grandkids are a mess having been raised undisciplined and redneck/teabaggar-style. Nothing she could do. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is just let go.

If you still want to make phone calls and visits, perhaps it would be beneficial to set up a schedule so they are understood mutually to be expected, scheduled events. Say, call once a week at 7pm on Tuesday or something like that.

Your daughter is behaving like a spoiled, manipulative little brat. I don't know if this is an old habit of hers or one more recently acquired, but I do know this - it's never too late to STOP rewarding bad behavior. Stop allowing her to abuse you. Revoke her permission to dictate how you feel. Don't give her that power any more.

Even if you don't see her you can still make sure she knows you love her and your grand daughter. Call when you know her SO is out. The problem is probably coming from him. My best to you in these tough times.

for your support. It doesn't take the pain away but the support does help.

My family used to be made up of strong democrats. A couple have strayed. We get into strong discussions about politics. Here is what I did on the last trip to visit in 3 yrs. I told my sister to make sure she tell her son that there would be not discussions about politics or I would leave. It worked and we had a ball. After I found out that my nephew and brother-in-law both voted for Obama because they couldn't vote for McCain because of Palin. Now they both consider themselves disappointed republicans. Both think the republican party has strayed way to far to the right. Now that is good news for democrats. As long as the democrats don't stray to far to the left we will benefit. People want to protect medicare, medicaid and social security. At least most normal republicans and democrats do.

Just wait it out. Write her a letter and tell her from now on when you have mixed company you will make a promise to make sure everyone knows not to talk politics. That is all you can do. The rest will be up to her. She will come back to her senses. Let her find out for herself.